Anonymous #1 3w

Why would you want somebody always up in your business though. Like what’s the point of that responsibility. What if you just wanna hang out with other friends doing something you enjoy all week. And then you have like this whole other person you have to deal with.

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Anonymous #1 3w

It just seems like such a damper on your freedom and autonomy

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Anonymous OP 3w

that is definitely not the typical experience of having a romantic partner...

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Anonymous #2 3w

Well cause like I’ve had a partner before and every time I interacted with her it’s like I was sacrificing time I could be doing other things. I don’t think there’s anyone who I haven’t felt that way about.

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Anonymous OP 3w

do you not... like them?

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Anonymous #2 3w

I thought I liked them. Like more than anyone else I guess.

2

Anonymous #2 3w

I’ve never liked anyone more

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Anonymous OP 3w

i guess just don't date people then 😬

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Anonymous #2 3w

😂 fuck fair enough. Do you seriously not get tired of them and just like wanna throw them out the window?

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Anonymous OP 3w

i... dude no offense but are you like actually a psychopath? because getting violently sick of someone you're meant to be romantically involved with is 100% not normal behavior. idk if i'm getting baited here or what

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Anonymous OP 3w

bestie i’d get tested for sociopathy if i were you.

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Anonymous OP 3w

i like being close to someone & sharing things with them on an intimate level.

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Anonymous #1 3w

No but like, I care about them yk? Like I want the best for them and everything. But after a while, having to go do things together and having them around me I just get so sick of them.

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Anonymous #2 3w

No so like I told the other guy. It’s not that I don’t like them or want what’s best for them or whatever right? I just dread spending time together after a while.

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Anonymous #3 3w

No like I get that about them just being a friend right. But I disappear from my friends for weeks on end before I come back to my friend group like nothing happened. It’s like you can’t do that with someone you’re in a relationship with yk?

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Anonymous OP 3w

You should consider in the future having a conversation about your boundaries and not feeling smothered. Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip, and I would feel uncomfortable and frustrated as well if I didn’t feel like I was getting the space I needed in a relationship.

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Anonymous #3 3w

Totally it just feels like the space I need is like a week on a week off. Maybe even less on. I have multiple friend groups that I kind of migrate between so like my best friend I don’t see for a few weeks we don’t text or anything. That’s what I want a partner I think. I don’t wanna see them very much.

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Anonymous OP 3w

Not trying to diagnose, but you might have attachment issues, specifically avoidant attachment style. I would take a minute to think about why you take that space from your friends for weeks: what triggers it, why you feel like you need space, your friends’ and your behavior.

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Anonymous #3 3w

I don’t know I don’t think I feel much connection to them. If any or all of my friends disowned me, I could get some new ones pretty easily. And sometimes they’re just not doing things I’m interested in so I’ll go to another friend group for a couple of weeks until they are. Like my last relationship we started dating and I kept thinking I was gonna care about them at some point like it would matter but like seven months in and I just did not give a shit if we were dating or not.

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Anonymous OP 3w

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

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Anonymous #2 3w

I just don’t understand how you guys care. There’s a lot of fish in the sea, and you could be in another relationship in like 30 minutes.

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Anonymous OP 3w

okay so this is what makes me think psychopath (unless I'm being baited). when someone is romantically involved with someone else, there is usually something about that person in particular that appeals to you in some way. they are not replaceable with just anyone else. the fact that your response is "idk just get a new one" is imo a concerning way to view other people, especially people you're meant to care about

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Anonymous OP 3w

So my guess would be that you’re a sociopath. It seems like you either aren’t capable of or have no desire to form deep connections with people and engage in relationships for what they can give you (i.e. entertainment, sex) instead of for human connection and love. That’s a completely valid identity, and if that’s the case, my advice to you would be to stop dating, as you’re probably hurting people’s feelings by not reciprocating. I’d look up online sociopath forums and see if I relate.

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Anonymous #2 3w

Uh oh. That’s not good 😅 Like I remember when she said I love you for the first time. And like mentally I registered that that’s a really big deal. But I remember being so disappointed because I knew I was supposed to feel something but I really didn’t care. How do you guys care? Is it just natural?

