Anonymous OP 10w

and our anniversary is this week but i’m honestly burnt out from the emotional highs and lows and i also miss him because the only time i see him are these family events but i know he has a lot going on and is grieving a lot too

4

Anonymous OP 10w

also we’ve had this ongoing trend of him being bad at planning things during our relationship which is usually fine, but the mental load from this month plus our anniversary coming is amplifying it and i’m just tired

1

Anonymous OP 10w

he had a really cute idea for an anniversary date activity but then didn’t do a lot of research into it and i ended up having to figure out all the supplies and stuff, its little things like that that add up and make me worried for the future when we have kids and he doesn’t think past the basic idea of if

1

Anonymous OP 10w

he’s so sweet though and he takes care of me so well, i’m just an over thinker and I truly think I have undiagnosed OCD for a variety of reasons which doesn’t help

1

Anonymous OP 10w

i don’t wanna go tomorrow i love his family but i just want us because i miss us

1

Anonymous OP 10w

i talked to him about it the planning stuff today and he said he didn’t even realize he did it but that i was right and he would try to better but im worried hes gonna forget

1

Anonymous OP 10w

i self reflect on my emotions a lot and am very self aware when it comes to what i’m doing and why i’m doing it, but he’s not and im worried it makes us incomparable on an emotional intelligence level

1

Comment Deleted

0

i’m still going to go obviously i just miss being able to spend time with him alone, especially with our anniversary coming up

1

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous OP 10w

and it’s also stuff like he didn’t know what time the event was tomorrow so i asked him to find out and then he told me the time, so i asked what time we were leaving tomorrow so he told me the start time for the event, and i was like no when are we LEAVING,

1

Anonymous OP 10w

it’s just all the extra steps needed to get to the answer i don’t understand where the disconnect is

1

2 years

1

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous OP 10w

i’m just tired and spiraling atp, i love him so much but i get into spirals about what if im with the wrong person and what if im doing all the mental load in the future and stuff like that, again i really think i have OCD but that’s a whole other thing

1

Anonymous OP 10w

i just want to anxiety to stop and to be not mentally tired and to spend time with him just us

1

i absolutely understand i’m not going to be a priority, it’s just the events like the wedding and engagement party on top of that and trying to be the perfect person in front of his family

1

Anonymous OP 10w

and the whiplash from big happy event to massive sad event and trying to support him through the grief and then 2 days later suddenly happy event again

1

Comment Deleted

0

i don’t mean us as like a single operating unit, i just mean us alone together and getting to spend time the two of us

1

Anonymous OP 10w

i think the 4th of july was the last time we got to sleep in the same bed and the last time we had sex was even longer than that

1

Comment Deleted

0

and because these are all events where i’m meeting and interacting with his extended family for the first time i DO feel like i have to be perfect while also supporting him bc he has social anxiety and gets overwhelmed when he has to socialize with a large group of people for a long time

1

Comment Deleted

0

i know that, and i of course absolutely understand everything going on this week and have been supporting him and helping him as much as possible

1

Anonymous OP 10w

this thread is just like the culmination of the past month and a half of his job taking a toll on our relationship plus the stress of our anniversary coming up and also the pressure of meeting so much of his extended family from both sides in a single month plus the massive horribly life event of him losing his grandma

1

Anonymous OP 10w

of course i understand the grieving, it’s a horrible loss and i’m so sad for him, my emotions rn are a cumulative of that plus everything else

1

that’s what i’m doing and that’s why i’m just ranting about it anonymously here on an app i never even use anymore, im just tsar and mentally drained while also doing my best

1

we do long distance during the school year and now we’re in person and it’s supposed to be great but he can only spend the night together once a weekend because he has work at a job he hates at 7am and when he gets home from work he’s tired and half checked out mentally and it’s like doing long distance all over again

1