
it is easy to judge from the outside and I think the morality should be talked about- but this kind of arrangement is oftentimes coerced- as in, men will lose their communities and means of survival if they are out or fail to meet certain social expectations like having a wife and family
I definitely agree that the most useful/important thing is to address the homophobia, but the nuance is that harmful systems (heterosexism/homophobia) lead people to do bad things. That doesn’t make the action itself not bad. Women are people, too, with feelings, too. Knowingly causing harm to someone is wrong, even if you’re doing it to avoid harm or judgement from others. That’s why I said before that consent and communication is the ethical way to do this