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Hookup Horror Stories 8w
my ex was so bad at giving head. he would lick my vag canal and not my clit but his nose was so big that it would rub my clit and that’s how i would get off
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113
upvote 6829 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

im fucking dead

upvote 1349 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

If you turned around you could have gotten your butt rubbed too.

upvote 526 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Just... communicate with him??

upvote 317 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

And u didn’t tell him or anything?

upvote 79 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

did you ever tell him (genuine question) i wonder if he knewjjddhgdh

upvote 58 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

You know what they say about a guy with a big nose

upvote 54 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

deadass had a 35 year old dude do the exact same thing to me a couple months ago, mind u he had been married for a decade like bruh she didnt train u?????

upvote 52 downvote
🌯
Anonymous 8w

this is why we love big noses

upvote 48 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

THE CLIT IS A LIBERAL LIE. I BEN LUKIN FER THAT THANG SINCE 19SEBBNTY2

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upvote 36 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

“Communication is key”

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

I am so fucking sorry

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Find you a nerd. They know it’s as obvious as a boss’s weak point in any video game 😭

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Was he a jew by chance?

upvote 16 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

I gave head for the first time 2 days ago, for context, I graduated in a biology degree and know the anatomy of the vulva. Long story short I did it correctly by licking and eating the clit. The day after my bro who has had numerous girlfriends was telling me how to do it ‘correctly’ in his words “you gotta use your tongue in the hole and flick the clit with your finger” I said, “I don’t know man that doesn’t seem right” he was like, “trust”

upvote 15 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

i'm crying wtf

upvote 14 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

That’s incredibly rough… it’s not even that hard to find

upvote 14 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

It’s okay my ex would give me the worst head for 30 seconds and then ask “did you cum yet?” He also went soft doing it- gayest man alive

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

I’ve never even gotten off having sex

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

LMFWOOAOAOAOAOA

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

my ex never gave me head but i KNOW this is exactly how the scenario would go bc that dude stayed rubbing a lip when tryna DJ the clit

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Deadass how my first hookup went buddy did not take the hint. Lights were on but ig he wasn’t home

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

i’m 6’2 dw guys

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Top ten things I never needed to hear

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

wait i kinda like it when they put their tongue in..? idk my clit is too sensitive and these men just are too aggressive

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

wait cus fucking same

upvote 8 downvote
🌹
Anonymous 8w

THIS IS FUXKING HILARIOUS AND SO TEUE

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Wait that’s so funny my ex found the clit but would be staring into my soul lights on while holding my legs in a freaking frog position and would literally just lick it like ice cream. He looked like he was drowning and there was so much external unrelated stimulation plus his slow licks directly on my clit were so weak that I would just ask him to come up 💀

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Pinnochio ass

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 7w
post
upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

mine would lick the space between my thigh and cooch and really though he was doing something……….

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

jew

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

It’s really not that hard to find it tbh just basic anatomy

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

I’m sorry? First post I read 🫣

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

i’m crying 😭

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

this is why im gay

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Lowkey why do all men have to be pointed to where the clit is… like it’s every man I swear

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

bruh dead ass my ex somehow ended up making me bust out laughing bc it ended up tickling

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

CRAZY

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Bruh

upvote 1 downvote
🍺
Anonymous 8w

Same

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Wait what 😂

upvote 1 downvote
🗒️
Anonymous 8w

LMAOOOOO

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

I’m actually dying. Holy shit

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Oh okay

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Omg me tooooo

upvote 1 downvote
🚄
Anonymous 8w

my hb does the same thing

upvote 1 downvote
🐆
Anonymous 8w

Freakkkk I seee

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

SAME IT WAS HORRIBLE

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Lmao what

upvote 1 downvote
🏰
Anonymous 8w
post
upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Oh queen I love you

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

holy shit IMAO

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Sounds kinda fun

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Big noses save lives

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

i thought this was an original experience…

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

this guy I hu with would try and use his TEETH like just say you’re bad at giving head

upvote 1 downvote
🫢
Anonymous 8w

GAOAOAOAOOAOA

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Try w my good friend yuto

upvote 0 downvote
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Deleted 8w

Comment Deleted

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Tech us the technique baby

upvote -4 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

a win is a win

upvote -5 downvote
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Anonymous 7w

