LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I hate when people try to tell me that my sexuality is fluid. My attraction to men isn’t fluid, it was comp het. Telling me “your sexuality is fluid” is no different to me than my mom saying you haven’t found the right man yet

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LGBTQIA+ 5w

I hate when people try to tell me that my sexuality is fluid. My attraction to men isn’t fluid, it was comp het. Telling me “your sexuality is fluid” is no different to me than my mom saying you haven’t found the right man yet

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Anonymous 5w

It’s always so odd to me when someone tries to tell another what their sexuality is. Like it’s one thing is someone is confused and the person is shooting out ideas to maybe help someone find a fitting label, but that’s only really okay with consent of the other party. Like it’s just so odd that people are so comfortable telling people they have to be or are a certain sexuality 😖

Anonymous 5w

Also the mfs saying this have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the phrase even means. *Sexuality* is fluid as a concept because it’s rooted in personal identity, which changes constantly. In general use, SOME people experience big changes in their sexual orientation and that’s fine, that happens to some people 👍 other people DONT experience that and that’s fine, they’re not in denial or anything. Neeeeeed people to understand what they’re saying before they say it

Anonymous 5w

Like when people try to say sexuality is fluid to me it’s always when I’m talking about how much happiness being a lesbian has brought me and how I finally don’t hate myself, then some queer person will say something like, “don’t rule out all men, sexuality is fluid” and it’s just like I was just talking about how I no longer want to die all the time anymore and how much self love the lesbian label and identity has brought me, it’s just so disrespectful

Anonymous 5w

Sexuality is fluid to some, like me, but it doesn’t apply to everybody and that’s okay. Don’t let people try to tell you what you are.

Anonymous 5w

My sexuality is fluid. Some days I have like.. 0 draw to sexual things with dudes, sometimes it sounds nice as an aside or a curio. I’m probably bi. Women tend to always be appealing. But maybe I’m also demi or ace. Idk.

Anonymous 5w

MY sexuality IS sort of fluid in the sense that my attraction to different genders fluctuates, but I’m always bisexual. But I never tell people this because I already get the “you’ll just end up lesbian/straight” enough to piss me off. Telling someone else stuff about their sexuality is just dumb af, how do you know them better than they do?? (You don’t!)

Anonymous 5w

its in the same way that gender is fluid. if gender identity is on a spectrum then sexuality, which directly relates to gender identity, is also fluid. but not everyones is. if a cis woman doesnt have a fluid identity then a lesbian dont have to either

Anonymous

#1 5w

Oh I know, there is just a problem in the queer community where lesbians are constantly disrespected bc of their sexuality. I have had so many people tell me I’m wrong about my own sexuality (mainly queer people) and I want to bring up about how this idea that sexuality is fluid for everyone is incredibly harmful

Anonymous

OP 5w

Oh yeah I was trying to agree with you LOL

Anonymous

#2 5w

Oh I have been told that I’m not really a lesbian bc I have dated trans women, like I have had a few bi women try to tell me that me being attracted to trans women made me bisexual. I have also had people tell me that the fact that I used to date men makes me bisexual (I have spent so much time thinking about this and I was dating men to make my mom happy). I think it is people who don’t feel queer enough so they have to put others down

Anonymous

OP 5w

OHHH MY GOD THIS PISSES ME OFF

Anonymous

#3 5w

Oh I have been told I’m a bisexual in denial so many times and I’m like funny

Anonymous

OP 5w

WHY ARE TRANS WOMEN NOT WOMEN HUH? TFFFF??? IN OUR OWN COMMUNITY??? This is why I hate gay people oh my gawd. sorry imma trans guy so this fr just got me mad 🤣 I hate how people in our own community are so anti trans in this way. They never think about how that invalidates the existence of trans women and trans men when they say that. Girl fuck those bitches and I hope you say it to their face next time “fuck you transphobic bitch asshoes, you don’t even know the definition of lesbian”

Anonymous

#2 5w

Oh I have said it was transphobic, I’m a lesbian with a trans man best friend and one of them even told me I was repeating terf rhetoric for calling her transphobic, because something about how there is no difference between me having sex with a trans woman and her pegging her CIS “femboy” boyfriend

Anonymous

OP 5w

girl same, and i actually ended up being bisexual but that shit definitely set my self-acceptance back a solid couple of years

Anonymous

#3 5w

In your experience as a bisexual do you feel like dirty and feel like you need to need to self harm after being with men? Like I have just had people be like no, that is attraction and I’m like but I don’t feel that way when I sleep with women. And it’s just honestly really confusing to me, but maybe bisexual people do feel this way

Anonymous

OP 5w

Oh my god no i do not feel like that 😟 that is…no that’s not attraction some people are either full of shit or need to take a real hard look at who they think they are

Anonymous

#3 5w

Based on who has said that to me, it has always been someone who thinks that me being a lesbian is invalidating to their queerness

Anonymous

OP 5w

Yet nobody says this sort of shit to straight men… That sucks OP. Is it usually from men?

Anonymous

#5 5w

No it’s normally from queer women actually