I believe we choose what’s going to happen in our lives before we live but I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I was thinking. I cannot see the value in experiencing this. At least, I don’t think so. It seems extreme and repetitive. If there was some lesson or value in this experience it’s hard for me to believe this is the only way to get it or that it hasn’t been fully grasped or ever will if it hasn’t yet

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