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LGBTQIA+ 17h
How do we feel about the split attraction model? Can you like a gender romantically but not sexually and can you like a gender sexually but not romantically?
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11
upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

Yes, you can

upvote 31 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

If you believe in asexual people and that they can be in a loving relationship with someone you kinda have to believe in it. Unless you ignore the ace spectrum and fully believe every ace person is also aro

upvote 15 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

Nothing wrong with it because that’s just how some people are. You can’t really control it

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

it can helpful for some people, esp on the ace/aro spectrum, but i’ve also seen people use it to rationalize internalized queerphobia so for a small group of people it can be harmful

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

Oh this sounds complicated. I really hope that won’t be how my brain decides to brain

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

Yes.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 16h

In what way? like they’re scared of the repercussions of dating who they like, so say they can’t have romantic relationships with them?

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15h

yes, sometimes in that way [bc of internalized queerphobia they aren’t able to view someone of the same-sex as a romantic possibility] also sometimes the inverse [believing that same-sex love is “pure” as a coping mechanism bc of messaging around same-sex attraction as perverted or inherently sexual (often this is informed by religious background) so they’re not able to view same-sex partners as sexually attractive/available (have to unlearn internalized queerphobia + purity culture for ex)].

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15h

there are a couple of different ways it can manifest tbh and tbc i don’t think the split attraction model as a whole is harmful, it can be very useful for a lot of people, just adding some nuance.

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 5h

this is important nuance; I’d like to add, though, that varioriented non-aspec people are a thing & their attraction is valid. clarifying since some people might read this as “varioriented people inherently have internalized queerphobia,” as I’ve seen several people claim

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 5h

now imagine having to deal with the secret 4th/5th options (sensual/alterous attraction)

upvote 4 downvote