Anonymous #3 4w

As someone who did foodservice and retail in college not all jobs are easy 😭 but yes men who say ts are cornballs

82

Anonymous #5 4w

i don’t think that’s relevant to the post

53

Anonymous #5 4w

No i didn’t, but i also don’t care he just randomly showed up on my fyp. What is the relevancy

41

Anonymous #5 4w

Why does that matter?

22

Anonymous #3 4w

Bc trans men suffer more than cis men do so using this image of a trans man as a focal point for your post when you literally could’ve just left it without a picture shows that you have transphobic tendencies

-16

Anonymous #5 4w

I think that it’s a screenshot from a video that a trans man posted with this caption 💀

31

Anonymous #5 4w

…ok and trans men would also have to work regardless of if they have a family or not. so what now

19

Anonymous #5 4w

Right so i didn’t write this caption lol it was HIS video i screenshotted, i literally said i had no idea he was trans until so you said something

33

Anonymous #5 4w

A trans man is a man.

11

Anonymous #5 4w

What in the CIA operative is this take 😭

26

Anonymous #5 4w

I’m a trans man and idk what you’re yapping abt tbh

14

Anonymous #7 4w

no exactly. my bf only worked his scheduled hrs before we met. after seeing me struggle trying to balance school and a full time job, he chose to start picking up more hours so i could catch a break without worrying about the money. he’s sacrificing his time and energy for mine and i only wish my dad would have been like that for my mom so she didn’t have to drop out.

50

Anonymous #7 4w

Obviously each person is going to be different. But on average an adult will have a full time job regardless of if they have kids or not. My dad and mom both worked regular full time jobs to support us growing up. The WAY they spend their money is a sacrifice, but not the fact that they have a job and have to make money, because they’d have been doing that regardless if they had me and my siblings or not

13

Anonymous #13 4w

My Dad broke his back for me and my sister to send us to school. Woke up at 6am, worked till 8pm everyday. Sometimes later. Only got Sunday off but he still went in on Sunday sometimes, but for less hours. I don’t think he was crazy for expecting my mother, who stayed home with us and didn’t work, to have dinner ready when he was home 🤷‍♀️

26

Anonymous #5 4w

This is a hard reach 💀. You’re not doing the trans community any favors by inventing reasons to be offended

16

Anonymous #13 4w

Thats not what this post is saying and im sorry if you felt personally attacked for me not specifying every situation this may or may not apply to. If your dad ACTUALLY sacrificed most of his life for you and your family to exist, working more than a REGULAR full time job, then obviously im not talking about you. However, my dad worked a regular 40 hours a week full time job, he had free time, he had special interests, etc. he would have had to have that job regardless if he had kids or not

22

Anonymous #13 4w

The fact my dad chose to have kids and spend his money supporting us instead of something else IS a sacrifice, but spending his time working a full time job is literally something he’d have been doing regardless of me and my siblings

22

Anonymous #4 4w

Literally like I work at a Dunkin. I would rather house chores than serve entitled ppl all day

30

Anonymous OP 4w

Yea each person is ofc going to be different and have different income, but IMO, a single person has the freedom to quit a toxic environment or take a career risk because they are the only ones who suffer if it fails. a lot of parents "sacrifice” their mental health by staying in a soul-crushing job specifically because they cannot risk to lose their job solely for the benefit of their kids. yes they’re both essential working the same job, but the sacrifices are so different

24

Anonymous OP 4w

And he would have been able to spend the money on other stuff for himself instead of on you and your siblings if you didn’t exist. Like you said. Thats the point. He gave up on those other things for you. Then you grow up and most a post like this :/. Bit of a spit in the face to your own Dad. And I do understand there are lazy men and bums, not lets not make light of the sacrifices the men who raised us made, and the many other men like them.

22

Anonymous #13 4w

And this logic behind this post doesn’t even really apply to just men? A man and women both give things up to raise kids. Are you trying to argue women give up more?

19

Anonymous #13 4w

women absolutely give up more are you joking? who pushes the baby out? who GROWS it for nine months using nutrients from her own body? who has to breastfeed? not to mention allllllll the societal expectations that come along with motherhood that fathers do not experience

18

Anonymous #13 4w

If you read the first sentence of what i said, i literally said that. My dad had a full time job before i was born, and he had one after. He did not give up anything to continue to have a job. He DID sacrifice how he was spending his money to take care of me and my brothers, the same way my mom did. It is not a spit in the face to him, he raised me to be the woman i am today. He raised me to give credit where its due. MY dad knows how much i love him

15

Anonymous #1 4w

Both give up their lives but in different ways. The issue with people like you is that you all for some reason see the other gender of an enemy. I also never said women gave less, I was clarifying if that was what the post was claiming. In my case, my Dad gave up more than my Mom. But Im just one case. To claim one gender gives up more than the other, when there are many different variables and situations between the billions of members of each gender, is just ignorance.

