
I’m in the same boat. It’s easier to pretend than deal with the consequence of losing the relationship, but it’s so draining to keep up the act knowing I’ll never be able to believe like they do. It’s a conversation I’m not ready to have, but I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be fully prepared
I still live with my parents. I got to live on campus my freshman year, but because the job market for college students is horrible, and because my scholarship only covered first year housing, I’ve acquiesced to just living at home at the cost of my mental health so I don’t become a lifeless husk that only ever finds themselves at work or doing assignments.
I’m tied of hearing insanely prejudiced things and having to stay silent. I’m tired of having to constantly question what my parents would say about certain friends and dating prospects. I’m tired of getting dragged out of bed every Sunday morning just to waste my time for 90 minutes listening to a mediocre choir and some lazy, bullshit sermon.
I’m just gonna let it all out after I get my degree. I’ll be moving away to someplace where weed and abortion are legal anyway, and I’ve majored in something that should guarantee me options as far good jobs with decent pay. So they won’t be able to hold anything over me. There will just be a huge argument that I’m certainly going to win because I was building a library of philosophical treatises when I was in high school as if it were an arsenal.
I feel like I must pretend to believe in order to live here, but I’m also not 100% sure on that. There was something that happened long ago that made communication with them hard for me. They may know. I recall my dad in tears at my sister’s wedding rehearsal. He was talking to someone like 10 feet behind me, and I heard him say something along the lines of me drifting away from the faith ever since I was 13. And the fact that his timeline is so far off shows how out of touch he is.
okay that’s understandable.. yea i honestly don’t know what u can do abt it. other than try ur hardest to get out of their house. i wouldnt recommend telling them unless u know for sure you’d be able to stay with them after that. as bad as it sounds, sometimes u gotta do what u gotta do. to survive. not be on the streets. i relate in a way, lived w a narcissistic mother and had no where else to go so i basically had to pretend it wasn’t happening in order to have a home. i’m sorry😔😔