I’m white so please ignore this if it doesn’t help cuz obvs ive never experienced racialized masculinization but I think what helped me a lot accept my transness was realizing that “girlhood” and “boyhood” could mean whatever I wanted them too?? like society at large has its own views on what those mean, and honestly it’s often contradictory anyway, but I think a big part of being queer is creating our own definitions for what these gendered terms even mean for us. pt 1/?

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Because femininity didn’t seem to be a choice for me when I was a little Black girl, so I didn’t get whatever that ‘girlhood’ experience was (even though I’m confused about what ‘girlhood’ would be.)

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just want to plug a couple pieces of writing that might speak to your experience: “My Gender Is Marronage” (Nsambu Za Suekama, 2017), "Gendering Ungender: Notes On Nonbinary Blackness" (Dashaun Harrison, 2021), "My Gender Is Black" (Hari Ziyad, 2017) and “Black is the Color of My Gender" (Mia Harrison).

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