Anonymous #1 3w

cuz people think you’re only supposed to be dating if you’re looking for something long term. that’s just not how life is for everyone

17

Anonymous #2 3w

Literally why is this community so obsessed with traditional dating patriarchal norms and having to get married or be in a life long relationship by a certain age 😭

8

Anonymous #1 3w

Because most people do want to marry someone and have a significant other. It’s like walking into a coffee shop and questioning why most ppl are drinking coffee and not tea. Do they serve tea? Yeah. But most ppl drink coffee

0

Anonymous #3 3w

Yeah that’s absolutely fine, I never said anything against anyone’s personal choice. My comment is referring to why would you judge the choices of another person? And do most ppl want to marry these days? Idk

4

Anonymous #3 3w

stupid ass comparison. this isn’t about a coffee shop 😹. it’s not weird to want to marry someone and it’s not weird to not want that either. that’s the whole point.

5

Anonymous #2 3w

Exactly. Also just bc someone doesn’t want a long term relationship RIGHT NOW doesn’t mean they won’t want one or be ready for one in a few years. What if they’re recovering from domestic abuse. Narcissistic abuse. Divorce. In therapy. Have various traumas they’re working through. What if you live somewhere just temporarily and are going to move in a year. It’s okay to want a connection. Not all of them have to last forever and that’s okay

9

Anonymous #1 3w

Well yeah I’m not judging u for being like “why is this insane” (I wrote this right as my alarm to clock back into work so I couldn’t get my whole thoughts out) But I was going to extended and say op is saying “that’s insane to me.” And ur also saying that her thoughts are insane too. I was mainly reply to ur comment saying “why is this community obsessed w patriarchal norms.” Not talking about ops “insane” comment

1

Anonymous #2 3w

Yeah that’s what my comment was referring to. It’s fine to want either. And just how op can say “bro this is crazy” u guys also said “this is crazy” to op’s opinions. Humans are social creatures and want to settle down and have a family before they turn 35 it’s not patriarchal in its entirety. Thats where I’m coming from. Any other point yall are talking about I 100% agree w.

1

Anonymous #3 3w

Most ppl want to settle down before 35* let me clarify

1

Anonymous #3 3w

I’m saying judging other ppl for not being at the same stage in romantic commitments as you think they should be isn’t right… not that her wanting a long term relationship or marriage by 28 is insane? If thats what SHE wants, totally cool. Why are we judging other ppl tho, you don’t know their whole life story and where they’re at in terms of mental health. Like for example, I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I’m in my mid 20s. It’s not insane if I wanted to seek a shorter term relationship

1

Anonymous #3 3w

And I still stand by my comment about patriarchal norms bc this shit is imbedded into all of us. Some of us have just done more work to deconstruct it. I know many on here are very young and naive about relationships. But you go through enough trauma, relationships and experience and realize the fairytale weddings and white picket dreams we dreamed of as little girls aren’t all they’re cracked up to be

-1

Anonymous #1 3w

Okay and I said I agree w all of those points. I agree with you. I was talking about your generalizations about girl talk That’s what I was talking about I agree with you

1

Anonymous #3 3w

Yup and I still stand by that generalization bc this sentiment is repeated a lot here with lots of upvotes. Also see it a lot on TikTok and instagram. And just in America society in general

1

Anonymous #1 3w

Okay and yes a lot of ideas about marriage are patriarchal. But marriage in itself isn’t patriarchal. Thats my point. And clearly op isn’t young if she is getting matches (going off of context) for ppl over 25

1

Anonymous #1 3w

Okay then let’s agree to disagree

1

Anonymous #3 3w

In America society it still very much is patriarchal. Not intrinsically, no. And plenty of college aged women date guys that old lol

1

Anonymous #3 3w

Okay

1