What part of “no sex means no sex” did you not understand

203

it really isn’t actually

37

Comment Deleted

0

Generally when someone says they don’t want to have sex, that means they don’t want to have sex

144

“still had to” is crazy. you don’t HAVE to do anything sexual or feel like you’re obligated to. that’s what consent is. and if you’re giving YOUR consent, fine. but that’s not everyone else.

130

Anonymous #4 13h

tbh i think its just inherently horny disrespect when they try to argue against a clear no

76

Anonymous #4 13h

If someone says “I’m not going to have sex”, why on earth would anyone assume “ah yes, surely this means they’re open to oral or anal sex”

46

Comment Deleted

0

“bruhh i just lost my job i can’t pay rent” “oh well you can still take me to dinner” soo disrespectful and a disregard of the problem that OP is facing. maybe they WOULD still give head but if that’s ur first response it becomes a definite no.

55

“No” should NEVER mean “keep asking”

50

Anonymous #1 10h

oh it’s almost like you’re wrong!

39

I think this might actually be the guy😂

26

Anonymous #8 9h

who is “the guy”? the original post is talking about responses not any individual person

-14

bro im trying to create an analogy you’ll understand to illustrate why this is an issue

31

Anonymous OP 8h

?? if my gfs on her period and sex sounds like a hassel (cleaning and what not) then she may deny sex and offer oral? not that crazy no?

-3

Anonymous #11 8h

Key word is “offer”. I said I was not going to have sex and in no way did that imply I wanted to have any kind of sex.

24

Anonymous OP 8h

when u say “im not going to have sex i have an infection” that is unfortunately just not clear/broad enough to convey the idea you dont want to have any kind of sexual contact, youre expecting them to make an assumption instead of just broadening the scope of your denial. particularly, its the fact that you mention the infection, depending on ur wording it could lead dudes to believe that you might want to have sexual contact but cant because of the infection so they might offer up other ways

-5

Anonymous #11 7h

i like this guy

-10

Anonymous #11 7h

If you encounter someone saying they do not want to have sex, regardless of the reason, that generally means they do not want to have any kind of sex

19

Anonymous OP 7h

🤡

-9

Anonymous #11 7h

damn dude. are you just that horny that you need to pressure a girl into other methods of getting you off when they say no? if they offer that’s one thing, but if not, you can just assume that she’s not into it, stop pushing, and beat off if you need it that bad. why do yall need to result to coercion every time you don’t get a yes?

14

Anonymous #1 7h

someone’s mad because they see someone criticizing behavior you actually do

17

Anonymous #10 7h

Yeah I’ve had a LOT of instances where men try to wear me down by asking again multiple times after I reject or hesitate and I’m sad to say that it’s worked sometimes. I wish I would have been stronger.

16

Anonymous #13 7h

how is that coercive whatsoever 💀

-5

Anonymous OP 7h

I’m so sorry. I’m my case he’s an ex for a reason. Unfortunately coercion is easy to see past bc you think you consented bc you eventually said yes. But you only said yes after number of nos

20

Anonymous #1 7h

you know their answer is “no” yet you’re working your way around the reason they give so you can get a “yes” because they feel like their answer isn’t valid and because you’re pushy, they’re afraid of what your response/reaction will be if they keep denying you. sounds pretty straightforward if you aren’t rapey 🤷‍♀️

14

Anonymous #13 7h

well id hope my rapport with said person would be good enough to know that I dont plan on raping them 🫩. Like Im not gonna respond violently if its a no, curiosity and the cat and allat.