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Anonymous #3 3w

Thank u! I might have to look into that. I just I don’t feel like I’m a sociopath, I cared about her and that like I wanted her to be happy and I wanted to make her happy. I just didn’t feel anything the whole time.

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Anonymous #2 3w

That makes me really sad actually… I wanna feel stuff, I just, like how? Every relationship I’ve ever been in has felt like “I can just get another. “

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Anonymous OP 3w

I think you are unable to form meaningful connections with people but still experience empathy, which matches up with the criteria for socio/psycho-pathy. There is a lot of stigma, shame, and vitriol surrounding these identities, so I just want to say regardless of what the outcome of this is: there is nothing wrong with you. Around 1 in 30 people have ASPD (antisocial personality disorder). Everyone is different in their own way.

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Anonymous #3 3w

❤️❤️❤️ thank you, I might see about talking to a psychiatrist/therapist if I can afford one 😅 low-key talking through this really helped.

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Anonymous OP 3w

I feel the same way. I care about the people I’ve dated, but I just can’t be around anyone that much. I’ve been told it’s my autism, but I don’t know

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Anonymous OP 3w

I’ve experienced the same sort of disappointment with “I love you”. I did care about them, but I just couldn’t feel the things I was supposed to. Damn maybe I should get tested too 😭

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Anonymous #4 3w

Same way with kissing! Idk if u have this but my first kiss was SO underwhelming.

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Anonymous OP 3w

It’s the same for me! Kissing just feels like an action I have to do

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Anonymous #4 3w

OMFG RIGHT?! And the whole time I’m thinking. I’m supposed to be enjoying this. Why do I feel like I do every other time? I know I should be but I’m not having an emotional reaction to this. Dude are we sociopaths? Like actually?

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Anonymous OP 3w

I just want to second the other people in this thread saying you are likely a sociopath. And there is nothing wrong with that! Just please don’t keep that from people when dating them, because if you haven’t had real feelings for anyone so far, you likely never will and it would be a shame to hurt them like that. And yes, for the rest of us it is just natural. If you’ve never felt like “I can’t live without this person” you are probably a sociopath.

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Anonymous #6 3w

See that’s crazy to me. When I get to go home after a long day, having to turn around and continue dealing with people sounds aweful 😅

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Anonymous #7 3w

I honestly don’t think so. I looked into it more, and a sociopath needs to have a complete lack of empathy or remorse. OP and I both have empathy, we also care about the people we’re dating. And at least for me, I feel so bad for hurting people I care about, and not being able to feel the right things.

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Anonymous #4 3w

In my case, I think it really might just be my autism. I can’t be around anyone that much, not even my family. I care about people a lot, I just don’t feel or show it in the traditional way. Dating and its customs (I love you, kissing, etc) don’t really connect with me, so I don’t feel much of anything about those. It’s fine at first, but I get burned out by people who want so much from me.

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Anonymous #5 3w

And you don’t get tired or not want to see them for extended periods of time like ever?

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Anonymous #8 3w

I will! Cause I’ve been looking into Sociopath but that doesn’t seem right. I genuinely care about people. I don’t think I’m doing that to manipulate people either. I care about a lot of people but I know I’ll be okay if they leave my life. After I broke up with my ex I was fine that day. I felt bad for her but sure she’ll find someone who can make her happy and care about her the way she deserves. I worry if I ever have children I’ll get to hold them for the first time and feel nothing.

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Anonymous #4 3w

No same! And I don’t derive any pleasure from other people’s sadness. If other people are sad I will be to. I just never feel like I need anyone I guess? Like friends, relationships all that is pretty replaceable so it’s hard to feel like I need anyone yk? I wanna feel like I need someone it my life but ultimately I don’t. I will be perfectly fine regardless of what other people choose to be in my life.

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Anonymous OP 3w

I do occasionally get tired, but then I just have some time alone. As I get more comfortable with specific people, they stop feeling like “People” as in I don’t have to mask around them, I can be Me comfortably. This makes me tire of them MUCH slower.

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