Anonymous #1 47w

Like I’m listening to a podcast called anti racism school because I want to be more educated so I can be a better ally but is that just because I want black people to like me??? And then is that manipulate???? And/or is it racist????

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Anonymous #1 47w

Or or or or I sometimes slip into using aave when I’ve been exclusively hanging out with my black friends bcos I just pick it up and sometimes I don’t realize it’s aave. I try to avoid using aave that I’m aware is aave but there’s many things that I learned much after it’d been absorbed into my vocabulary

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Anonymous verysad 47w

Girl 😭 my psychiatrist told me I have ocd and at first I didn’t rlly believe her but every day somebody tells me something that makes me go 🧐

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Anonymous verysad 47w

Not you bullying me fkrjdjwlwlg

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Yes!! That’s the basis of my question I think. White people are inherently racist because of the internal biases we have to unlearn. But how tf do I unlearn them if they were installed in me as an inherent function of our society?? N I don’t wanna ask my black friends if they’ve noticed anything because I don’t want to increase the burden of racism they face

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Anonymous OP 47w

Girl that is definitely your OCD. The intrusive thoughts of what if I’m secretly a bad person are classic ocd

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Anonymous #4 47w

It would be worth bringing up to your therapist even for that reason

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I’m basically asking if it’s okay to combine the two? I wouldn’t ask a white therapist if she thought I was secretly racist because how would she fuckin know, but would it be racist for my to ask a black therapist?? B

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Anonymous #4 47w

This actually makes me feel so much better about bringing it up to her bcos I’d wanna ask a white therapist too, though I do still think the black therapist would have a more accurate answer based on her lived experiences but maybe that’s racist idk 😭

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Wait I’m sorry 😭 are you saying that I shouldn’t be worried about asking her or I should be worried but just not as worried as I am

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Okay also sorry can I ask, is it an OCD thing that I’m worried that I’m only volunteering as virtuesignalling and not because I dont know it but I secretly don’t care about the right things?

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Anonymous OP 47w

Google scrupulosity ocd and see if it sounds like you

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Anonymous #4 47w

More on the morality part of it than the religious side

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Anonymous #4 47w

Thank you so much for this 😭 it hurts to learn I might have another brand of crazy than I was aware of lol but it makes me feel a lot better to know that it might just be in my brain and not actually that I’m a horrible person. And maybe I won’t always feel this way.

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Anonymous OP 47w

If it helps- Just as a general rule MOST bad people don’t spend hours of their life worrying about if they’re a bad person. They’re just bad people. The fact that you worry means you actually care about being a good person

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