-5

Anonymous #1 7h

i mean depending on how long you met them, you do realize that they still don’t know you. you can meet with someone a few times, and for all you know they could be playing a part. it takes a lot of time, effort, and trust to see if the “rapport” translates into action and being charming and have good banter doesn’t really show you someone’s true intentions. if you’re not taking someone’s first no, that will tell someone that you aren’t safe especially if you’re going back and forth several times

21

Anonymous #13 7h

I see your point but if im having sex with someone we’re hopefully known to eachother… though I am realizing this whole page is “hookup” horror stories. Which also kind of implies sex so idk what OP is on about. like #11 said, if you say no sex BECAUSE the infection, it implies the issue is the infection not the willingness to have sex. therefore other methods may be warranted

-5

Anonymous #1 7h

shut the fuck up i highkey hate u🔥🔥

4

Anonymous #1 7h

Man why are you still trying to justify not taking no for an answer

26

Anonymous #11 7h

hey that was so rude

-5

Anonymous OP 7h

instead of hoping people jump to that assumption just say you dont want to do anything??? i already explained how what you said could be misinterpreted to make ppl think that you may be open to other forms of sexual contact did that just not land like any thoughts on that?? i could totally tell a girl “sorry i got a coldsore no kissing tn” should she assume that means no sex? wouldnt that assumption just based off what i said sound silly? just be clearer with your speech

-3

Anonymous #11 7h

that was in response to me brotato

-4

Anonymous #11 7h

A reminder that saying you don’t want to have sex can also mean you don’t want to have ORAL sex. Either giving or recieving

20

Anonymous #1 7h

i think you just have to understand how it is that women think. a woman who isn’t comfortable just saying a flat out “no” without giving some kind of reason is doing so because they’re afraid of the reaction they’re going to get or because they don’t like being confrontational/disagreeable because they’ve been taught to people please. if they offer another method, you can more or less infer that she really is just saying no to that one thing. if not, she isn’t looking for work arounds

15

Anonymous #10 7h

it CAN mean that. But THATS EXACTLY WHY THE PERSON ASKED FOR ELABORATION????????

-2

Anonymous OP 7h

that is not what im doing

-5

Anonymous #13 7h

youre a disgusting piece of shit who doesnt deserve an explanation from me cuz of how bad faith your response was but ill give you one anyway cuz im bored. by saying “no sex tn im infected” it is entirely unclear to anyone hearing that that they had also revoked consent for oral sex. op explained why they revoked consent by mentioning they were infected. does this infection effect their mouth? presumably no so then how is anyone to connect that that also means no oral.

-2

Anonymous #11 7h

man i just know those sa modules the school sends you are sitting unopened in your inbox. if a woman wants to do something else, i promise she will tell you. college aged women know what oral sex is and don’t need you to bring it up after she’s said “no” like it’s some mystical unheard of act. we all know that you know this, and we aren’t stupid to the fact that you think that by wearing a woman down and pressuring her into giving you anything sexual that you’ll eventually get your way.

17

Anonymous #11 7h

no ones “pushing” by asking about oral?? theyre just confirming whether consent has been given for oral because op said NOTHING abt general sexual contact, they only spoke on sex. i dont wanna have a banana for breakfast doesnt mean i dont wanna have an apple???? obviously??? tweaker, dont imply im a manipulative coercive rapist, ur sick fuck you

5

Anonymous #13 7h

I think your head is so fucked that you just attribute any controversial thought to a man being rapey and coercive. Its not always that fuckin evil

-2

Anonymous #11 7h

#11 i know we have our differences but my love is entirely selfless and unwavering

-5

Anonymous #11 7h

again dude, those sa modules the school keeps sending are screaming in your inbox like please open one 🙏 and if saying that a woman is capable of telling you herself that she is ok with alternative sex acts, instead of assuming that because she gave an explanation behind her no that she must want you throwing out every alternative in the book makes you a disgusting person then guilty as charged.

12

Anonymous #13 7h

holy cyclical argument…

-2

Anonymous #1 7h

alr buddy ilyt but like not in a sense of camaraderie, this is like when you see a bug stuck running in a circle and its like oh no this thing is so stupid i love it like i hope it grows and gets better and like smarter and shit

0

Anonymous #13 7h

genuinely boutta draw you a diagram cuz this concept is not getting through this thick skull of yours

0

Anonymous #11 7h

Yeah ykw maybe you are a rapist

1

Anonymous #11 7h

and again, if you’re getting THIS mad about a girl just saying she’s upset that she had a man try and pressure her into sex after she said no instead of scrolling, i have a very hard time believing that you aren’t personally offended because you feel as if this is somehow directed at actions you either actively take or have taken before.