-5

Anonymous #13 4w

I mean yes i think socially and physically women absolutely give up more to be a mom and raise kids. But yes i mean the logic can also apply to working moms. My mom did not give up anything to CONTINUE to have a job. She had one before i was born, she continued to have one after i was born. She did not sacrifice her time to have a job BECAUSE of me and my siblings because she already had a job before we were a thought

14

Anonymous OP 4w

If you read the second sentence of what I said, I literally acknowledge you said that 🤷‍♀️

-7

Anonymous #13 4w

So then what was the relevancy of repeating what i said if it added to nothing lmfao

14

Anonymous #13 4w

…you’re making some real crazy assumptions about me that im just gonna ignore lol but if you’re really trying to argue that working more hours and LITERALLY giving birth are equivalent i genuinely don’t know what else i can say to you. if you personally think they give up an equal amount you’re free to do that but when both men and women work and the only difference is a woman risking her health and life to give birth, which is the case for the majority of families, yeah lol women give up more

11

Anonymous #14 4w

no one “providing for the household” is working at dunkin. they’re working a fake job where they answer emails and get fooled by ai dog videos all day

-16

Anonymous #1 4w

No fr, like women still die in childbirth, pregnancy can come with many horrible complications, and on average do so much more domestic labor while also contributing to the family financially, Idk why people think their personal situation is universal

14

Anonymous OP 4w

To add emphasis on the fact that you yourself say your father made sacrifices to raise you, so I can’t understand why you made this post or the point you were making. So then I asked for clarification on where you were coming from.

-4

Anonymous #3 4w

Yeah this just isn’t true

34

Anonymous #13 4w

Literally in what capacity did my post say my dad or any dad “doesn’t make sacrifices” for their kids at ALL. Re READ what the post says, like the actual words on the screen so you can understand, if you still need clarification after then happy to provide that

15

Anonymous #1 4w

Then we just disagree 🤷‍♀️. I think men and women give up give up an equal amount in different ways because men and women are fundamentally different. I made that assumption because I you immediately took what I said and made it a man vs women thing when thats not even what I was trying to get at

2

Anonymous #9 4w

exactly!!!!! and women still have to hide their pregnancy when applying for jobs bc of discrimination when expecting fathers have never and will never have to even consider that

11

Anonymous #1 4w

Thats a great point. Thats one struggle women have. Men have struggles too that women will never have to deal with. Thats all im trying to say. I dislike how everything and everyone seems to be this gender does more and this gender does less. Why can’t we just acknowledge we both struggle, and in acknowledging that, come together and help one another?

-5

Anonymous #13 4w

if you took me saying women risk and give up more due to the fact we’re the ones that are pregnant and give birth as a man vs woman thing that’s a you problem. i’m not putting men down by acknowledging what women have to go through to have a family and the fact you took it that way is very telling

22

Anonymous OP 4w

I was reading the implications of the post. Not your own personal story. You are just so insistent on misunderstanding me.

-5

Anonymous #13 4w

okay so do you not understand what this post was about? this was literally just saying that men who work a full time job PRIOR to having a child are not sacrificing anything by CONTINUING to work at that job after having one, especially if they continue to work the same hours. bc they would have to do that anyway. we also can’t do that bc when it’s pointed out how women genuinely DO give up more, you’re immediately on the defensive

19

Anonymous #13 4w

The implications of the post is like literally exactly what it says, theres no underlying implications. You literally gave your own personal story in your very first comment to disagree with me??

13

are you asking me if i’m also cooking/cleaning and working?

74

Anonymous #13 4w

“Men and women are fundamentally different” i have so much to say about this loaded phrase has been used to keep women down time and time again but I’m sure OP was the one that made this a man v woman thing by not considering your specific situation

8

i’m not saying his job is easier, i’m saying his life is easier bc on top of working a job, the domestic labor of cooking/cleaning is most of the time shifted onto the woman. majority of women and mothers are ALSO working and then are ALSO expected to do those tasks

132

Anonymous #1 4w

Double Shift phenomenon! Where women have the right to work (and unfortunately NEED to because of the economy), but are still expected to be full-time housewives and mothers

151

ok and is the moon also made of cheese? since we’re talking about things that have no relevancy to the actual topic at hand

53

The majority of women in this country are working full time jobs, its not financially viable for most families to solely rely off of one income in this economy, so stay at home moms are a minority and often do so because childcare would cost more than they would be making

46

Anonymous #1 4w

It kinda does cause you commented about cooking and cleaning as if women don’t have to do that while single

-15

Anonymous #16 4w

yes. that’s my point. men and women have to cook and clean for themselves while single. so if within a family BOTH people are working and only ONE is doing the domestic tasks for TWO PEOPLE, that means one person’s life is made MUCH EASIER because they do not have that responsibility anymore, while the other person’s life is made MUCH HARDER

52

Anonymous #1 4w

Acting like there aren’t men you can’t get with that will cook too

-14

Anonymous #16 4w

ok then my comment doesn’t apply to them. i’m so glad we were able to figure this out together

34

Anonymous #1 4w

Almost like instead of standing on a high horse about men having things easier you could’ve just cleared up the part about when it’s a women doing both as opposed to not working

-14

Anonymous #16 4w

can i be really honest? i genuinely thought you’d be smart enough to know i was talking about when both people are working considering i clarified that in one of the first replies i made to you. i really truly thought you’d be able to puzzle that out yourself instead of bringing up a completely different scenario that had nothing to do with what’s being talked about in this actual post

56

Anonymous #16 4w

You cannot act like you’re some victim here after deciding to say that snarky shit after all your clarifying questions were answered

39

Anonymous #1 4w

Well there’s less people to cook and clean for if you’re single

12

Anonymous #15 4w

if you were working at dunkin your spouse would also be working

-7

Anonymous #9 4w

None of it was snarky till the last comment, you just interpreted it that way.

