Girl Talk on Sidechat | If i like cnc and my bf 👉🏻👌🏻 and 🥜 in my butt while i was asleep and never noticed until the next day i joked with him about messing with me while asleep and he was like oh.. yeah and i made the joke in the afternoon. I dont think i ever told him about cnc

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Girl Talk 8w

If i like cnc and my bf 👉🏻👌🏻 and 🥜 in my butt while i was asleep and never noticed until the next day i joked with him about messing with me while asleep and he was like oh.. yeah and i made the joke in the afternoon. I dont think i ever told him about cnc

#whatdoido#ilovehimandIknowhewouldntDoanythingbad#thisislongtermrelationship

Anonymous 8w

this is sa, you never gave consent, even if you would have, you didn’t give consent and did it under the impression he didn’t have your consent

Anonymous 8w

The second hashtag has me wanting to cry. I’ve had that exact same thought. It’s such a real thought to have but it’s not true. We live in rape culture. It’s still his fault, but the truth is that sexual assault is so prevalent partially because we don’t cultivate enough empathy and understanding around what real consent means. His intentions might have not been the result of an intentional evil plan to sexually assault and harm you, but this is absolutely sexual assault

Anonymous 8w

So he had sex with you without your consent?

Anonymous 8w

I’m gonna keep it real with yall I don’t think it’s very helpful to try to convince someone that she was raped. OP my dear please speak to someone (like the hotline shared) trained in dealing with these topics and take care of yourself. You are allowed to feel however you feel and it is up to you to decide how to move forward

Anonymous 8w

Does it bother you?

Deleted 8w

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Anonymous 8w

This is just bait, I bet you a man is behind OP’s account cause this is SA

-1

Anonymous

#1 8w

I wouldn’t have said no

Anonymous 8w

Why do you think that? Im genuinely curious im very confused with my emotions rn

Deleted 8w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous

OP 8w

Doesn’t matter, he wasn’t even aware you’re into cnc, and even then, cnc scenes are discussed thoroughly and consented to PRIOR to them actually happening

Anonymous 8w

But i would have consented, thats why i feel like its a gray area

Anonymous

#1 8w

The first c stands for consent. You have to consent to the roleplay, he cares so little about you he didn’t ask for your consent

Deleted 8w

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Anonymous

#1 8w

Thank you this helps…what do i do now tho? I haven’t really had an in depth conversation with him yet about it

Anonymous 8w

He said he tried to wake me up by putting it in my 🐱but again i don’t remember and didn’t feel it, i assume he did it cause he wanted to 👉🏻👌🏻 and i have told him not to watch porn

Anonymous

OP 8w

Idk that’s up to you, if it were me I’d break up with him and treat him like the rapist he is. I’m very into cnc but I wouldn’t be able to excuse the fact that my partner is someone who would think to actually rape a person, even if I enjoyed it in the moment due to my kink, as on their side nothing was consensual and it was not part of a kink

Anonymous

#1 8w

The thing about kinks is that they can only be a kink if everyone involved is an adult of sound mind who is consenting

Anonymous

#1 8w

He himself isn’t really kinky so i wonder if he or i miscommunicated

Deleted 8w

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Anonymous 8w

We have been together for 4 years and he knows about my past SA so just that alone i feel like he wouldn’t have a bad intention behind it

Anonymous

OP 8w

The miscommunication was when he didn’t get your consent to fuck you while you weren’t awake and aware, that’s legally considered rape Blaming it on not watching porn is crazy

Anonymous

#1 8w

Thank you this has helped

Anonymous

OP 8w

Whatever happens, I hope the best for you

Anonymous

#1 8w

I still dont know how to feel but i really do appreciate your words thank you

Anonymous

#4 8w

I would highly encourage you to talk to someone in real life about this, especially someone who is equipped and informed to help you, like a sexual assault hotline worker.

Anonymous

#4 8w

They also have chat features if you don’t feel comfortable getting on the phone. You have options and there is support available to you. I’m proud of you for posting today.

Anonymous

#4 8w

Thank you so much this helped me understand more . Thank you for reaching out and continuing the safe space ❤️

Anonymous

#4 8w

If i text the hotline would they report me to anyone? Im not in danger and im not a danger to myself or others

Anonymous

OP 8w

They absolutely will not report you. They will listen to you and validate your experiences and feelings and they can connect you to other resources.

Anonymous

#4 8w

Okay thank you again so much

Anonymous

OP 8w

You’re so welcome - it means a lot to me to be able to be there for people in a way I didn’t have people be there for me so if there’s anything else I can help with please let me know

Anonymous

#6 8w

Tis not bait im just actually in need of advice which i got

Anonymous

OP 8w

it’s not. you didn’t tell him beforehand that was ok or discuss boundaries or anything. you said you might be into that and he did it without any further discussion or concern for your wellbeing. you should at the very least confront him about that crossing of your boundaries