
ur not alone, it’s crazy how many people feel like this. my stepdad committed two years ago and our family never was the same. my little brother (it was his bio dad) barely talks anymore. my mom hoards his stuff. i’ve finally started talking about it in therapy. this isn’t meant to be a guilt trippy comment, i hate when people do that. i just never actually understood how suicide affected people from the reverse side, until it happened to me.
anyways, that being said, please look into therapy. i really struggle with what u were talking about too, and therapy has helped sooo much. that and just getting myself out of the house and making myself see things. like hiking, meeting up with a friend, trying a new restaurant, going to a museum. i still struggle with thinking about it, but it’s a lot less frequent and ik what to do now when it’s on my mind.