LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | This gold star shit needs to stop. It’s invalidating to other people’s experiences and suggests that many lesbians are less real and it’s just another way to police women’s sexuality the same way the patriarchy does by putting a title on it.

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LGBTQIA+ 5w

This gold star shit needs to stop. It’s invalidating to other people’s experiences and suggests that many lesbians are less real and it’s just another way to police women’s sexuality the same way the patriarchy does by putting a title on it.

Anonymous 5w

Gay men need to cut it out too with the c section gays are better bc they never touched a vagina shit. It is a genuinely funny joke, but I don’t think you people are joking anymore

Anonymous 5w

Every single gold star lesbian I have met has been normal about it, and don’t bring it up unless asked. I’m a lesbian who was with men before and i personally don’t find it invalidating unless when it is used to say I’m really bisexual and not a lesbian (which is something a lesbian has never said to me). Is them saying that they have never been with a man invalidating to you (I’m trying to better understand what you are saying)

Anonymous

#1 5w

NO LITERALLY like it’s funny the first time but like they don’t get to control that so invalidate them over it 😭😭

Anonymous

#2 5w

The idea behind the label is to establish a purity hierarchy, with lesbians who have never been with men being at the top and women having been with men being “less pure”. We live in a heteronormative society where some lesbians feel pressured to date men before they realize they’re gay, and the label can make them feel like they aren’t lesbian enough.

Anonymous

#1 5w

“Platinum star gay” who comes up w this 😭

Anonymous

#2 5w

Yeah real, of course theres ppl that suck, but majority of the people the term applies to don’t make it some superiority thing, because it shouldn’t be, I’ve heard people say they’re more upset at the “concept” than the term itself, whatever that means

Anonymous

OP 5w

I have never looked at it that way. Honestly to me it was described as women who have only been with women (trans women included) and I know it can be used in a transphobic manner and that is absolutely a problem. I think 98% of people who are gold star lesbians primarily use it to describe their experiences and they should be allowed to do that

Anonymous

#2 5w

I just think there’s much better ways to communicate your experience than terms associated with hierarchy like “gold star”. It’s also used to hurt bisexual people to invalidate their queerness on top of trans people and protect transphobic ideals. Gold star came from “being the best”. It’s not really reclaimable either because the people it’s used to hurt can never use it

Anonymous

#2 5w

Yes their experiences are valid the issue is the concept of the term. The concept suggests that there are right and wrong ways for women to have relationships (in this case lesbians having been with men) virginity in itself suggests that women lose value when they have been with men, and the gold star concept reinforces the exact same thing, putting lesbians who have never been with men on a higher pedestal. That’s the problem with it

Anonymous

#3 5w

Chat thats the term for the c-section thing im not condoning the term, Im making fun of how ridiculous it is pls 💀