LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | this is why i can only date someone that actually wants to end up in a same sex marriage, getting treated like someones hedonistic porn fantasy before retreating back to a “socially acceptable” lifestyle feels so dehumanizing

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LGBTQIA+ 6d

this is why i can only date someone that actually wants to end up in a same sex marriage, getting treated like someones hedonistic porn fantasy before retreating back to a “socially acceptable” lifestyle feels so dehumanizing

LGBTQIA+ 6d

I’m a bi guy, but I feel like my “gay” side is way more perverted and hypersexual than my “straight” side. My “straight” side just wants a nice girl to date and marry. My “gay” side wants to get ran through and fantasizes about being gangbanged

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Anonymous 6d

that post made me wince too & he obvs needs to do some introspection around it. but tbf the most mainstream version of gay male culture *is* hypersexual (both for better & for worse), whereas there isn’t exactly a lot of room in hetero spaces for men to explore an interest in bottoming for several people at once so of course he associates those interests with his “gay side”, and him having fantasies like that about men but not women doesn’t necessarily mean he’s reducing gay men to sex objects

Anonymous 6d

Literally and like I have been called biphobic for saying I didn’t want to engage in casual sex (the girl only wanted to date men but would sleep with men and women)

Anonymous 6d

It’s possible to be only sexually attracted to one gender, and romantically + sexually attracted to another. Maybe he just doesn’t want to date guys, and is only attracted to them sexually. That’s not a bad thing. It would potentially pose an issue if he wasn’t communicating that to the other guy though. As long as he is communicating that he only wants a sexual relationship with the guy he is currently fucking, and doesn’t lead him on, then I don’t see an issue with this. Sexuality’s a spectrum

Anonymous

#1 6d

No and OP literally put this in the least biphobic way (from a bi person). They’re not against dating bi people, they’re against dating people who don’t see them as a serious long term option.

Anonymous

#4 5d

yeah it’s just more that the way he phrased it doesn’t come off as very introspective

Anonymous

#5 5d

How? If he is actually asking about it, and recognizing that he feels confused due to his differentiating emotions towards gender, then how is he not being introspective? No hate, just genuinely curious.

Anonymous

#4 5d

Honestly my biggest problem was the phrasing of the whole thing. Like it comes across as fetishizing and that needs to be acknowledged

Anonymous

#1 5d

Yeah, if he had said he has a preference for one group romantically vs sexually that would be one thing, but he referenced being gangbanged as his ‘gay’ side and that’s fetishized phrasing.

Anonymous

#3 5d

That’s a good point. See, this is why I like having real conversations because it kinda helps open my perspective. I didn’t even see what he was saying as fetishization. But now that I’m looking at his post again, I can def see how that might be a message he is sending, unintentionally or not

Anonymous

#4 5d

He also says “perverted” to describe his gay side and a nice marriage to a girl with his straight side and I feel it pushes the narrative that gay is perverted whether intended or not

Anonymous

#1 5d

Damn that’s a good point. Now his post feels icky to me, just a tad 🤏 Idk wh, but I didn’t even pick up on that. I was just like automatically trying to support the way he feels, as a fellow queer person. So much so that I may have overlooked that