11

Anonymous #13 7h

literacy comprehension challenge

-3

Anonymous #11 7h

it’s actually funny how mad you’re getting about this

8

Anonymous #1 7h

consent comprehension challenge

13

Anonymous #13 7h

girl you better consent to getting yo ass beat

-5

Anonymous #1 7h

Bro just say you’re a fucking rapist

10

Anonymous #13 6h

dawg who tf is spectating just to upvote yo ass and downvote me

-2

Anonymous #10 6h

??????? I wouldnt even rape an insect

-5

Anonymous #1 6h

man defending coercion threatens to beat women aka fork found in kitchen

12

Anonymous #13 6h

literally not mad at anything except the fact that you somehow derived i was a manipulative creep from my very mundane argument. people without common sense really get under my skin

-1

Anonymous #13 6h

first of all again if you had literate competence you’d know I’m not defending coercion… im saying its not coercion. and I wouldnt lay my hands on a chick it was just for comedic effect

-3

Anonymous #1 6h

if you don’t want to be downvoted, probably not the best idea to be defending coercion

5

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous #11 6h

anyway heres mah graph. if you revoke consent for, say, oral, especially when you give an explicit reason for why youre revoking consent for oral it is unclear whether youre also revoking consent for, say, sex. sex and oral are both sexual acts (refer to the graph for proof😉) but, they require different parts, so! when you say you cant do one cuz those parts arent doing so hot, Again!, it is UNCLEAR that you dont want to do the other one. thankfully, the graph points us to a helpful answer,

0

Anonymous #1 6h

the definition of coercion is the act, process, or power of compelling someone to act against their free will by using force, intimidation, threats, or psychological pressure. even if you aren’t using the other three, if a woman says no over and over again to repeated suggestions of other sex acts because you don’t trust her intelligence or ability to dictate another one to you unprompted, that is psychological pressure which would make it coercion.

6

Anonymous #11 6h

hey just a stipulation, there is a small correction and in fact oral is kind of a lesser version. so its not backwards compatible. meaning being against oral has a high likelihood of also being against sex sex. though the opposite is plausible

6

Anonymous #11 6h

revoking consent for the umbrella term “sexual acts” will completely clear up any uncertainty! and i would reccomend people try that if what they want to communicate is that they dont want to perform any sexual acts. why would i EVER tell someone “my lips sore, i dont wanna suck your dick” if it was also my intention to explain to them i didnt wanna have sex? would that be clear? No! thanks

0

if your intention is to offend me, i don’t get insulted by rapey dudes saying slurs

12

Anonymous #13 6h

yeah but you’re failing to see what’s actually happening. there is not compelling against free will here. The person in question simply ASKED if other things were on the table. If there was anything more happening then I dont defend that. and it wasnt “over and over” again… ur just making it way more serious than it needs to be.

-3

Anonymous #11 6h

saying no to one of those branching terms, does NOT mean you said no to the others ones! cuz they arent the same thing! hope this helps! (refer to graph)

0

Anonymous #13 6h

thats not at all my intention I was just trying to highlight the intellectual impass. Also stop calling me rapey please. and that word is less of a slur and moreso just means “slow.”

-3

Anonymous #1 6h

This comment says everything anyone needs to know about you btw

11

Anonymous #10 6h

care to edify me

-2

Anonymous #1 6h

correct! but not in this case! where the person against doing either oral or sex has an explicit reason for not wanting to regarding the state of their mouth or genitalia! in that case it is entirely plausible that someone may deny oral for that specific reason and then be fine with sex

-1

Anonymous #11 6h

this*

-1

Anonymous #1 6h

was super cool how 13 js didnt respond to dis one ig

-3

Anonymous #11 6h

consent isn’t a legal document where you’re looking for loopholes. is it really the end of the world if you hear a woman say no and give a reason for it (i’m not going into the reasons they do it again) and don’t feel like you need to suggest everything in the book afterwards? like is it THAT bad to just accept the no, beat off privately, and avoid looking like an ass who can’t take a hint?

