Girl Talk on Sidechat | Got in a disagreement with my bf yesterday abt how he doesn't speak up if his friends say messed up stuff and it really upset me. I think he's a good person but tbh I wish he was better about this. I used to say I'd never date someone who does that but

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Girl Talk 21h

Got in a disagreement with my bf yesterday abt how he doesn't speak up if his friends say messed up stuff and it really upset me. I think he's a good person but tbh I wish he was better about this. I used to say I'd never date someone who does that but

Anonymous 19h

it's hard to look past this bc by letting his friends say fucked up shit, and choosing to stay friends with them he's enabling them. it's a sign of immaturity and idk if i could look past it

Anonymous 21h

When you love someone it's so easy to start letting things slide. And I do get that him speaking up might cause discomfort or awkwardness with his friends which I totally empathize with. Especially guys who have been there for him for years and are important to him. And we're human you have to make allowances no one is perfect but it's hard. I used to think I'd never date a man who wouldn't speak up but here I am now. And it upsets me. How do I reconcile the two?

Anonymous

#1 19h

just a fundamental value that we wouldn't be aligned on

Anonymous

#1 17h

Yeah I actually totally agree and prior to dating him I always would have said this too. Love is a crazy drug though and when it actually comes down to it this is harder to follow through on. I do think he's a good person and doesn't actually agree with these things himself but we've had extensive conversations about how what he is willing to let alide ultimately sends the message that he's okay with it. I'm hoping to see a change in his behavior

Anonymous

OP 17h

don't let ur rose colored glasses blind u to ur values and standards. best of luck with this situation