Anonymous #1 20w

I don’t think now is the time for the Sk8er Boi song 😭😭

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Anonymous #3 20w

It’s a rhetorical question

10

Anonymous #6 20w

Great, but do you have back up plans in case anything goes south? If his support ends or he decides to “support” someone else, where would that leave you? Hell, just one car accident, bad injury, or illness that puts him out of work is enough to destroy that entire lifestyle. Be a stay at home mom, but also be realistic and have a safety net like work experience or a degree.

16

Anonymous #2 20w

That’s kind of a privileged take in my opinion tbh, with the current state of the economy I promise you way way way less people than you think have savings or “back up” plans (I would never marry someone who made me feel like I needed a backup plan anyways). Why do you guys still act like this is the 1950s? It’s not over if he leaves you, youll be fine. You do what you done before you met him.

11

Anonymous #6 20w

If he leaves you, you file for alimony and child support and move back into grandmas or a low income apartment until you get back on your feet. This isn’t the olden days where you have to depend on a man, but there’s something beautiful about someone loving you so much you have the choice to

-2

Anonymous #6 20w

That backup plan is working. That’s not a “privileged take”. Being able to financially rely on one person is the privilege. Life isn’t over if he leaves, but you’ll be left in a pit that’ll be extremely hard to crawl out of if you have no safety net. Especially for someone still so young. What she did before him was likely live off her parents (and hopefully they’ll still be willing/able to help) with no work history or degrees to secure better paying jobs.

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Anonymous #6 20w

Statistically, women suffer worse financially after a divorce. And that’s working women with their own jobs/income, imagine having nothing. Keep in mind, alimony is rarely granted. So now at a grown age, trying to find a job that’ll hire someone with no experience, living with family and/or in low income housing (which how are getting with NO income), maybe or maybe not relying on your ex to still pay your bills, what judge is granting you enough custody to warrant child support?

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Anonymous #2 20w

You don’t have to have any income to live in low income housing…and a majority of judges will side with the woman as long as they have a stable place to live. You can tell you didn’t grow up with a single mom or in a low income area.Like I said, if the absolute worst were to happen and you did have to do everything on your own you will be fine I promise. single moms are not automatically doing everything alone btw they have government, family and often dad sending money for kid/buying kid things

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Anonymous #2 20w

If you don’t want to stay home then that’s fine but there is absolutely no reason to try and convince other women that their partners are going to leave them or get in tragic accidents. Do you live your entire life expecting the worst to happen? That sounds miserable

-1

Anonymous #6 20w

Don’t speak on my life when you know nothing about me. It can take years to get low income housing, let alone when you have no income which is why I wouldn’t even count it as a possibility. And courts are more likely to side with the parent that fights for the child and has means to support the child (the person who has a stable job, housing, and pays most of the bills). In the 21st century, you’re not automatically winning custody just for being a woman with questionable housing.

6

Anonymous #6 20w

Genuinely it’s great if being a stay at home mom is your dream. But don’t pretend the future is going to be predictable and perfect. You don’t know if the man you marry today will be the same in the future. and you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t at least consider the fall outs of that lifestyle. It’s not “miserable” to acknowledge reality.

8

Anonymous #2 20w

You have an extremely negative outlook on love and life which is kind of sad. We have clearly grown up in very different life experiences and environments if you think that sahm cannot make it on their own if the worst where to happen (still just because your man leaves or you leave him doesn’t mean you have to do all alone) we’re not going to agree because we want different things in life.

7

Anonymous #2 20w

The problem is you look down on mine and judge for not having a backup plan what’s your back up plan if your career doesn’t work out? If you can’t find a job? If you can’t pay off your loans? Don’t have the money to finish your degree? Would you say that it’s fair for me to judge your lack of options? Your view is much more misogynistic than a woman staying at home. There is nothing more vital to women than choice

5

Anonymous #6 20w

Are you actually reading what I’m writing or just skimming and picking at things to be mad at? I literally wrote “life isn’t over if he leaves” it’s just harder with no safety net. What part of that equals “save cannot make it on their own”? Don’t twist what I’m saying to pretend like being a stay at home mom is the worst decision anyone could make. I’ve repeatedly said otherwise

5

Anonymous #6 20w

Again, don’t speak on others lives when you know nothing about them. I have no student loans (full ride due to low income needs), I already graduated, and my degree is in a high need field so I’m guaranteed a job (literally got one in less than 3 weeks after graduating). Stop with the weird assumptions pls

8

Anonymous #6 20w

Telling people to be realistic is not looking down on, judging, calling sahm misogynistic, or whatever else you’re trying to argue. And there’s also a difference between advocating for sahm to have a backup plan vs going in with nothing to your name.