11

Anonymous #1 6h

if you can actually learn to respect a no in terms of sex when you get it, then i have no reason to call you rapey, but idk how else you’d describe that

9

Anonymous #11 6h

yeah nah icl i was gonna respond to that in a way that would emphasize how dumb the question was, w delete

-1

Anonymous #1 6h

first, according to op, she wasn’t asked “does that mean everything is off the table?” he said “your ass isn’t infected” then when she said no once again, he asked about head. that is, in fact, over and over again. and second, if a woman is scared because you aren’t taking the no and keep throwing out other things, that shows us that you aren’t safe and when men aren’t safe there’s a possibility of violence which strips them of the free will to say no without intimidation. it’s not that hard

4

Anonymous #13 6h

no ones looking for loopholes, it just isnt clear that she doesnt want to? and chill on the hyperbole big guy! suggesting one other act thing is not suggesting “everything in the book” normally exaggerating like that wouldnt matter but in this case it genuinely does sound like youre describing coercion when you say that! so id appreciate if you chill on the bad faith responses where you exaggerate like that.

-1

Anonymous #11 6h

i didn’t see it, asked where, i saw it, i deleted the question, i responded. like you do see how long this thread is getting? heaven forbid one of your stupid horny brain comments is hard to find

4

Anonymous #13 6h

yeah im ngl im still clowning u for not seeing it when it was right above the message u responded too😭😭 idc how long the thread is thats just more evidence u should know how replies work, but this doesnt matter frl no biggie

-2

Anonymous #13 6h

i actually interpreted that differently, when she specified she got two different responses i thought she was talm bout two diff dudes

3

Anonymous #11 6h

like is your argument that you’re just dumb and/or too horny to accept one no? like is it going to haunt you for the rest of your life if you missed out on head because that’s genuinely the worst that happens in that situation. and how is it bad faith to label you going through every hole she has big enough for your dick as everything in the book like genuinely?

8

Anonymous #11 6h

she said she had one *response* saying the stuff about anal not one guy, therefore it’s reasonable that when she said she had *another* she means another response, not another guy.

3

Anonymous #13 6h

do you just not like reading? ive explained countless times that it may not have been clear op didnt want to perform ALL sexual acts. if you want to argue with me like engage with that part???? tf??? why are you even in my replies if you just dont wanna engage with my main argument?? like ive had 10 replies talking abt this and you just keep dodging it lmk y ⬇️⬇️⬇️

-1

Anonymous #11 6h

#1’s icon was the same exact color as mine, types in all lowercase same as me, and again the thread is a literal wall of text. like do you have any actual arguments or is this the strongest thing you can actually say rn bc you don’t know what you’re talking about in the slightest?

3

Anonymous #13 6h

well yeah but even just specifying you got another response could imply theres a second person. idk, odd way of phrasing it ig

0

Anonymous #13 6h

its right up there ⬆️

-1

Anonymous #11 6h

i only typed that out cuz i was waiting for you to respond myh

0

Anonymous #11 6h

so hi, i am a woman who also dates other women here so i think im pretty qualified to talk about where we come from when we say certain things. when you’re saying “it’s not clear” im saying it is clear because the way women operate is when we give a specific reason for not wanting one major form of intimacy but don’t give another, it’s bc we don’t want ANY. it takes nothing to just say “ok” and walk away instead of suggesting other methods. they know they exist and would say it if they wanted to

9

Anonymous #13 6h

could not be less mad at op btw i was only mad earlier cuz of your baseless accusations? like the ones u make in this message😭😭 just spewing bs 😭😭😭

