Anonymous #1 22h

It is not in the definition of incel for the people who identify as such to blame anybody else… some people just can’t get laid

1

Anonymous OP 21h

its "involuntary celibate", the fact that its not their choice is in the name? and theres a difference between being too busy w/ work, living somewhere remote, etc, whatever and being an incel; part of the definition is holding resentment toward others about it?

1

Anonymous #1 20h

You don’t have to hold resentment about it. It’s involuntary, you’re not choosing for things to be this way. But you don’t HAVE to hate others or yourself because of it. Think about what’s really being said when someone says “”they can’t get laid”, for reasons outside my control or anyone else’s, no one wants me. That’s a reasonable conclusion to reach. Resentment after that point is not.

1

Anonymous #1 20h

“Typically” not foundationally or inherently

1

Anonymous OP 20h

ppl who arent fucking all the time are just called normal ppl. ppl who dont participate in hook-up culture or are busy or whatever are called normal ppl. someone choosing to call themselves an incel is choosing to associate themselves w/ a known far right, misogynistic, objectifying, violent, and racist subculture. they can say that they personally arent resentful, but if thats true then why associate themselves w/ that group? theyre either lying or wildly uninformed

1

Anonymous #1 20h

also what, theyre being impacted by the male loneliness epidemic? 1. isolation amongst young ppl seems to be a generational issue, likely tied to things like COVID, social media, and the "think of the children, stranger danger" messaging we've had since the reagan admin. 2. why self identify as being impacted by an epidemic? its an epidemic. be serious

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Some ppl want to participate in hookup culture and cant find success in it…and just be if umbrella term the label that way doesnt mean thats what it is. The real feeling all of those guys are feeling is undesirability and ppl handle that in different ways. Some ppl would rather a term that names the experience. Extend a little empathy to that. The far right misogynistic stuff is OBVIOUSLY bad but it’s not inherent to the label

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Men being more social with other men wont get them laid… it will however make them feel less lonely. Also this isn’t about man loneliness … its about incels… you cant get these guys laid by telling them that they can’t acknowledge that they’re not getting laid. They just have to deal with it.. and they can deal with it by naming the experience then living with it instead of being frustrated with yourself and others.. THATS the actual solution

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Also theres a difference between ppl that aren’t fucking and ppl who don’t have the opportunities to

1

Anonymous OP 20h

i can have empathy for loneliness and feeling insecure over unrealistic beauty standards, but again, there are words for that. if theyre old enough to fuck then they should be mature enough to just say theyre lonely or insecure. i dont have empathy for ppl who choose to use a term with famously hateful connotations. i dont care if somebody is at the kkk meeting bc they just love white robes; they know what impression theyre giving off and chose to be there

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Im not talking about feeling lonely and insecure… im talking about the experience of being UNDESIRABLE. Those ppl deserve the right to name their experience

1

Anonymous OP 20h

dude, take a minute for me and go look up benedict cumberbatch, and then look up rumplestiltskin from that tv show once upon a time or whatever. hell, go look up ariana grandes most recent bf. none of those guys look like they should be desirable, and yet tons of women on the internet have called them all hot. feeling undesirable is another way to say feeling insecure and lonely bc nobody seems to want to fuck you

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Actors are not undesirable… and if someones relative experience is being undesirable THATS A FACTUAL EXPERIENCE… no body wants them. If nobody wants to fuck/date you… then you are undesirable in the PRACTICAL use of the word. Pay attention to the word practical practical practical practical practical

0

Anonymous #1 20h

they can name their experience, but if they dont want to be thought of as being part of a hateful group then they should come up w/ a name that isnt associated w/ a hateful group. if someone self-identifies as an incel, women will def not want to fuck them bc incels have famously been hateful and legitimately dangerous to women. at that point, its not even involuntary anymore, its just walking around w/ a neon sign that says "im an asshole, dont fuck me"

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Using the word maybe a turn off to some ppl but nobody wants fuck them anyway…. Not using the term isnt gonna get them laid magically

0

Anonymous OP 20h

man ive tried to explain this to you but youre either rage-baiting or they let you graduate middle school too soon. you can continue on the path youre on, but until you grow tf up, take some agency in your own life, and acknowledge the reality of how words work? then you'll keep getting answer you dont like. hope youre able to figure it out soon

1

Anonymous #1 20h

The fact that you wont understand what ive tried to explain to you shows your immaturity and empathy … taking agency of ones own life REQUIRES UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE. If your not getting laid but you want to get laid there is a word for it. Naming it IS agency

0