I wish he was like that be he couldn’t understand the concept of me not wanting to have sex everyday

41

Anonymous screamshare 8w

He is he just doesn’t know or understand himself yet. Hypersexuality can do that to you.

-16

Anonymous beestboy 8w

He doesn’t have any reason to be hypersexual he’s just an ass who wants to get his dick wet

33

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Idk why you’re being so aggressive about this. Are you feeling hurt he felt turned on in this moment of intimacy? Did he try to sleep with u during that moment?

-17

Anonymous beestboy 8w

Yes also getting hard when your partner talks about being beaten by their parents js disgusting

35

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Hey man different strokes different folks. Sorry that happened tho twin

-19

Anonymous beestboy 8w

Stop being an online therapist go touch grass

25

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Nah that’s literally My Job

-12

Comment Deleted

0

No way

-6

Thank you!

13

Anonymous #3 8w

No but I have a bad habit of saying “my boyfriend” or “my girlfriend” when talking about my exes 🎊

15

Anonymous screamshare 8w

I meant 💀

16

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Horror ✅ Genuinely WTF ✅ You left him 🎊

6

Anonymous #3 8w

YEAHHH I did and then he cried

1

Anonymous beestboy 8w

Once again bee comes with an absolutely horrific take

5

Anonymous #4 8w

Nothing horrific about having empathy

0

Anonymous #4 8w

THANK YOU j wasn’t mad he said it i was mad he brought it up like it was kinky

10

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Like I have gotten an inappropriate semi or worse many many times but never in a million years would I bring it up like it was hot or something. Thats fucked

10

Anonymous #4 8w

BC YOU HAVE A BRAIN

7

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Also btw, I am very sorry that you’ve had to deal with so many negative things, and I hope that things are looking up for you right now and have found a decent job and affordable place to live

13

Anonymous #4 8w

Agreed

4

Anonymous screamshare 8w

Good he cried when you left him

9

Sir yes sir

3

Anonymous screamshare 8w

I completely understand and think your reaction is totally normal. But I get beestboy too. Hypersexuality is real and it’s a maladaptive trauma response. I’ve sexualized extremely painful events in my life because it gave me a false sense of control over very painful situations. My brain rewrote it. Am I actually into being betrayed or abandoned, no. But if I can escape that intense pain and convince myself on some level that I deserved it or wanted it, I get intense brain chemicals alleviate

1

Anonymous #7 8w

That doesn’t mean that you’re wrong for feeling how you felt. People are complex, they have so many subconscious drivers. Most of us aren’t even aware of how an event can totally disorient us and we just think it’s who we are, it’s our personality, because we’ve identified with the wound. Your nervous system reacted one way, his reacted another. I don’t think that’s right or wrong, it’s just information that you can work with and help get to bottom of things or seek support.

1

Comment Deleted

0

I never excused the behavior. I didn’t say it was okay. I just provided context and understanding for why someone would respond that way. I understand and validate OPs experience just as much as I understand the point that beestboy was making. You’re applying empathy in one direction only.

5

I also really understand your point about his responsibility to heal. Relationships are complicated and messy, people unintentionally trigger and hurt people all the time. Healing is not linear. It’s not a destination. It’s a process and relationships CAN be just as much an important part of that process. You can go to therapy but until you have real experiences that rewire your nervous system and teach you safety in relationship you’ll likely fall into a lot of the same cycles you’ve talked thr

3

Anonymous #7 8w

I recognize that OP did not feel safe in that moment. He probably didn’t either, hence maladaptive coping mechanism. That’s not her fault, or his. Like I said it’s 100% his responsibility. But I think examining our own responses are just as important. Me feeling unsafe or unseen, doesn’t mean that I have to react in a way that reinforces the behavior, by shaming someone. We can communicate a boundary in love, we can say how something made us feel without turning the other person into a monster.

3

Anonymous #7 8w

Thank u gang idk why ppl were making it seem like I was saying something truly insane. I didn’t word it as well as u did but yeah. It takes two to tango fr and it’s easy to belittle and attack someone, much harder to understand them

1

Comment Deleted

0

Comment Deleted

0

Comment Deleted

0

Comment Deleted

0

Nobody said he shouldn’t be held accountable or that what he did was okay. All I did was give an explanation. Some people were abused as children and never learned to compartmentalize their emotions properly so they compute intimacy in a socially incorrect way. Not everyone processes trauma the same. It’s easy to demonize something you don’t understand and a lot harder to empathize with it.

1

Anonymous beestboy 8w

You wouldn’t see someone with cancer in a hospital acting like a turd and then be mad at them you’d understand that oh they’re in a fucked up situation so they’re just acting out in the only way they know how. The sooner we can all understand each other , the better. I was also under the impression that OP was still with them so I was giving suitable practical advice on how to move forward when dealing with someone like that. This way they can both communicate effectively

1

Anonymous beestboy 8w

At no point am I saying yea ops bf should do this again. I’m just bringing up ways to make sense and rationalize because this is human behavior. Everyone deserves to be understood, including OP, and including their (ex) partner.

1

Anonymous #4 8w

Thank you I really appreciate it! Im not quite there yet but its getting better

6

You are amazing thank tou

0

I think it’s weird to say we’re dulu while simultaneously inventing things that I did not say nor do they represent my views in anyway. To the contrary I clearly emphasized accountability. I never excused his behavior. I never said “he’s just a boy”. I never told you where to set your personal boundaries.

2

Every example you gave, I agree with you on, they’re terrible. Nobody is saying that you should tolerate any of those behaviors or you should stay in a harmful situation. I completely understand why this can be very a triggering topic as well.

3

However, what you resist persist, both on an individual level and as a society. “Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life”. Caring about victims (the ones that are easy for you to identify), means addressing the root causes of victimization. I’m not saying that this is the victims responsibility. But collectively, I don’t think we take enough responsibility and there’s a huge empathy deficit. We see these things as outside of ourselves. Somebody else is the problem.

4