Girl Talk on Sidechat | just found out my boyfriend is republican and super pro-life/anti abortion. we have friends of all different races and sexualities that he loves and respects so this is a surprise to me. he treats me the best I've ever been treated idk what to do.

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Girl Talk 11w

just found out my boyfriend is republican and super pro-life/anti abortion. we have friends of all different races and sexualities that he loves and respects so this is a surprise to me. he treats me the best I've ever been treated idk what to do.

Anonymous 11w

If he’s anti abortion and Republican, you may want to reassess things because that certainly says something about how he respect you as a woman and your rights :(

Anonymous 11w

I’m so sorry But genuinely how do you not have a deep discussion about politics before you get into a relationship

Anonymous 11w

I know this may be hard but especially if he’s pro life I would consider breaking up with him. This is a sexual partner and it would worry me that if he does get you pregnant and god forbid something happens or you’re just not ready and he wouldn’t “let” you get one. Or other awful things men do to their girlfriends. Like im not trying to scare you or anything but in my opinion that’s is kind of a scary situation to be in with a sexual partner. I’m so really negative and I always think the worst

Anonymous 11w

It's important to have a conversation with him about his views. You might find out he's an extreme republican who can't understand the abortion law ( a breakup might be in the works for such different core values) or he's a republican on some levels and chooses pro life for himself and not someone who preaches it to others or hate women to have a choice.

Anonymous 11w

It sounds like you guys just need to have a conversation about values and what it means for your future together. If he treats you as good as you say then don’t jump into large decisions. Talk about it adult to adult. I’m conservative and have zero issues getting along with everyone. I’ve had an ex even more conservative than I am and it didn’t work out after we truly spoke about our future desires together.

Anonymous 11w

This just in!!! All republicans don’t hate everyone who isn’t a straight white male. Alert the press this is HUGE!

Anonymous 11w

If he’s truly right-wing, he doesn’t actually love/respect others, he’s pretending to to get close to someone because he knows he won’t be as palatable otherwise. If he doesn’t support autonomy, he is a danger.

Anonymous 11w

Honestly a lot of men are republican just bc they are supposed to be so I’d find out where he actually lies but if he’s like REPUBLICAN republican I would consider leaving him just bc I know from first hand experience due to my parents what that looks like and it’s not fun

Anonymous

#3 11w

-Is going to happen. So take that into account and this is just would I would do if I was in your situation

Anonymous

#3 11w

I agree, because if he isn’t willing to support women having autonomy of their own bodies how can you trust him to respect yours?

Anonymous

#5 11w

You just need to talk about it and come to your own conclusion about your future goals, values, and desires with him. We can’t choose for you.

Anonymous

#1 11w

Exactly! Same thing with her friends. He may respect them to their face but who knows what he really thinks about queer people as a whole

Anonymous

#6 11w

this is probably the best response I’ve gotten on this post. I agree, I think I need to hear from him just where he stands on the spectrum of pro-life, I plan on asking him the next time I see him. if he believes all women no matter what circumstances should not have access to abortions it is definitely over, if it’s just his own personal take and he does understand the grey areas of the issue I can definitely see his opinion and respect it.

Anonymous

#6 11w

thank you so much for writing this out for me, this has actually helped me so much on planning on how to handle this situation.

Anonymous

#1 11w

oh definitely. I’ve been thinking about it all day (the convo happened last night). I plan on asking him just where he stands on the spectrum of pro-life, as I do understand part of the argument but if he believes women do not deserve any autonomy regarding abortion no matter what circumstances it is definitely over.

Anonymous

#6 11w

I agree 100%. Not everyone who is pro life gets on soap boxes and shames women. Sometimes it’s just a personal value. A conversation simply needs to be had. You got my point across much clearer than I did lol

Anonymous

#3 11w

agreed, I plan on asking him just what he means by “pro-life” the next time we see each other. I’ll probably even throw in a “what-if” scenario so he realizes how real it truly is.

Anonymous

OP 11w

The “what if” scenarios are very important. I’m pro-life in the sense that I would not have one myself unless it was medically necessary. But my ex told me if it was me or the baby he would let me die. It’s very important you learn to what extent your partner is pro-life.

Anonymous

#3 11w

the ironic thing with him is he is so respectful to all other people. the reason I started dating him is that he was always nice to me and all others in high school no matter what race, sexuality, SES, you name it. as crazy as this may sound, I am not worried about how he feels about/treats my friends because it’s all been positive. what I am worried about is the control aspect of his views being pro-life. I will definitely be confronting that asap

Anonymous

#5 11w

thank you for your responses, it is very helpful hearing from a red pov as I myself am very much blue.

Anonymous

#5 11w

and I agree, it does really matter what his views mean for our future. I plan on confronting this asap

Anonymous

OP 11w

Of course! I think perspective is a very important thing to have especially when it comes to things like this

Anonymous

OP 11w

I think you have the right mindset going into this. I’ve dated blue and I’ve dated red. This kind of topic has always been a huge dealbreaker for me since a lot of people are either extremely one side or extremely the other with no room for change. Overall, it’s your health and that’s what matters most. If he’s someone willing to put that in danger, no matter the circumstances then you know what you need to know.

Anonymous

#5 11w

jeez. I’m really sorry that you had that experience, but thank you for sharing it as it’s making me really the potential severity of my situation. bringing up the “what if” scenario will probably make or break it.

Anonymous

#5 11w

agreed. seriously thank you for all of your advice, I’ll definitely have it in mind when I go into the conversation.

Anonymous

OP 11w

Don’t be sorry lol I’m glad I didn’t procreate with him. It’s a very eye opening debate. You can agree to disagree on things but things like that will show you how much he values your life

Anonymous

#5 11w

true, good for you for getting out of that relationship. If I need to I will too

Anonymous

#5 10w

update: we talked about it and he said that because he is a man, it isn’t up to him and never should be (thank god). in other words he is just pro life in his opinions, but understands other circumstances/situations and why one may get an abortion, and would never want to prevent anyone from having a choice. safe to say we are good now

Anonymous

#6 10w

update: we talked about it and he said that because he is a man, it isn't up to him and never should be (thank god). in other words he is just pro life in his opinions, but understands other circumstances/situations and why one may get an abortion, and would never want to prevent anyone from having a choice. safe to say we are good now

Anonymous

#9 10w

Anonymous

#8 10w

Anonymous

#1 10w