-2

Anonymous #11 6h

why the fuck did this reply get sent down herrrreeeeeeee fuck

-2

Anonymous #13 6h

fuck had a whole finished response and swiped slightly to the left and now its all fucking gone i fucking hate yikyak ts got me so tight

0

Anonymous #11 6h

calling you a rapist would be a baseless accusation. i can’t evaluate whether you have actually physically raped a woman without an accusation. i called you rapey after you got so triggered you needed to respond to a post of a woman saying she was upset she had to say “no” no less than three times to a guy. rapist is an accusation, rapey is a description of the words you’re saying and actions you’re justifying.

7

Anonymous #13 6h

anyway, yes it is completely possible that a women may not want to consent to other stuff when they talk about not being able to do one thing, that being said u cant just talk for all women just cuz youre a women. it is entirely also possible someone might say no sex tn pussy infected and then not immediately mention any other acts. if my dick was out of commission and i tell someone that, im not immediately going to start listing every other thing i can do, i may wait for her to suggest

2

Anonymous #11 6h

asking abt oral in that case is literally just clearing the air and is not malicious

0

Anonymous #11 5h

and if i am wrong and every single women really does just move in these vague mysterious ways then like thats your problem😭😭 again, be more clear

-1

Anonymous #13 5h

*loud incorrect buzzer* “i have a very hard time believing that you aren't personally offended because you feel as if this is somehow directed at actions you either actively take or have taken before.” sounds like a baseless accusation to me. like what do you get out of continuously misinterpreting me in order to paint me as a worse person? do you feel better abt yourself doing this?

-1

Anonymous #11 5h

dk if you remember my og messages but it was quite clear i wasnt “triggered” at all at op just suggested a way she could communicate clearer. i only got “triggered” after you came along and started talking shit. also you know i interpreted the og post differently, i thought it was 2 diff guys and u know that dk why ur acting like u dont. u dont have to make someone look worse than they are to engage with them?? grow up?

0

Anonymous #11 5h

i’m not speaking for all women, but i’m speaking about myself, the women i’ve talked to in my life, the several women in this chat saying the same things, and the almost 1.5k other women (i’m sure a few are also men that understand consent) who upvoted this post because they relate. i’ll agree, it’s not *impossible* for a woman to be ok with something else and not immediately say it but very unlikely. and ik id rather leave without sex than make them feel guilty or coerced

4

Anonymous #13 5h

if you feel like youre coercing someone by bringing up one other act after they gave an explicit reason for not being able to have sex, especiallly like over text where you cant read the room or anything (this is all way diff if its in person ofc) like thats crazy. and also so what are you saying if ur in this situation, the majority of times ur just gonna immediately start like listing off what sexual acts you can still perform? like idk dawg, but thank you for being able to admit that its

3

Anonymous #11 5h

“not impossible” lol, genuinely appreciate that

1

Anonymous #11 5h

yeah that last paragraph was worded like shit cuz its 3am and im tired

1

Anonymous #11 5h

also if your response is really“be more clear” knowing what i’ve already said about women giving reasons to their no’s, while admitting yourself that if for some reason your dick didn’t work but wanted another form of sex you wouldn’t be clear that you’re open to other forms of intimacy to your partner that’s logically inconsistent. why do you get to be “unclear” but women must know they have to list every sex act they don’t want in a situation where they could still be forced

10

Anonymous #13 5h

because in my case im open to letting the convo flow, if she wants to ask more questions muy bien, but in your case you see asking any further questions as coercion and like this threat so id encourage you to be clearer

4

Anonymous #11 5h

they dont gotta list every sex act they dont want, just make it clear they arent open to anything if they arent open to anything. and considering this is all over text like what are u constantly in fear of? the dude coming over and breaking your door down? like possible but unlikely no?

