LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | Btw degendering someone is just as bad as misgendering them

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LGBTQIA+ 7w

Btw degendering someone is just as bad as misgendering them

Anonymous 7w

because degendering *is* misgendering

Anonymous 7w

please degender me please if anyone doesn’t like being degendered pass it on to me please i

Anonymous 7w

Agreed, i know some people who will they/them anyone who they think is trans even if they tell them what their pronouns are and it really pisses me off, whenever i (patiently and politely) try to explain to them that this is another way of disrespecting someone they just never seem to get it

Anonymous 7w

Wait so if degendering someone is purposefully selecting improper pronouns, doesn’t that make misgendering literally just an accident? Which means why be upset at misgendering when it’s just that, an accident?

Anonymous

#2 7w

so what you want is to be gendered correctly. not degendered.

Anonymous

#5 7w

both misgendering and degendering can be accidental or intentional, depending on context. either way, people are allowed to be upset about being referred to incorrectly.

Anonymous

#7 7w

Okay but hear me out. Suppose someone goes by they/them pronouns. But the thing about “looking NB” is that it can also pass as male presenting or Masc in someway. Someone assumes pronouns are He/him just off of appearance. However, if someone refers to people as They/them by default rather than choosing he or she, people get mad anyway 😭 I typically call people They/them by default regardless of sexuality until corrected otherwise.

Anonymous

#5 6w

the people that get mad at they/them default before correction are a very small minority that everyone else thinks is dramatic generally. the issue is when you are explicitly told someone's pronouns and gender and continue to actively use gender neutral language

-1

Anonymous

#7 6w

no i explicitly want people to disregard gender entirely when interacting with me

Anonymous 6w

no, if they’re agender (or prefer gender neutral language) then i’m right. being referred to gender neutrally is being gendered correctly.

Anonymous

#7 6w

no matter how you define degendering, i assure you that is what i want. there is no such thing as gendering me correctly.

-1

Anonymous 6w

degendering is a transphobic and often racist phenomenon. treating it flippantly is disrespectful toward those in your community for whom it is an expression of bigotry. if your preference is for gender neutral language/omission of gendered language when referring to you, that is a preference for being gendered correctly—not being degendered. this term relates to a specific phenomenon.

Anonymous 6w

joking about transphobia *is* flippant and insensitive. you’re making a lot of assumptions about me. i am nonbinary. i am just able to separate the concept of transphobic degendering from a personal preference for neutral language.

Anonymous

#1 6w

it would be transphobic to degender other people, but not if its at me. the act itself is neutral. whether its bad or not entirely depends on who is doing it and to whom.