Girl Talk on Sidechat | sometimes i feel like im responsible for some future woman’s assault because i couldn’t tell anybody about him when we were kids and now he’s literally a physical therapist.. did he go into that field because he enjoyed hurting me so much?

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Girl Talk 6d

sometimes i feel like im responsible for some future woman’s assault because i couldn’t tell anybody about him when we were kids and now he’s literally a physical therapist.. did he go into that field because he enjoyed hurting me so much?

Anonymous 6d

I feel that way too bc I didn’t acknowledge what happened to me when it happened

Anonymous 6d

oh god i struggle with this so bad. like genuinely there is nothing to do bc it happened when i was a kid and there’s no proof but it makes me feel so sick sometimes :(

Anonymous 6d

there’s nothing i can do. there’s no evidence i could send to his med board. he’s just going to hurt more people and it’s gonna be my fault cause i was too scared to even tell my mom and now it’s too late to do anything

Anonymous 6d

when you say you were kids, was it a case of cocsa?

Anonymous

OP 6d

it’s not your fault. you can’t control what he does, everything he does is entirely his decision. and you were a scared child in a trauma response. you would understand why anyone else in your shoes kept quiet, so try to give yourself the same grace

Anonymous

#3 6d

yeah. he was a year older than me (and my cousin 🙁)

Anonymous

#3 6d

i do try to. but when he hurts somebody else, could that have been avoided if i had evidence and had spoken up? i can’t forgive myself no matter how hard i try

Anonymous

OP 5d

in that situation, it’s possible he no longer acts that way. it’s common for perpetrators of cocsa to have also been abused in some form. that does not make what they did okay by any means! however i’d say there’s a higher chance that he realized what happened and wouldn’t do it again than it would be if he was an adult or teenager at the time. which again, doesn’t make your trauma any less real or important.

Anonymous

OP 5d

i’m so sorry that you’re holding the blame for violence that was committed against you. it’s not your fault. you can’t change the past, you can’t miraculously have gotten evidence. what happened to you was wrong but none of it was your fault and you hold no responsibility for any of it

Anonymous

#3 5d

no, i understand that’s a common explanation but he was not himself hurt. this went on until we were in high school. he called me practice for his future girlfriend. he chose to do it all because he was bigger and he was boy/nana’s favorite so she would take his side if i ever sought help.

Anonymous

OP 5d

oh i’m sorry, i didn’t understand the context then. i saw you just said she would take his side if you tried to get help! exactly, that’s why you didn’t say anything, because you knew it would just cause you more pain. i’m not trying to tell you to get over it or not be upset at all, i just hope you can one day forgive yourself for something someone did to you, and have some grace for your little self who was just trying to survive🤍