Girl Talk on Sidechat | I genuinely think the “male loneliness epidemic” would be fixed if men saw each other the way women do, as collaborators not competitors.

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Girl Talk 10w

I genuinely think the “male loneliness epidemic” would be fixed if men saw each other the way women do, as collaborators not competitors.

223

Anonymous 10w

Like if men felt comfortable hyping each other up, being kind to each other, and being people who are safe to talk to the way women are for each other they’d be so much healthier, and much less predatory

Anonymous 10w

i agree but i think it has to be bigger than just like gender solidarity. there are so many women who do view other women as competitors or people who will pretend to be friendly to make backhanded comments or talk behind your back. patriarchy and capitalism split people up and put them against each other, even if women appear to have more solidarity, we’re still a long way off from where we need to be

Anonymous 10w

Yeah it seems like in large part its men not having supportive social circles. Hustle culture and its consequences

Anonymous 10w

Lmfao I agree! But i dont think it’s only men that are the problem! Women see other women as competitors, men see other men as collaborators. It’s all about the person not the gender.

Anonymous 10w

I’m a summer camp counselor and was telling one of my teen boys today that he needs to gain friendships. Genuine male friendship being scarce is why men are lonely. It’s not just that they have no partners, they aren’t socializing with each other. That’s where the true loneliness is, they have no community.

Anonymous 10w

And if they saw women as real people and not just objects to benefit them. But you’re point is really imperative

Anonymous 10w

Like the whole blame game that we have going on is not going to help or fix the situation at hand. Once people acknowledge that, positive change can actually take place.

Anonymous

#3 10w

So you don’t agree then

Anonymous

#4 10w

Did I not say I agree?🤣 I’m just saying it’s way more complex then it was put

Anonymous

#5 10w

Your*

Anonymous

#5 10w

Right! Like I said I agree. I think they should view us as people/equal but the fact of the matter is it goes both ways. Plenty of women see men as objects as well. IVE BEEN THAT WOMEN. So to say it’s only men that are the problem is problematic in itself

Anonymous

#3 10w

This is way more true than the post. Competition between women is also really high, and men absolutely collaborate with each other on a regular basis. Before someone opens their mouth to say what they think would work for the other gender, they should take the time to understand what the actual lived experience is like for that gender Like, I hate it when men say something about what women should do without first considering how unrealistic a thing would be if you were a walking sexual target

Anonymous

#6 10w

Ugh THANK YOU! like have we not learned by now?!

Anonymous

#2 10w

hit the nail on the head 🔥

Anonymous

#8 10w

a lot of it’s rooted in the culture of toxic masculinity, which is perpetuated implicitly by a majority of men. so someone resisting that culture naturally loses their guy friends & fails to connect with them. there’s a reason that healthy male friendships are so rare, and it’s more of a circumstance than a choice for most men

Anonymous

#7 10w

It’s really unfortunate too. Working with young boys has really made me change my view of men. They’re conditioned to be the way they are, and seeing the ones who aren’t falling for the lies hurts because they’re outcasted.. I’m really praying for these boys out here. As a whole society we need to protect our children, they’re being indoctrinated and they don’t know any better…

Anonymous

#7 10w

perfect example! just went to go pick up a pizza, and two men in their 30s-40s kept “bantering” by calling each other “fucking f**got.” a big part of toxic masculinity is insulting or belittling gay people & calling other men gay to legitimize their own masculinity & affirm their straightness. tons of male friendships involve shit like that, so I completely get why a lot of men who aren’t fully indoctrinated would want to get away from that 💀

Anonymous

#3 10w

This post blew up more than I thought it would lol. Reading people’s different perspectives has been really interesting. I do think my original statement is definitely a big generalization of the cultural expectations of men and women and not about individuals. I wasn’t trying to place all blame on men for anything, just point out that internal community is something a lot of men seem to lack, and is something that ends up hurting everyone.