Anonymous #1 1d

Yes I’m for child centered external care. If needed

0

Anonymous OP 1d

So you don’t want people to adopt is basically what u said

5

Anonymous #1 1d

Yeah, fuck those orphans. They don’t deserve parents

1

Anonymous #2 1d

Is that basically not what they said that infertile parents don’t deserve children and orphans don’t deserve parents 😭

13

Anonymous #1 1d

No I believe in child centered external care

-1

Anonymous OP 1d

This is kinda stupid because what about babies who who are too young to communicate their needs? Are we supposed to wait 8 years till they can tell us what they want? Babies need love stability and a family too. Child centered care should mean finding what’s best for the child adoption absolutely can and most likely is that. Obviously there are exceptions but assuming someone shouldn’t adopt just because they are struggling with infertility is ridiculous. A child can have amazing loving life.

11

Anonymous #1 1d

With parents who adopted because they couldn’t convince

10

Anonymous #1 23h

No, I’m referring to the fact that adoption isn’t a family planning tool and children shouldn’t be a plan b, c, d etc? Adults should focus external care on the child’s needs. Not their own desires. Not sure what you mean by “too young to communicate” I’m referring simply to child centered care. They don’t need to be able to talk to provide child centered care to them Ofc babies need love and stability. That’s my whole point. It should be about them and not the adults involved desires

0

Anonymous #1 23h

No one deserves children… children deserves safe and trauma informed care. It’s not about what the parents want

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

Also they’re almost always not orphans. Pls don’t refer to them as orphans 😭

-2

Anonymous OP 20h

I understand that adoption shouldn’t be treated as a backup plan or a way to fulfill an adult’s desires, but the idea that infertility automatically makes someone unfit to adopt is overly simplistic. Many people plan to adopt even if they’re able to have biological children. When someone tries to have a biological child and discovers they can’t, they often weren’t planning to adopt in the first place.

1

Anonymous #1 20h

It does explain why some people question their motivations, but questioning them is different from declaring them selfish or incapable of loving an adopted child. Someone can grieve not being able to have biological children and still genuinely want to adopt and love an adopted child as their own.

1

Anonymous #1 20h

Those things aren’t mutually exclusive, no matter how determined people are to pretend they are. Child-centered care means prioritizing the child’s needs and finding them a safe, loving, permanent family.

3

Anonymous #1 20h

Well the post doesn’t state that. The post is referring specifically to ppl currently undergoing infertility trauma. It is trauma. They’re not in a place to adopt or provide external care until they heal that trauma. Which is why it says heal. Bc what commonly happens in adoption circles is that instead of therapy & healing, adoptive parents adopt to fill that hole and to heal their trauma. Which doesn’t work and puts the child in danger. Which is why adoptees are a lot more likely to be abused

3

Anonymous #3 19h

Pls actually read all the replies, why would I want a child to not be cared for. Predicting the future is not related to anything I said. Even tho ur not engaging in good faith I’ll still address your other points. They’re not orphans most of the time which is how I know you’re not educated on this topic. I’m advocating for their care so I’m not sure why ur referencing them deserving a fulfilling life, that’s exactly my whole point. Children are full human beings who deserve to be prioritized

6

Anonymous #3 19h

And as I’ve referenced many times, child centered care is providing the care that is best for the child. Centering their needs instead of hopeful adoptive parents. What’s in their best interest depends on the child and family. If safe and possible, it’s best for the child to stay with their family. If parents are unfit then a family member is the best 2nd option. If that’s not possible then a friend/known person is best. If that’s not possible then someone in the local community is the best fit

6

Anonymous #3 19h

Adults wanting to care for children should step up when someone in their community is in need. They shouldn’t go seeking or wishing for a family to be separated so that they can fulfill their family planning desires. they shouldn’t try to heal their infertility trauma with adoption. They shouldn’t use adoptees to fill that hole bc then the chance of abuse sky rockets

3

Anonymous #1 19h

Re: your last sentence about child centered care: yes exactly. That’s what I’m advocating for!

5