Girl Talk on Sidechat | Hot take: ADHD is not an all encompassing excuse to be a bad friend or partner idc

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Girl Talk 14w

Hot take: ADHD is not an all encompassing excuse to be a bad friend or partner idc

49 upvotes, 19 comments. Sidechat image post by Anonymous in Girl Talk. "Hot take: ADHD is not an all encompassing excuse to be a bad friend or partner idc"

Anonymous 14w

nah i think this is a real part of long distance in college. sometimes it’s crippling and sometimes you’re so wrapped up in everything that you barely think about how much you’d like to be with your partner

Anonymous 14w

I have horrible adhd (tested in the 92nd percentile for overall symptoms) and i miss my boyfriend like CRAAAAZY. Like 3 hours before he even leaves i get so sad

💕

Anonymous 14w

if they wanted to they would 👏 rules i live by

Anonymous 14w

as someone that was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 years old, i can somewhat understand where they’re coming from. HOWEVER, this doesn’t mean you ignore people and cut them off. i think they’re confusing their lack of interaction/interest with ADHD when they’re two totally different things. i definitely miss people and i also like being alone but i still make sure i’m there for my friends. as someone with ADHD learning good communication skills is something that’s necessary because it’s harder 1/2

Anonymous 14w

this might be true for THEIR adhd but not mine 😭 i miss people so bad

Anonymous 14w

I have adhd and miss people all the time. But I do agree #7, adhd is a disability that impacts our ability to COMMUNICATE. Like you have no idea how many times I’ve cried wishing I could communicate normally. How angry I’ve been at myself, when I’ve let someone down or didn’t live up to their expectations of me. How I’ve angry cried not understanding why I couldn’t just “change” like they expected me too...

Anonymous 14w

I was long distance for two years of college and have been again for like three months, we talk on the phone like every two weeks 🤷‍♀️ idk if it’s adhd or just bc we’re secure and know we’re both busy

Anonymous 14w

Wait but why are we not addressing that having a breakdown like that is not healthy?

Anonymous

#2 14w

and when u finally get a moment to breathe it's all u think about tbh

Anonymous

#4 14w

However i also have BPD soooo

Anonymous

#2 14w

I think sending a text to a partner once a day isn’t too much. Everyone has different schedules but I mean that’s barely anything

Anonymous

OP 14w

no one said that

Anonymous

moonlightbae 14w

it’s harder for us than it is for NT people. ADHD can be an explanation for something but it’s not an excuse to be a shitty friend just like any other neurodevelopmental disorder.

Anonymous 14w

correct. i was privileged enough to get diagnosed early, however even if you get diagnosed as an adult i also still recommend those people do therapies and other things to improve their communication and the way they interact with people. adhd effects your day to day life and it’s important to help yourself as much as you can. :)

Anonymous

moonlightbae 14w

and i’m not saying people with specific personality traits and/or ADHD, etc are failures at all either but i myself have felt that way SEVERAL times and it’s awful.

Anonymous

#9 14w

This disability has ruined my life in more ways than I can count, and unfortunately I’m also one of those people who are just finding out I have adhd. The relief I feel knowing there’s a name for why I do what I do. a reason that everything I’ve tried to “fix” hasn’t worked. I have a long road ahead. And treatment plans aren’t always perfect or linear. and it’s not an overnight thing.

Anonymous

#9 14w

I’d rather be alone than be around someone who can’t sympathize with my disability. The fact I disappointed you, let you down again, forgot something important, forgot to message you back, was too overwhelmed to reach out etc- hurts me far more than it hurts you. I never intended to hurt you. And I hate I can’t bounce back or learn from it the way you do-like a normal person does. And it hurts that I cant even communicate it correctly or show you by my actions.

Anonymous

#9 14w

All you hear is excuses -and all I see is helplessness and hopelessness. nobody understands me.

Anonymous 14w

i just don’t see how someone could look from the outside and decide what your friend/partner should or shouldn’t be okay with when they ARE. you’re not being a bad friend or partner if this is what works for you both