Anonymous OP 1d

so i stay even though i had no interest in spending hours in a waiting room. when we finally get back to her room in recovery things seem like they will be pretty difficult with her. her right leg is immobilized and cannot bear weight. i was right, it took three people to get her into the car. my brother drives with her to a pharmacy to get her meds. i drive home and eat something and have a bit of water. then when they pull up i am there with a walker/wheelchair mobility aid…

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Anonymous OP 1d

we barely get her onto it. my brother drives off with me carrying various shit while also having to push her through the double doors. the next bits are a blur, but i think i took her to the bathroom and that was a whole ordeal. she has no clue how to use her crutches, she hops while holding the crutches, i do not see evidence of her using her upper body to actually move, only between movements to stabilize herself. she sits on the toilet and cannot really reach to wipe, she would be capable…

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Anonymous OP 1d

but she is a larger woman. she knows i am not going to do that, so i don’t think she wiped that well and kind of drip dried. she has incontinence pads so at least that absorbs something. anyway, we slowly make our way to her couch, get her sat and put the leg rest up. i grab a cushion for her leg and a range of things to basically ice her knee and absorb water…

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Anonymous OP 1d

i get her some water heat up some leftovers for her and continue just doing whatever she asked. she takes a nap at 8pm i wake her up around 9pm. she gets some meds and we kind of start planning to get her to bed. she uses the toilet, brushes her teeth and then we try to get her situated in bed. she keeps dropping and losing various items while i am running around trying to get her comfortable…

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Anonymous OP 1d

eventually she is settled the best she can be. great, now maybe i can take care of myself a little bit. i go down several floors (she lives high in the condo building and i live low) and i get to shower and brush my teeth so i can sleep for a bit… by the time i get into bed my hip is on fire and i end up tossing and turning for two hours and fall asleep. i thought i had notifications on for my mom, but after i sleep for six and a half hours, i wake up to a bunch of missed calls. apparently…

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Anonymous OP 1d

she woke up about an hour and a half before i did. i quickly get dressed, i don’t even have time to pee. i walk through her front door and go to her bedroom, i immediately start peeling back the sheets and moving the various walkers, crutches, and walker/wheelchair. the thing about my mom is she cannot communicate effectively at all. i await instructions and she can’t even tell me what strategy she wants to use to get out of bed…

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Anonymous OP 1d

we swing her bad leg over the edge of her bed and basically wing it. she is whimpering with and movement of any kind. i wheel her to the couch and we transfer her onto it. i think it was at this point she decided to take the reins and manages to nearly fall, but her ass lands on the couch. it is important to note that she actually calls this a fall. so, i put together meds for her and give it to her with some water. i believe this is when i had to get a bag of ice, so i grabbed a grocery bag…

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Anonymous OP 1d

and went down to the building’s ice machine. i come back up and fill her icing device that basically pumps ice cold water through a pad that sits on her knee. then i go to make her some coffee. should be easy… nope. the machine is plugged into an outlet that is on one side of the sink. i press the power button several times but there is no sign of it turning on. now i play electrician, looking to see if this outlet is connected to power. i have to look at the circuit board and stuff. then…

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Anonymous OP 1d

eventually we test an outlet on the other side of the sink and it works. so, i move the machine over there. i warm and froth some milk and put it in the espresso and put a lid on the to go cup. i hand her the coffee. i put some cottage cheese in a bowl and wash a pear. while she eats i make myself three scrambled eggs in the microwave. i eat them quickly and it is right back to being her nurse. i top off her coffee. then i think i messed with the printer bc it is...

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Anonymous OP 1d

not printing right. at this point she took a nap. when i wake her up she wants lunch so i put some pimento cheese and some crackers in a bowl. she also wanted two chik’n nuggets so i gave her those too. i offer to make her a refreshing drink. so i pour some strawberry acai and coconut water in a tumbler. now i can sit and eat my five whole chik’n nuggets and scarf a haagen dazs mini. by this point i think it was time for the bathroom again so we did that…

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Anonymous OP 1d

then my brother was actually on the way with a new recliner my mom had ordered the night before. he met me where we could load the big box on a cart and bring it up. outside of her front door we took the pieces out of the dirty box and brought them to where we would put it together. it is funny bc while i carefully took the padding and zip ties off of the chair my brother kind of stood there yapping. my mom did tell him to stand back bc i was more careful than him and he was too sloppy. but…

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Anonymous OP 1d

it is just odd because yk why did he never learn to not be sloppy in that way. so luckily the chair only had two pieces. we unsuccessfully tried to put them together a couple of times. but it required finesse, so i was on the floor directing him how to move the top piece and i carefully (haha) guided the metal pieces to fit. then we put furniture leg covers on it. my mom and brother yapped for a while while i enjoyed some time off of my feet drinking a bit of water. after he left she was…

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Anonymous OP 1d

transferred to the new recliner and took a nap. i was able to lay down (but not sleep) for a bit. after that i went and got some ice i think and told my siblings that it would be a good time to call her. (i really wanted to be relieved of the weird dynamic between us. so shortly after i refreshed her icing device one of my siblings called...

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Anonymous OP 1d

they have been talking for four and a half hours by now… this sibling is a little bit of an idealist. she cannot comprehend how miserable it is to be at our mother’s beck and call. she claims she would take care of our mom if she were in my position. i would argue that none of my siblings actually would. but, my sister also keeps commenting that she would get on a plane and come be her caregiver. i challenged her to do it. she wiggled her way out by saying she basically would rather save her…

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Anonymous OP 1d

time off to be with her husband who works long hours. so, my brother who clearly has not a single caregiving bone in his body is not even a possibility in my mom’s mind, my sister who claims to want to take care of her, and my not previously mentioned other sister who really can hardly take care of herself are not able to do the job i have been stuck with. basically, i loathe the thought of even having to do this one more day. i really really need my mom to hire 2-3 shifts of in-home…

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Anonymous OP 1d

caregivers/nurses. but my mom sees no problem with me being her sole caregiver and having every moment of my day belonging to her. i cannot stress how upset i am to be treated like her slave. my physical and mental health have already suffered. i need a way out.

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