Girl Talk on Sidechat | My friend keeps complaining about her bf and I don’t know how to tell her it’s exhausting hearing her complain about a genuinely good guy when I’ve been treated terribly by men in my past relationships.

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Girl Talk 4w

My friend keeps complaining about her bf and I don’t know how to tell her it’s exhausting hearing her complain about a genuinely good guy when I’ve been treated terribly by men in my past relationships.

Anonymous 4w

i totally get u, but it doesn’t feel right to compare her relationship to your past ones it almost feels like you’re trying to invalidate her negative experiences with him because of your perception of him and their relationship

Anonymous 4w

I’m really grateful that this is a positive experience for her overall, but as much as I want to support her, hearing her complain all the time is really hard. I think a part of it is jealousy, and I’m trying to work through that in therapy, but she got really upset and told me I was unsupportive when I told her I couldn’t give her advice on what to text him back bc I was writing an essay (before they were official)

Anonymous 4w

Does she tend to be a negative person overall? Or is it really just the boyfriend that she complains about?

Anonymous

#1 4w

I mean I totally understand it but it’s more like the way she speaks about him is kind of hard, the most recent example was that she was upset with him that he didn’t interact with her friends (us) and he was honest with her about the fact that he was just really shy and had a hard time because he didn’t know us, and to me, a young guy (21) being honest with her about why he was a little quiet is nice y’know, like I get her frustration, but I also see his side too

Anonymous

#1 4w

Tbf the only reason why i feel I have any sort of knowledge of their relationship is because she wants to show me every text, summarize every call, every date, etc, and I totally understand being excited!! I love talking with my friends about the positive stuff, but I also am not in their relationship and I should not be reading their private texts (especially if it’s an argument) but that’s just my opinion 😅 I really value my privacy and I usually expect what I say privately to stay private

Anonymous

#2 4w

It depends, she can get really stressed about academics, and then that kind of extends onto everything else, but other than that she’s a very positive person. It’s really only the bf and her housemate who was really unclean, other than that she doesn’t really complain about stuff. She has been complaining a lot about the bf, but it’s very black and white, it’s either “he’s perfect we go on dates 4x a week” or complaining all the time 😅

Anonymous

OP 4w

She might be complaining over “little things” for the camaraderie of complaining about a partner with friends? That’s what one of our mutual friends thinks, which I can understand