Hot Takes on Sidechat | Lying about any part of your general appearance is wrong. If you’re willing to lie to me about something that easy to disprove what else are you willing to lie about?

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Hot Takes 21h

Lying about any part of your general appearance is wrong. If you’re willing to lie to me about something that easy to disprove what else are you willing to lie about?

Hot Takes 23h

Yall, obese women know they’re obese and still cat fish guys anyways. That’s dishonest and wrong.

Anonymous 14h

My hot take about this hot take is: What the fuck lol. Weight is a sensitive topic for a lot of people. Everyone edits photos to some degree, including models and influencers. It can definitely be jarring if someone looks very different in person, but acting like photo editing is some massive character flaw is wild. There are more important things to judge someone’s character by than their weight

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Anonymous

#1 14h

My addition was to say that lying in general about your appearance is bad not just weight. I’m not OOP. Well, yes, everyone uses photo editing to a degree to look better on social media nowadays there is a difference between smoothing something out and straight up shrinking yourself to the point that it cannot be described as an accurate photo.

Anonymous

#1 14h

And again the point I’m trying to make is that if you are willing to lie to me about something that I am going to find the truth about the second I meet you face-to-face, what else are you willing to lie to me about? Your character? Your job? Your values? It’s starting a relationship with a lie and I don’t find that to be a strong foundation.

Anonymous

OP 13h

That’s a huge leap. People aren’t always consistent like that. Someone might edit a photo because they’re insecure about their body while still being honest about virtually everything else. I see what you *could* be saying. And honesty is important. Starting something with honesty is always great. But assuming someone is lying about everything just bc they edit a photo is. Something else lol

Anonymous

#1 13h

There’s a pretty big difference between “this would make me question trust” and “this means they’ll probably lie about their values, job, character, and everything else” one is reasonable. And one is a huge reach

Anonymous

#1 13h

Again, I don’t care about light edits, but if your photo looks nothing like you in real life that’s not insecurity, that’s deceit. If you’re going to lie about something as noticeable as appearance to that degree that’s a sign of other lies can be there. People lie about their jobs if they feel insecure, same with age. That still doesn’t make it okay to catfish someone.

Anonymous

OP 12h

Following the argument you made: someone lies about their weight. Therefore they might lie about their job. Okay. They lie about their job. So they might lie about their age. Okay. They lie about their age. So they could lie about their values. Okay. Eventually we arrive at: anyone who has lied about anything potentially lies about everything. Which is the same as saying anyone that has ever tripped might someday fall down stairs. That is not a reliable predictor

Anonymous

#1 12h

You’re taking this too general. This is clearly about online dating, apps or otherwise. What people do to make themselves feel better about themselves I don’t care as long as other people aren’t involved in that. If you are doing online dating and lying about something as basic as your appearance like that you’re starting that relationship on a lie as I’ve said before and that’s not a strong foundation.

Anonymous

OP 12h

Okay. Let’s approach it this way. What would be a dealbreaker for you? 1) someone gains weight or is shorter than you expected. Or 2) this person can’t communicate effectively with you or isn’t emotionally available

Anonymous

#1 12h

Both. Because I need someone who is confident enough to be honest with me from day one as well as emotionally available and communicative. Again, I am not talking about a slight difference in weight or a couple of inches in height. If they don’t look ANYTHING like their picture that’s a dealbreaker because they’re not being honest with me from the start.

Anonymous

OP 12h

That’s different than your initial argument. Your initial argument was “what else are they lying about” if they don’t look exactly like a photo. I don’t edit my photos but I look different in person. Photogenics are also a thing. Does that mean I’m lying about my entire life?

Anonymous

#1 12h

That is the initial argument I made. That is what I’ve been telling you this entire time. If you can’t be honest with me from jump, I can’t be sure you’ll be honest with me about anything. Photogenics is why I keep saying this is about huge clear differences, not slight changes due to a camera. If you want to keep taking this personally as you clearly are that’s your prerogative, but you’re not gonna change my mind or get me to say whatever it is you want me to say.