girlboard on Sidechat | Why do so many people not talk about their exes with their partners? I understand not dwelling on it or comparing things, but I think it's important to talk about how you got where you are through past experiences, romantic and not.

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girlboard 5d

Why do so many people not talk about their exes with their partners? I understand not dwelling on it or comparing things, but I think it's important to talk about how you got where you are through past experiences, romantic and not.

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Anonymous 5d

Bcs ppl who talk about their exes fast are usually not over them yet. It all depends on

Anonymous 5d

Talking about an ex if very different from talking about an experience, you can say what happened and how you felt while the conversation is centred around you not them

Anonymous 5d

because some people are so insecure that even the mention of their partner’s ex will set them off. such people are not ready to be in relationships yet, but I digress

Anonymous

chronic_napper 5d

I never said 'fast'; I mean, in general. Also, that is untrue. I think mature people can talk about past experiences and what they learned from them without it being an act of longing.

Anonymous

#2 5d

Yeah, I just don't get people like that I guess

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Anonymous

OP 5d

Notice how i said ✨usually✨?

Anonymous

chronic_napper 5d

But I still feel like that's not true. It's not usually unless you're in high school.

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Anonymous

OP 5d

Idk, based on my experience n several others

Anonymous

chronic_napper 5d

Yeah, but like I said, comparing them and constantly bringing them up is different than acknowledging what happened and talking about its effects on you.

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Anonymous

#2 5d

I feel like you wanted a certain answer and i didnt provide that so u choose to disagree

Anonymous

chronic_napper 5d

I'm not arguing; I'm just saying I never mentioned people talking about it too fast, and I'm not even disagreeing. I am saying that what you are talking about and what I said are two different things.

Anonymous

#3 5d

But to talk about the relationship, you also have to talk about them. It also makes sense to be honest and say what it was that they did that may have hurt you or what made you date/love them at all. I'm also talking about serious relationships, not one that was never a big deal.

Anonymous

OP 4d

It’s the phasing. Saying “my ex cheated on me he’s awful and stupid” is very different from “I’ve gotten cheated on in the past and felt…”. The first one makes the conversation about them not you

Anonymous

#3 4d

It's not just about cheating, though; there are a lot of other things you talk about in a relationship about your past relationship experiences, where you need to say it was your ex who did it. Also, exes don't have to be enemies or scary things to talk about. I think ignoring someone's existence is immature, especially if they were a big part of your life.