LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | Decided to try hinge. Made it with a friend. I struggled with pronouns and what to put identity wise. I’ve put cishet woman, but in my personal life I’m closer to transmasc, and aromantic. I’m feeling conflicted, would not being cis hinder my chances?

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LGBTQIA+ 1d

Decided to try hinge. Made it with a friend. I struggled with pronouns and what to put identity wise. I’ve put cishet woman, but in my personal life I’m closer to transmasc, and aromantic. I’m feeling conflicted, would not being cis hinder my chances?

Anonymous 1d

There’s not really any winning when it comes to this situation on dating apps. I’d say, make a profile that you think feels like “you” and go from there

Anonymous 1d

I fully believe that if they’re scared away by that then they wouldn’t work well as a partner anyways (unless you’re just looking for hookups/flings)

Anonymous 1d

its ok to try one way for a bit and try the other later, but don’t give up before you even start!

Anonymous 1d

She told me I should go she/her because the demographic I’m going for is Asian guys (I’m Asian) and did I really want to get a different sort of demographic? I decided to do what she said but I don’t know if it feels like I’m deceiving them, would it be better to be truthful upfront or later?

Anonymous

OP 23h

you are going to end up with at best the same number, and at worst, fewer, matches by misrepresenting yourself. you can say you are a cis-woman, which it sounds like you are not, and risk them ending things with you bc either they are attracted to women or because you misrepresented your identity. or you say you are transmasc out of the gates and eliminate people who are not chill with trans people (best to get rid of those early) or are not interested in masc-presenting people

Anonymous

#4 22h

getting rid of transphobes/people only attracted to feminine people off the bat will leave people who are actually attracted to you and not someone you are not

Anonymous

#4 22h

you are going for quality, not quantity

Anonymous

#4 19h

… you have a point, I’m just unsure since I look feminine. I don’t exactly have the skills or resources to look masculine right now (I dress like a butch lesbian). So it’s hard in that my friend was saying “let’s be so fr tho, you look like a woman. Shouldn’t you just make it easier for yourself?”

Anonymous

OP 19h

Like, I don’t feel like I look masculine enough to put the transmasc label on, but don’t feel feminine enough to feel comfortable with the woman label. I’d put nonbinary or genderfluid but that makes it complicated…

Anonymous

OP 19h

Don’t listen to her if you’re looking for a relationship. If you’re just looking for a hookup, with no emotional attachments, that advice makes some sense