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Anonymous #2 20w

It’s so weird that women who don’t want to stay at home continue to find content of women who happily do stay at home and disrespect them. That is true misogyny, hating on women for living their lives in a way that is fulfilling to them. That is my overall point.

0

Anonymous #2 20w

Except it’s not realistic. You’re assuming the worst.

0

Anonymous #2 20w

And this post is looking down on her. They literally said her life is their worst fear? Would you say that to someone’s face? That’s extremely rude

0

Anonymous #6 20w

Is it so unlikely for something bad to happen in life? Everyone’s always in perfect health, no one cheats or falls out of love, other people’s bad decisions (e.g. drunk driving, shooting) will never impact your life, accidents don’t happen, etc? Life is just rainbows and kittens, so it’s not realistic for something bad to happen?

5

Anonymous #6 20w

I’m not the person who made the post, so don’t pretend their words are mine. Talking about potential bad outcomes is not disrespectful. Telling people about the risks they’re signing up for is not misogynistic. Do you go into life thinking nothing could ever go wrong? That’s a level of ignorance you should never encourage.

4

Anonymous #6 20w

I really want to emphasize that my main concern comes from a lack of back up plan. Again, it’s fine if you want to be a sahm, but try to have something because you never know what could happen. And that isn’t a “privileged take”. Even just a part time job or side gig like having an Etsy account, is far better than what this TikToker is promoting.

5

Anonymous #2 20w

But I don’t want that. I want a traditional relationship where my “job” is to take care of the kids/family stuff like that. That’s okay. It’s okay to live the life you want. Don’t you see how you keep trying to push the way that you think I should live? That’s unnecessary and a lack of respect for women’s choice. Their is safety is someone else taking care of you. We have different perspectives

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Anonymous #6 20w

And yes I see the typo now before you point it out

1

Anonymous #6 20w

Again that’s great. I have never once said in this thread that that’s a bad thing. I’m saying that there are risks that come with it. There is safety, but there is also danger. Telling you about those risks is not telling you how to live or disrespecting your choice. It’s giving you a rounded view on what you want. You and anyone else who wants that life have the choice to decide if the risks are worth it or not.

1

Anonymous #6 20w

I'm not gonna call out a typo, my replies are filled with them anyway. And to clarify, because “never once said… that’s a bad thing” was kinda vague. I did say there are bad risks/outcomes of it, but never once said no one should live that life.

1

Anonymous #6 20w

It’s not assuming the worst when the result #2 is talking about is incredibly common. I know a woman, got married right out of high school, had two kids as a sahm. Her husband cheated on her, then he initiated the divorce, was making over 100k a year and she had no income, she was not awarded alimony, just half stake in the house, to be sold immediately and funds split. She’s now in a bachelor’s program in her mid 50’s, trying to get a degree so she can get literally any job other than minimum..

6

Anonymous #7 20w

Wage fast food

3

Anonymous #7 20w

Oh, and her degree is being taken on a combination of financial aid because she has no income, and student loans. Loans that because they’re for so much, she probably won’t be able to pay off in her lifetime

3

Anonymous OP 20w

Sit and wait and look pretty to be a submissive good trad wife

4

Anonymous #6 20w

i think the entire point of the other persons argument is that having at least some PRIOR work experience is helpful, something present in your past that helps you not say “i’m 40, divorced, and this is my first job i’ve ever had” it is SO privileged to be able to depend on one person and spend your whole life at home with your kids - and if that’s something you can’t see then idk what to tell you. single parenting isn’t something you just say will happen if someone leaves, it is pure hell

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Anonymous #9 20w

full of stress, sacrifice, pain, and so many other things - i think maybe you just struggle to put yourself in someone else’s shoes

9