Girl Talk on Sidechat | some men need to realize that a lot of SAers don’t realize they are SAers. that requires a level of self awareness, reflection, empathy, and education that some people who do that kind of thing truly do not have. they walk around thinking they’re “good”

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Girl Talk 66w

some men need to realize that a lot of SAers don’t realize they are SAers. that requires a level of self awareness, reflection, empathy, and education that some people who do that kind of thing truly do not have. they walk around thinking they’re “good”

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Anonymous 66w

this is why women often don’t just take a guy’s word for it on someone’s character. it’s still not safe.

Anonymous 66w

my dad thinks him SAing me is justified bc he did out of pettiness in response to his own resentment 😂😭

Anonymous 66w

Such a complicated subject. I was SAed by a girl my age in middle school. I know she never has even considered it inappropriate, and that’s not her fault

Anonymous 66w

🗣️Begging your girlfriend and getting her to cave into doing something sexually that she doesn’t actually want to do IS sa 🗣️

Anonymous 66w

Or lying to themselves in order to not feel guilty

Anonymous 66w

And then it causes the issue where since “no man knows any SAers” then women who make accusations “must be lying” since SA is so “rare”. Nevermind the fact that almost every single woman has her own story about SA, and they’re almost always legitimately SA

Anonymous 66w

I completely agree. I also think the lack of some men recognizing what is SA can also create confusion for women trying to figure out why a situation felt wrong and can cause them to internalize the trauma of being SAed because they sometimes don’t even realize they were

Anonymous 66w

my ex told me and genuinely thought that he cared soooo much about consent but then ended up assaulting me. they lack self awareness 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous 66w

coughs my ex until i told him he had r*p*d me.

Anonymous 66w

Well said

Anonymous

#3 66w

Same 😭

Anonymous

#6 66w

Omg girl. Pls dm me if you ever wanna chat. It’s not a story I share with anyone irl because it’s too complicated

Anonymous

#10 66w

this might sound silly or unserious but i’m actually speaking really from the heart here: people often view SAers as these ultra-aggressive, rude, asshole-ish criminals terrorizing women on the street, but imagine if we viewed them as serial killers—hiding in plain sight, maybe a “nice” guy, your neighbor, your family member, but secretive & manipulative & deranged behind the scenes. the “in plain sight” criminal profile really just doesn’t encapsulate all SAers.

Anonymous

OP 66w

That’s exactly how I see them and I wish more people saw them that way. My SAer was hiding in plain sight and was super charismatic so no one believed me when I spoke up. And I knew one of my friends’ r*p*st before her SA and he was always super likeable and I always wanted to be friends with him. When I found out what he did to my friend, I was beyond horrified. That’s exactly why I never really trust anyone, but especially men. You never know who they really are until it’s too late

Anonymous

#1 66w

What did he do bro

-3

Anonymous

#3 66w

Nah I feel like there’s a clear line ppl just don’t care

Anonymous

#3 66w

that was middle school, if ur assaulting people in college that is completely on you theres zero excuse

Anonymous

#15 66w

yes that feeling women have of “was that what i think it was, i really feel like that was wrong but is it… that?” and even the denial that sometimes follows. that points to the confusion many people feel about what is okay and what is not okay in that setting.

Anonymous

#17 66w

You don’t know everyone’s situations. She did not know in that moment. Probably still doesn’t. I don’t blame her