Are you the one writing "I 🫶 big noses" on every whiteboard twin you can be honest

upvote -5 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

Shi i need some lessons than can u teach me 👀

upvote -11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 8w

he was like ik my nose better then my dick

upvote 133 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #7 8w

his nose was the key

upvote 93 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

he was never that freaky :(

upvote 321 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 8w

i didn’t tell him that his nose would rub my clit but i’ve told him where the clit was and that he needed to come up more. he never did

upvote 99 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 8w

i tried but the nose felt good

upvote 22 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

i did. i would move his hand, tell him to come up more, i even showed him where the clit was WITH THE LIGHTS ON and he still wouldn’t get the right spot😭

upvote 794 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

so it was sheer incompetence on his end . . . my apologies 😔 something something you can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink

upvote 117 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 8w

pretty much. it’s okay bc the man i have now is a true muncher and leaves me unable to walk and keeps going after i finish (but i also do it to him)

upvote 105 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

#deserved

upvote 39 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

Their ex was gru

upvote 81 downvote
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Anonymous 8w

she showed him with the lights on 😭

upvote 168 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #13 8w

omg noooo😭😭 some men are just stupid

upvote 28 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 8w

op said she did try to tell him and literally showed him where the clit was with the lights on

upvote 28 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #13 8w

this makes me so disappointed

upvote 18 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

Nah I would’ve broke up with him after that cause why are you going back I know my body better than you the fuck???

upvote 276 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

Buddy poking your belly button like nah I think it’s here I’m positive

upvote 197 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I did something like what the OP described my first time giving head (and a few times after) and the girl(s) didn’t say a THING. I even asked how it was. I realized years later after I had learned about how often women lie about how much they enjoy sex with men and did a deep dive on how to give head from lesbians on the internet. I even read a book (Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski) I know what I’m doing now but I still can’t believe how many girls didn’t just tell me

upvote 216 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

Good on you. That’s the kind of incompetence you gotta worry about

upvote 49 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #22 8w

This is so hot that you did research that I’d wanna see how you do this 👀 don’t mind my horny brain just complimenting you

upvote 141 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #13 8w

How old are u lol

upvote -7 downvote
🫢
Anonymous replying to -> #27 8w

Dangggg i do find some pleasure thats crazyyy

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #24 8w

i’m with you on this one 👀

upvote 54 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #24 8w

lol… 😅 I have to admit, the book was mostly because me and one of my exes were having intimacy issues, it wasn’t really because of the poor head. Funnily enough tho, she was never interested in the book herself—which is kinda telling. I haven’t run into any issues since with any partners after tho :)

upvote 52 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

What is going on here?! 😭😭

upvote 52 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

on GOD

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #26 8w

28

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #18 8w

u & me both girlie

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #30 8w

This is horribly demeaning as a nerd but also simultaneously flattering. I’m not sure how to feel. I didn’t learn where the clit is from playing dark souls, I swear!

upvote 22 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #22 8w

Yo where exactly were we doing this research I've done some before but I need a refresher

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #30 8w

he was a nerd :(

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #33 8w

That’s actually adorable

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #33 8w

This is coming from a nerd. If you ever fought the Leviathan in Dead Space it’s pretty much 1:1 💀

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upvote 6 downvote
🦯
Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

This is why I’m glad god blessed me with a long ass tounge

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #51 8w

You’re suppose to leave a hickey there to mark your territory

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #51 8w

this made me laugh so hard. omg girl i’m so sorry for you

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #37 8w

Lmao he has it switched completely. Fingers inside stimulating G-spot while you use your tongue on the clit

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #18 8w

Ear canal is where it’s at

upvote 48 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #22 8w

Crazy asf lol but at least you know now

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #72 7w

100%

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #73 7w

no????

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #76 7w

nothing is anymore

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #78 7w

i like the feeling every now and then but not all the time

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> disney 7w

Tounge

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #79 7w

tongs

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #57 7w

Used to date a girl that said she was the perfect girl for someone who liked fucking ear canals because one of her ears couldn’t get an infection (lost an eardrum to a tumor)

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #83 7w

. ?

upvote 15 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #84 7w

I have spoken to exactly one woman who claims to enjoy this. 😬

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #33 7w

she is stronger than me cause i genuinely don’t know how anyone could enjoy that

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #84 7w

I truly don’t either. I’ve gotten teeth on a a BJ before and that shit is miserable, I can’t even imagine how fucked that would feel on a clit.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #33 7w

I must have my wires messed up. Sometimes I ask them to bite down a little

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #33 7w

Yeah weirded me out but she was proud of it for some reason

upvote 1 downvote