-11

Anonymous #9 4w

I didn’t use it to put down women. Im sure that phrase has been used like that, but just because some people say that phrase as an excuse to be shitty doesn’t make it false. Also i brought up my situation to help OP realize they were being ignorant. But yall just kinda ran with that and made a bunch of assumptions I never explicitly said :/

-5

Anonymous #13 4w

Im not being ignorant LMFAO you’re not even trying to engage in the conversation in a productive way. I said if you need clarification on the actual point of the post, i’d be happy to clarify. But take it at face value, because thats exactly what it is. Theres no underlying meaning

10

Anonymous #16 4w

Exactly what I was referring to, glad we’re on the same page even if your interpretation of my interpretation was off 🤗

24

Anonymous #7 4w

Realistically no adult can work 20 hours and survive. Most adults work 40 hours regardless if they have kids or not

16

Anonymous #13 4w

You brought up your situation from the start because its an exception of the average situation people are discussing, you aren’t understanding that any “fundamental difference” doesn’t dismiss that the avg woman are not only contributing with pregnancy, delivery, and domestic labor but also working full time just like their husbands, you’re using the phrase to persuade ppl to accept inequality in this context

10

Anonymous #9 4w

And that’s not an assumption, on the other hand calling people man haters for just pointing this out..

6

Anonymous #22 4w

since doordash is a gig job you can decide how many hours to work. most jobs are a set 40 hours.

15

Anonymous #22 4w

Im talking about people who work regular 40 hour full time jobs

12

Anonymous #3 4w

You when no brain cells were able to form a thought that restaurants still need a manager 💀 you couldn’t last 1 day running a floor while doing inventory, being timed by the second from open til close, handling cash, etc. Your type of thinking would literally run a business to the ground 💀

8

Anonymous #3 4w

yo my manager at dunkin made over 50k/yr. I made $15/hr as an assistant manager and got a mandatory 5hrs of overtime every week. not every food service job is $12/hr 30hrs a week stfu

7

Anonymous OP 4w

I mean yeah that’s fair but even then your set 40 hours could mean you have enough money for 2 vacations a year, whatever car you want and go out to eat whenever you want. Add a child to the mix and sure you work the same hours but now you have a mini van, 1 family weekend vacation and you have to cook every night. I think y’all misunderstand the average cost to raise a child per year in the cheapest state is minimum 20,000$. That’s a used car every year. No matter what it will be a sacrifice

5

Anonymous #12 3w

Dawg I make even more than that 😭

6

Anonymous #12 3w

Ppl really don’t realize fast food is still a career if you got into management

8

Anonymous #22 3w

HOW you spend your money after having kids is a sacrifice, not the fact you work a job. You were already using that time to work a job before you had kids, you’re gonna use that time after having kids. You did not make a sacrifice working a 40 hour a week job after having kids if you already had one/were going to have one

0

Anonymous #12 3w

50k/yr is not enough to support a family. both parents would be working if one was making 50k.

-1

Anonymous #3 3w

It depends where you’re living. There are definitely places in the us where you can have a family on 50k. It’s not going to be easy but I know people who grew up like that. My brother was providing for his wife and daughter on 21k a year for a few years. He’s making like 40k now and doing much better and has another daughter

2

Anonymous OP 3w

This is all quite ridiculous, but maybe this will help you understand. 40 hour a week job with no kids I get the job at 25, stay 20 years saving and investing (how I spend my money) and retire at 45 with plenty to last my lifestyle well into my 80s. 40 hour a week job with kids, stay 40 years saving and investing less (because children) and retire at 65. Sure same job same hours, just you know 20 extra years of working. “Is sacrificing nothing” though.

3

Anonymous #22 3w

People in America are not retiring at 45 lmfao unless those 20 years you spent working you just lived to save money. There are a plethora of different factors that affect you being able to retire at 45, do you live alone, do you live in a house or apartment, what kind of job do you have and how much money do you make, do you have a car, where in america do you live where this would be feasible

8

Anonymous #7 3w

I know someone who brags about having no one and nothing to come home to and he’s still complaining about money issues and complains about doing his job. All ik is that no matter what they’ll find a way to spend that money whether it’s on themselves or others

1

Anonymous #14 3w

by this logic tho. the person is working to survive and is sacrificing their own time for work. You can’t even think about kids in a situation like that let alone work that same full time job. if i wanted kids i would have to sacrifice more time and space. every single person will spend money on themselves or for others because that’s a natural.

1