Anonymous #1 1w

I know. when people say pan is the same as bi it's usually bc they don't validate nonbinary people. if there are only two genders then attraction to all(pan) and attraction to two or more(bi) are the same thing, that's what I meant. if people view bi and pan as the same exact thing it's usually bc they think there are only two genders

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Anonymous OP 1w

bonus points if they claim being pan is biphobic bc "they're the same thing, you just don't want to be bi". it's so frustrating

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Anonymous OP 1w

Im aware of that, there’s also people that ignorantly believe that if you like trans people you’re pan and if you don’t then you’re bi, or if you like non binary people you’re pan and if you only like the binary genders you’re bi, it comes from a similar place of ignorance of course, the post wasn’t super clear on that so thanks for clarifying

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Anonymous #1 1w

ah, sorry. yeah attraction to trans/nonbinary people is absolutely included in being bi, I'm just tired of being told my identity is biphobic or unnecessary. lil vent post yk?

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Anonymous OP 1w

Youre all good no worries, no one should be disrespecting you like that

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Anonymous #2 1w

bi is attraction to two or more genders with or without preference and pan is attraction to all genders without preference. I consider pan to be under the bi umbrella but calling them the same exact thing is the same as calling being trans and being nonbinary the same exact thing. there is a difference and it's a valid one like how there's a valid difference between rectangles and squares

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Anonymous OP 1w

So you can’t be pansexual if you aren’t attracted to cis men? Sorry the one pansexual person I have met explained their sexuality to me as anyone but cis men but that doesn’t fit your definition of pansexual so do people just have different definitions based on personal experience?

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Anonymous #2 1w

pan means all in latin so the definition of pansexual is sexual attraction to all genders without preference. many people have a preference but still identify as pan, I won't say that isn't valid bc it's their identity and they can describe it however they see fit. I attribute it to no one ever talking about omnisexuality which is defined as sexual attraction to all genders with a preference

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Anonymous #2 1w

saying anyone than cis men feels a little icky to me bc does that mean they don't see trans men as men? but also I view a mental preference (like saying "I don't like how people of this group act so I don't want to be with any of them") as different from not feeling any sexual attraction for that group whatsoever. I personally identify as pan and even though I'm attracted to men it's very unlikely I'd go for one. when I say preference in the context of sexuality I'm more so referring to being

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Anonymous OP 1w

more attracted to one gender than another, not to preferences based on experience.

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Anonymous OP 1w

With this person I have always debated whether she sees trans men as men bc she also will only top them and some of the things she said about trans men I side eyed. She is a trans woman who says she’s pansexual for everyone but cis men and really prides herself on how she has never been with a cis man and how she finds cis men to be unattractive. (She also would brag about how many trans men she could “bang”). It seems like this doesn’t fit the all that is needed to be pansexual

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Anonymous #2 1w

I'll never say someone is wrong about their own identity, but your friend seems problematic and I hope the trans men she's been with find people that actually view them as men

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Anonymous OP 1w

it seems like she doesn't want to get with cis men bc she doesn't want to be treated the way she treats trans men, but idk bc I don't know her

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Anonymous OP 1w

That’s definitely it, I no longer speak to her bc she did do multiple things to me without my consent. Shes just the only person I have met who identifies as pan and was curious if her definition of pan matched to other definitions

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Anonymous #2 1w

ah okay. I don't personally agree with her definition, but it seems like there's a lot I would disagree with her about. I identify as pan and I'm attracted to all genders, including cis men, but that also doesn't mean that I'll act on that attraction. I feel the same attraction for all genders, but I have preferences but those preferences don't impact attraction. it's moreso social / personality preferences for me if that makes sense. I don't speak for all pan people tho

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Anonymous #2 1w

also, very sorry you went through that. I hope you heal and I hope she got her shit rocked for doing things without consent

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Anonymous OP 1w

Last I heard she was in a loving relationship and I’m doing better just working through everything in therapy but that’s life

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Anonymous #2 1w

we love therapy and I hope you also find a loving relationship with someone who understands boundaries and consent 🫶 (if you want that, idk if you're aroace but if you are I hope people leave you alone and you find the bestest friendships ever)

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