Anonymous OP 1d

After talking to some people I think I’m just gonna do this, the pros greatly outweigh the cons for me

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Anonymous #1 1d

Why not

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Anonymous OP 1d

That feels deceptive to me, and the truth is going to come out sooner or later so you may as well just say it at the start

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Anonymous #1 1d

If it’s just a short fling idk what the issue would be, and if I could finally get with someone my type, I’d be ok with detransitioning for it ngl. Like the “truth” just wouldn’t ever come out The reason I don’t say it from the start is because nobody wants me after they hear I go by they them instead of she her, that’s what this post is about

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Anonymous OP 21h

Tbh you need to realize that this could get you killed. Its unsafe for you.

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Anonymous #4 20h

It wouldn’t because I’d just detransition?

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Anonymous #3 20h

I’d be fine being viewed as a woman as long as the language being used during sex doesn’t reflect that tbh. Many cis women don’t like that either so it wouldn’t be super weird to suggest, I’ve already been looking for bi people but there’s barely any and the ones that exist are just looking for cis men or women so

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Anonymous OP 20h

I’d rather just lean more into my feminine side and try to be something I feel like I can’t be (even if I wanted to, which I sometimes do) instead of continuing to wait around losing hope I’ll ever find anything

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Anonymous OP 19h

if you’re really planning on doing this, you shouldn’t stay in contact with these people for long or try turning it into a relationship or becoming friends/fwb. it can be life-threatening if they find out, especially after having some level of intimacy, so do what you can to stay safe if you follow through.

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Anonymous #3 19h

I mean it’s already life threatening being openly nonbinary in this world, I guess I just don’t understand why choosing to live as a cis woman just so I can have a fling would get me killed

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Anonymous OP 19h

trans people are extremely vulnerable to intimate partner violence (IPT), and many of the most extreme cases of violence against us comes from IPT

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Anonymous #3 19h

But I wouldn’t be trans anymore

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Anonymous OP 19h

Like I know what you mean but it’s just hard to understand why I’d be in danger if I just stop using they/them pronouns, I already pass as a woman

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Anonymous OP 17h

but you ARE trans, and if you have anything that can identify you as trans then you’d potentially be put into severe and sudden danger. having a chosen name that isn’t your legal, having friends who you’re out to slip up and call you by your pronouns around him, even just something you say that makes him think you might be trans. all of this can endanger you, which is why you should be safe and not keep your flings around for long or try starting a relationship with them.

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Anonymous OP 17h

also if you get into a relationship with someone who sees you as a woman when you’re not a woman, you’ll end up being miserable. I did what you’re wanting to try for my first relationship and it was horrible. don’t do that to yourself. don’t get into a long-term relationship while hiding your real gender.

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Anonymous OP 17h

Why do you feel the need to detransition be be loved?

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Anonymous #3 17h

Fair point, I’m not looking for any long term commitment right now though. When I’m actually ready to try to find someone to settle down with, I’ll probably be in a much larger city or a more progressive area that would make it more likely for me to find someone into nonbinary people who was also my type

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Anonymous #4 17h

My post and comments explain it, but in short, it’s because the kinds of people I’m into aren’t into nonbinary people, maybe some of them exist but they’re sure as hell not here

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Anonymous OP 17h

ok, I trust that you know the danger and that you’ll stay safe. let us know if you have any success, since we want you to be safe and we’re happy to share in your happiness :)

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Anonymous #4 13h

how would this get them killed?

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Anonymous #3 13h

Thanks for the input and support, I’m a very cautious person when it comes to dating so I would only get into something if I know I’d feel comfortable with it, even if it’s not 100% ideal 🙇

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Anonymous #5 12h

see explanation below about intimate partner violence, or look into studies about it and how trans people are especially vulnerable to it

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