3

Anonymous #11 5h

no, i’m saying if a girl says “no, i don’t want to have sex bc i have a uti” but still wants to do something else then she can simply just say “im open to other things though if thats ok with you” it’s simple. but if she doesn’t say that last part i rather just not have sex that night than start to make her feel like i expect SOMETHING

11

Anonymous #11 5h

if you’re making comments like “well your ass isn’t infected,” that’s not made in good faith to genuinely care about how your partner feels. i feel like that’s pretty different than a general “are you not feeling up to intimacy at all right now?” response. also periods and uti’s and such are very painful so ik if im in pain, i dont feel i need clarity that they aren’t up for anything and would rather wait.

9

Anonymous #11 5h

and thats IF its over text, but even then, people pleasing is a trait in a lot of women so i would rather be left wondering if she might’ve been up to something else than wonder if she said yes because she has a hard time sticking to no or didn’t want to upset me

6

Anonymous #13 5h

i dont like the idea that you gotta read all between the lines and shit just to preserve this persons feelings. they should communicate clearly or not be offended/take the idea as if its an expectation when you ask for clarification. in your hypothetical i think youre making the best out of a bad situation but i dont think the poor communicator should be putting you in a sitch where u gotta think abt all that

0

Anonymous #11 5h

honestly it’s late, this conversation is all over the place, & i spent half of it jumping between 2 of you so i don’t immediately remember everything said bc it’s been 2-3 hours so i apologize. i scrolled up to find it to refresh and while i still disagree with you, as i don’t see it as a big deal to walk away if a girl is unclear & think it’s way better than pressuring them like how op experienced. i originally only responded to you after you got aggressive with another commenter not the og one

7

Anonymous #13 5h

im not going to infantilize all women because some of them are people pleasers. i lwk expect adults im talking to to be able to communicate what they are and arent chill with and for 1 additional question not to sway their minds. like ur genuinely asking me to treat women as though theyre kids no? is this the expectation? shit ill do it if i have to i guess. like if ik this girl and ik she has problems w this yes ill treat her this way but the majority of women ive met were good communicators

3

Anonymous #13 5h

no absolutely, the ass comment was dumb asf i have no intention of defending that, and i totally thought that the two comments were from two different dudes, still kinda do think that, so ive just been defending that other guy. ALSO! didnt know utis were constantly painful so myb there actually

3

Anonymous #13 5h

oh, no problem then, thats actually a super reasonable explanation

-1

Anonymous #11 5h

i just understand the rape culture that we live in, and even good, well meaning guys benefit from the violence that horrible men enact. if a girl doesn’t know what man will respect her no, then the more pushback she gets, the more likely she’ll cave to protect herself or say yes the first time when she doesn’t want to.

5

Anonymous #11 5h

myb

-1

Anonymous #11 5h

all good, everything just clumps together and when one person gets heightened from one comment, i think it just dominoes and prevents meaningful conversation. especially on the internet when there’s a like hundred people, you can’t read tone, everyone’s anonymous, there’s a word limit with misunderstandings happening, and it’s fun to troll

7

Anonymous #13 5h

when its an in person sitch i agree w this idea

0

Anonymous #11 5h

so so sorry but im going to have to cut this short, shouldve done this hours ago tbh, it was nice talking to you but i have an 8am class tomorrow and if i dont get some sleep i might die. ill try to be more mindful of the impacts living in a rape culture may have on a woman i want to hu with. have a good night 👋

0

Anonymous #11 4h

if u reply to any of my other stuff i might respond tmrw idk.. busy guy, like to save my debating for the witching hour

1

Anonymous #11 4h

i’ll agree it’s much more common in person. i personally still err on the side of caution over text though because as someone who thought they liked men for years before coming to terms with the fact that i’m gay, ik what it was like to have people pleasing tendencies and ignore my own wishes when i felt like i would upset someone, so i just think it’s better to go without than wonder if they didn’t want to upset me.

