
i don’t think having reactionary beliefs about sex based in purity culture is very woke. obviously there is a sociological component to kink and how people perceive sex is intertwined with their view of gender. however to then say that preferring to have sex a certain way is inherently abusive or that sex is inherently degrading for a woman is itself based in regressive ideas around sex, and often a fundamental misunderstanding and disconnect with the actual experiences, preferences,
and practices of those within the kink community. not to mention this view of kink is entirely limited to the very heteronormative view of sex as a cis man and cis women having penetrative penis in vagina sex where the man is in some way dominant and the woman submissive. and ultimately rooted in the belief that having sex with a man is degrading or harmful for a woman and a woman could not possibly know what she wants and enjoy/want sex and not be any less of a person or degraded for it
thank u for taking the time to talk with me! i hear your point. but to act as if degrading acts done, (particularly to a woman) 'just happens' is not acknowledging the role played by pornography & societal norms. all i ask, is that why so often do "individual preferences" so closely align to pornography and reinforce patriarchy? is it not worth a deeper look? should we just ignore the real possibility that this could very well be conditioning women to sexualize their own subjugation?
women having sex with a man isnt inherently degrading. i dont believe that and i never stated such. i am just starting a conversation, asking why does heterosexual sex so often involve male violence/ degradation towards women? and why are we so quick to dismiss any deeper conversation about it? thats all
the deeper conversation you want to have based on your post is that porn/smut is inherently bad for you and if you have a kink that involves degradation there is something wrong with you. it’s just regurgitating purity culture talking points and putting a woke spin on it precisely to AVOID having a deeper conversation about kink and sex and sexual desire