Girl Talk on Sidechat | I think society is trying to condition women into being providers in relationships. There’s a lot of men that now refuse to pay for dates, or pay for Ubers to get you to or from the location of the date. It’s really rubbing me the wrong way.

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Girl Talk 1d

I think society is trying to condition women into being providers in relationships. There’s a lot of men that now refuse to pay for dates, or pay for Ubers to get you to or from the location of the date. It’s really rubbing me the wrong way.

Anonymous 1d

Being in a relationship means deciding on what the terms of that relationship are going to be. If both people in that relationship agree to have one be the primary provider (whether that’s a man or woman), good for them. But it’s also someone’s right to decide if they want a relationship to be financially equal. If you disagree, clearly they aren’t the person for you and you should find someone else who aligns with your values.

Anonymous 1d

Yes men are co-opting equality by slowly making women the providers lol. They want you to slave away while they drink a beer and watch hockey with the baby

Anonymous 1d

In turn, be stable enough to never rely on a man and only date the ones who are stable themselves

Anonymous

#2 1d

And like a lot of these traditional ideas of mandatory financial chivalry are rooted in a misogynistic heteronormative society where women are not afforded employment opportunities. How is this supposed to work if she makes as much or more money than he does? Or in a gay relationship between two women or two men? Equality means people can choose what their relationship looks like.

Anonymous

#2 1d

thank youuuuuu

Anonymous

#2 1d

Well tbh if a woman is with a man that she outearns she’s not the smartest in my opinion. In gay relationships I’d think whoever’s the masculine one.

-3

Anonymous

OP 23h

“Whoever’s the masculine one” babe I think you’ve misunderstood the point of a gay relationship and fallen into the “which one’s the girl?” logic which doesn’t hold up when you meet actual gay people

Anonymous

OP 23h

I think you’re falling into a lot of patriarchal beliefs without examining them. How are we supposed to eliminate the wage gap but also expect women to only date men who make more than them? There’s be a shortage of men based solely on income, not even on if they’re a good person or not. Do you think a high-earning doctor is “not the smartest” if she dates someone who doesn’t make as much as her?

Anonymous

#2 23h

Have you considered why this old expectation exists? The idea that men must pay for women comes from a time when women were expected to stay at home and not be in the workforce. The shift towards splitting the bill is a result of women now working and making money too.

Anonymous

#2 22h

It’s also just a terrible dynamic. There’s this old idea that men provide money in exchange for women providing sex. That just sucks. It portrays relationships as transactional, it creates an expectation that women must provide sex in exchange for gifts, and it treats women as non-sexual beings who only provide it in exchange for a man’s money. That all sucks.

Anonymous

#2 22h

And like #5 says, you can’t just go “well who is the man in the gay relationship” that’s not how that works

Anonymous

#2 21h

Well I don’t agree with the idea that women need to provide men with sex, but as a man, they should want to spoil the woman they’re with and reduce the financial struggles she has.

Anonymous

OP 20h

The thing is both partners should want to support each other in a relationship. That’s why it’s a partnership. Both people should do nice things for each other, both people should get gifts for each other. The problem is thinking it should only go one way and that’s the only way to do it.