4

Anonymous #11 4h

i don’t automatically think if you have good intentions and ask in a very mindful way if that means they’re opposed to all intimacy then that means you’re a monstrously disgusting person, but if you’re saying “well your ass isn’t infected” then that’s uncalled for and i’d probably call it out just like op. i personally wouldn’t do either bc i pride myself on being conscious of the past experiences my partner may have had and want to ensure consent is fully given without any external factors

8

Anonymous #11 4h

sorry just saw the last one but same here. i’m glad this turned more productive through the chaos and we could clear up the miscommunications. good luck and condolences on the 8am class 🙏

6

Anonymous #10 4h

Jfc. I couldn’t reply earlier (got high then slept) when the replies started building up, but while reading through just now I kinda just started skipping over 1’s responses bc they were obviously being unproductive and rage baity. Completely missed the explicit incel shit as a result

7

Anonymous OP 4h

AND PEOPLE LIEK 1 and 11 say this isn’t coercive rape!!!!!! They make me so mad omgggg don’t get me started yall are so stupid and uneducated about rape and your willingly CHOOSING to traumatize girls. NO IS NO AND YRUST ME IF A GIRL LIKES YOU SHE WONT EVEN ASK AND U DONT HAVE TO ASK EITHER!! If you have to ask for something at this age, in a hookup culture, it’s usually a no!!!!!!!

5

Anonymous #14 4h

But that DOESNT mean make a move if there was NO prior approval or consent and it’s important to remember EVERYONE consent can be REVOKED at ANY TIME!!!!!!!!

8

Anonymous #14 4h

And that’s NOT an invitation to ask for other sexual acts or keep pursuing it. Cause ik in that situation, if I was SUDDENLY feeling better or now in the mood, I WILL START GETTING AFFECTIONATE AND SENSUAL AND THATS A SIGN THAT MY MIND HAS CHANGED. A MAN IS NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND THO. that happens on its own and sometimes doesn’t always happen. Men are so conceited and think they deserve whatever puh they can get and it makes me so mad.

3

Anonymous #14 4h

Sorry. I know I’m lwk probably just projecting but ts makes me so upset because people (men and women too btw!!!!!) just don’t get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

Anonymous #14 3h

i definitely agree with #1 being gross, but i think #11 and i were misunderstanding each other and started rage baiting. it sounds like he just needs to read more into the rape culture and how men in general benefit from women not knowing who is safe or not until it’s too late and is open to learning about it. i assumed he was saying it’s fine to ask over and over after a no but it seems like he just didn’t understand why asking once could be wrong if its well-meaning which is understandable

7

Anonymous #14 3h

trust me, i definitely agree that even a small pushback can mean that you may not be getting full consent. as someone who’s experienced that myself and talked with other women about this i’m all too aware, but i can at least understand how a guy who doesn’t have these experiences and doesn’t have to think about that daily will need to look elsewhere and talk to others before coming to that understanding. i just don’t want to group him in with #1 if he’s actually open to understanding deeper

9

Anonymous #14 3h

i definitely share your anger towards men who think constantly pressuring girls into saying yes is the same as getting a passionate yes from the jump, but if a guy is really open to learning more about the factors they don’t usually experience that play into consent then i don’t want to push them away from that by grouping them with the rage bait guys that have no interest in learning more. i’ll agree we both said ridiculous shit to get a rise out of the other but it ended a lot more productive

8

Anonymous #14 3h

i hope you’re ok though girl bc we’ve all been through shit with guys who are genuinely selfish and only care about the next lay, and if you ever need to talk the girls are here for you 🫶

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Anonymous #13 3h

Lwk I stopped reading the messages. I don’t like the rage baiting either tho cause it lwk be so hard to know who’s being real or not cause they be saying EXACTLY what past abusers have said and that shit don’t fly with me at all. But I totally see where you’re coming from and I’ve also honestly given so many men the benefit of the doubt and I TALK to them abt it and you’re right, some just don’t have experience or they’re so brainwashed. It’s just sad and that’s why there needs to be EDUCATION

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Anonymous #15 1h

Genuinely for any shitty things they do or dumb shit they say. I do that

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