
i hate to say it, but i’m really glad i never reported my rapist. i know perfectly well that i would’ve been accused of lying or falsely accusing him because i “regretted it.” she’s so much stronger than me because i know i wouldn’t have been able to handle that even on a small scale.
Everyone saying she’s a wh*re and only reporting it because she regretted it, poor girl probably didn’t even know about the pictures sent until it was too late or the announcement inviting other men and putting her in such a dangerous position. I’m sick to my stomach because I’d hate for other young ladies be silenced because of the treatment Jane Doe is getting
Most survivors can understand the perspective of not fully understanding what happened to you (especially if you were intoxicated or drugged) until sometime after it actually happened. I feel like people are only discrediting her for that because they have the fortune of not ever having gone through that
i’m right there with you, i chose not to report because i knew it would just result in me being blamed and shamed publicly with zero justice. i was drugged on a tinder date that i willingly went on, by a guy that i probably would have willingly gone home with if the night had gone well. what i didnt consent to was being drugged, taken somewhere, and assaulted while unconscious but i just couldn’t see anyone caring about that part.
and since it took me a few days to realize what actually happened, i had no evidence. these kind of cases are so hard to hear people speculate about because, while my situation was definitely not the same as hers in magnitude, i am jane doe. hearing people say she deserved it or asked for it feels like hearing them say i did
i went over to his house for a hookup and i’m the one that was pursuing him. if i would have reported what happened, they would’ve seen me sexting him and telling him i was excited to be coming over. but nobody was there when i was uncomfortable and said i wanted to leave, or when he pressured me into smoking with him. i never consented to him refusing to give me my clothes back until i let him have sex with me.
it took me weeks to fully understand what happened to me because i thought that it was my fault for going to his house in the first place (which everyone is now confirming en masse). i tried to talk to a few people about what happened to me and got told that it was consensual and that he’s not a rapist and he would never do that. 🙃 i’m so sorry for what happened to you and thank you for sharing your story with me. i hope you’re doing okay because it’s really fucking hard to be okay right now