Anonymous #2 3w

would you mind sharing more about how you decided to go no contact?

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Anonymous OP 3w

sure. my brother is a horrible person all around and he’s my only immediate family. he kicked me out of the home we inherited from our dad so that made that easy. the rest of my local relatives are trump supporters so that made that easy. and the rest of my family is in norway. they’ve never helped me with anything i’ve asked (like helping me move there or learn the language), my aunt just calls to cry about my late father.

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Anonymous OP 3w

they send me gifts, mainly food, that i can’t eat bc they contain gluten even though i’ve told them multiple times that i was near death in the hospital from celiac disease. i grew up with my best friends, basically my sisters, being fundamentalist christians and that was my first encounter with having to go no contact with people and it’s become easier from there. i only want relationships in my life that improve it and make me happy. it’s a hard decision but also very easy at the same time.

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Anonymous OP 3w

something my therapist said that stuck with me is that you should prioritize relationships with people who share your values and beliefs and none of my family fit that criteria and it was a cause of great stress. it’s sad realizing they won’t be in my life again but at the same time it’s an immense relief and gives me more bandwidth to focus on things and people that improve my life and make me happy

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Anonymous #2 3w

i completely agree and im sorry this has happened to you:( i feel like right now im having a crisis about it because they could literally die and i probably wont say goodbye to them

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Anonymous OP 3w

well if you go no contact youll have to mourn them before they die which honestly might be more difficult. but it prepares you for when they do pass. if they truly love you they’ll understand that you have to do what is best for your life and they’ll want you to be happy. if they’re bad enough to be around consider going no contact with i’m sure you’ve already exhausted all of your options at having a healthy and fulfilling relationship with them.

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Anonymous OP 3w

you can only do so much to change someone and when they aren’t willing to change the only thing you can do is to act accordingly in response. don’t make yourself suffer because other people aren’t willing to be enjoyable to be around.

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Anonymous #2 3w

i definitely exhausted all my options to have a healthy relationship without giving up my sense of self and boundaries. a lot of my familial relationships seem to have a requirement for me to have no boundaries and bend over backwards for their convenience instead of something balanced. it’s so depressing. i have no interest anymore in being around them but it’s still sad. i feel like they come up in my head as intrusive thoughts when im having a good time and i honestly don’t know how to deal

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Anonymous OP 3w

it is devastating to not want your family in your life even thought it’s better for you. things that are good for you and things that are easy are rarely the same. you deserve relationships that enrich your life and respect your boundaries. i still struggle with the fact that i have living family but i don’t talk to them because it’s better for me. honestly time helps a lot when you realize how much less stress you have without them.

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Anonymous OP 3w

try to let yourself feel those feelings whenever they come up because it is painful and it’s important you process that grief

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Anonymous #2 3w

yeah thank you for all your responses🫶 i feel like i struggle to feel the feelings because i think i am but then it just keeps coming up. so atp it’s probably ruminating because i come to the same conclusion in my head over and over again that it’s better to not be speaking to them, and things would’ve ended the way they did regardless of what I would’ve done. it’s literally the most painful part of my life right now and it’s hard to process how different they were during my childhood vs rn

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