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Closeted gay men or DL men should never date women. Period. Full stop.
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Anonymous 2w

I mean, they shouldn't have to, but unfortunately part of being closeted in a place where being gay is not acceptable is trying to blend in

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Anonymous 2w

this just in: beards are apparently no longer a thing

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous 2w

Some DL Men are bi btw

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

This is true, but it’s still wrong to lie to and manipulate someone just to blend in. It’s different if it’s a lavender relationship, or otherwise consensual

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

it is easy to judge from the outside and I think the morality should be talked about- but this kind of arrangement is oftentimes coerced- as in, men will lose their communities and means of survival if they are out or fail to meet certain social expectations like having a wife and family

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 2w

I guess I feel like it is more useful to address the homophobia that compels men to be in this situation rather than to shame them for the messiness of survival

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 2w

I definitely agree that the most useful/important thing is to address the homophobia, but the nuance is that harmful systems (heterosexism/homophobia) lead people to do bad things. That doesn’t make the action itself not bad. Women are people, too, with feelings, too. Knowingly causing harm to someone is wrong, even if you’re doing it to avoid harm or judgement from others. That’s why I said before that consent and communication is the ethical way to do this

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 2w

Dare I say most of them

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 2w

I’m not talking about the ones that are Bi, I’m talking about the DL men that are gay and only attracted to men but date and deceive women as a cover up which is very disrespectful on their end and gives these women false hope.

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 2w

It’s not showing me your comment for some reason but yeah in that case I agree but you should have been specific. DL men also lead on Gay men and it’s just unfair to everyone

upvote 1 downvote