Anonymous #3 2w

So what exactly is “raised as a girl”

4

Anonymous #3 2w

I think that’s a slippery slope to “afab only” I get where you’re coming from, but unless you are screening every person trying to join that space, there’s no real way of enforcing that, and you get the same issues as “afab only”

31

Anonymous #4 2w

I agree, i dont think there is a real reason to "vet" people in these situations (nor is there an ethical way to do so). But if someone was, for example, talking about their own experiences being raised as a girl, and they ask that only people who were socialized as a girl respond to the discussion, I think that would be a reasonable thing to ask. But it gets iffy, especially if they were to ask that only afab people respond instead

3

Anonymous OP 2w

like someone who was socialized as a woman from a young age. There are definitely very specific and unique experiences that come from that kind of social conditioning

5

Anonymous #3 2w

Name them.

-1

Anonymous OP 2w

okay, im not trying to start an argument. and like I said, this ISNT the same as saying "only afab spaces." but if you would like examples: Being taught to like "girly" things, being taught that your future is being a woman with a husband and probably having a child, all your complements being about your looks and stuff. Also im sure youve heard "__neurodivergence presents differently in girls." Unless you believe thats a biological thing, thats due to being "raised as a girl."

25

Anonymous #3 2w

I understand that experience but I don’t think we need seperate spaces to discuss it. Like are you going to grill people on wether they were raised as women or not before letting them in

2

Anonymous OP 2w

Listen i agree that afab only spaces are BS but people who are raised as women are raised with unique experiences than people who are raised and viewed as male by society. I fear the patriarchy ensures that those who are seen as women are intrinsically raised differently and uniquely to those who arent.

19

Anonymous #5 2w

Let’s say hypothetically you start a “raised as girl only” space. How do you decide which of these two people are allowed in. Neither of them want to tell you their assigned sex at birth

5

Anonymous #5 2w

Ok so early transition trans women are allowed? And early transition trans men aren’t.

-1

Anonymous OP 2w

? Idk where youre getting these things from I never argued either of them. I never even argued a “raised as a girl” space is a good idea bc IMHO it isnt. But its disingenuous to suggest people who society view as women and men arent raised differently and given unique experiences.

5

Anonymous #5 2w

You’re arguing under the comment of someone saying we need spaces for people raised as girls. Agreeing with them. God forbid I assume you agree with the person you’re agreeing with

-4

Anonymous #3 2w

Wich of these people is allowed in the space for people raised as a girl. Neither will tell you their sex at birth. How do you make sure one of them was raised as a girl

0

Anonymous OP 2w

No, i wasn’t agreeing with them. I was reading the comment thread and saw you say something i thought was incorrect. Interjecting =\= agreeing

4

Anonymous OP 2w

Like I said in my comment to #4, I dont think theres an ethical way to "vet" stuff like that (and its a little strange to want to do that anyways). If they both want to be in that hypothetical community, let them. If one is clearly there for reasons other than discussing their experiences (like ragebait or being a creep or something), then obv kick them out.

10

Anonymous OP 2w

Quote me exactly where i said “i agree with this person” because i literally never said it 💀

5

Anonymous #3 2w

I’m a trans guy, and I was raised as a girl for the first 14 years of my life (I’ll be 22 in a few weeks) and I do not want to be defined by those 14 years of my life when the following 8 more clearly reflect who I am. I also just don’t want to be “included” in a group that is realistically going to be 99% cis women, cause I’m a man, and would feel really out of place

9

Anonymous #4 2w

No literally this like why would I want to be defined as the years that I lived pretending to be someone I’m not. Hell, I wouldn’t have any good input. I was never catcalled, never sexualised, I was a weird autistic bullied kid raised as an autistic weird kid.

5

Anonymous #4 2w

thats totally fair, and im assuming these conversations do exist in both womens spaces (that usually cater towards cis women) and transmasc spaces. I dont think we actually need some separate space called "growing up as a girl" communty or anything really. moreso that these similar conversations in two different communities could probably have a really productive conversation if they were to share with eachother.

1

Anonymous #3 2w

asking people to step back from a discussion if it’s not relevant to them, yes. telling them to leave spaces (which requires first somehow figuring out who they are!), no.

21

Anonymous #6 2w

I agree, and I probably couldve worded my comment better to reflect that

1