Confessions on Sidechat | please read the whole post before replying im asking for real advice and i think the full picture matters when i hear about an assault case like the recent one at cornell and ik all the correct way to think abt it im religious and i know what im supposed-

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Confessions 1d

please read the whole post before replying im asking for real advice and i think the full picture matters when i hear about an assault case like the recent one at cornell and ik all the correct way to think abt it im religious and i know what im supposed-

Anonymous 1d

to feel but lately i think its an act and sometimes i even fool myself with it deep down i dont think i actually care my first thought is about what she was wearing and that thought feels more like me than the sympathy doesits not just about assault when a girl says something i think is stupid i think of course she thinks that she doesnt know better when a guy says the same thing i think that guys an idiot when i debate my thoughts line up with the-

Anonymous 1d

Okay. One: I'm assuming you're a guy, but to check, are you a guy? Two: You're self-aware. Aware of the issue. You're being completely honest with yourself. And it sounds like you want to change, which is AMAZING. Where you're at is already significantly better off than a LOT of people out there. I can help you out, I have a lot of genuine advice from a LOT of life experience and psych/sociology/neurology experience/education Just wanna confirm you're a guy first

Anonymous

OP 1d

with the misogynistic side more than my own stated beliefs and i feel like im virtue signaling to myself so i can think im a good personnobody would ever know its only in my head i cant afford therapy because im in college so im asking here has anyone felt like their this how did you work through it any advice or resources would mean a lot

Anonymous

OP 1d

I feel like its also deteriorating my relationship with my sister as well my sister is rhe smartest person ik thats around my age and at home i think my walls are a bit more down and i think im quicker to respond with her then with ppl so the stuff doesnt get filtered and i have real guilt abt this bc ik if the sa case happened to her ik i would hunt the person who did it and excute them like the scum they r i js dont know how to feel abt all this i have heavy cognitive dissonance

Anonymous

#1 1d

yea i am

Anonymous

OP 1d

It's v natural for humans to empathize most with the individual they relate to the most in any given scenario. So for a guy, hearing about an assault case, it can be natural to be more concerned with/about the accused than accuser. This just requires a conscious awareness of the fact that that's how your brain is currently wired. Then conscious efforts to change that thinking every single time it arises.

Anonymous

#1 1d

The less you exercise a neural circuit, the weaker it gets. The more you exercise one, the stronger it gets; and, it tends to jump to action the fastest.

Anonymous

#1 1d

Another layer of this is that men tend to view SA/r@pe cases with genders swapped. Like imagining it as if a girl did that to you (often, an at least somewhat attractive girl). That's not at all what it's like. Obviously the severity is lost through that lens. Instead, just put yourself directly into the victim's shoes. A larger, physically superior man is creeping on you. Touching you without permission in weird ways. Making you extremely uncomfortable in a sexual manner.

Anonymous

#1 1d

This guy who could probably kill you with a single decent hit, bare hands. 0 attraction. 0 pleasure. It's you. Faced with some stronger, deeply unsettling man. That perspective also erases 'what was she wearing?'. Bc even if in this scenario you're wearing a tank-top or are even shirtless or anything, it doesn't matter. Even out and about, eye the big creepy dudes and genuinely imagine them creeping on you.

Anonymous

#1 1d

Up close and personal. But in this scenario, you present 0 physical intimation, and they're just eyeing you like some delicious, weak lil prey. Next time you're interacting with an unsavory guy, imagine the same thing. With this, you'll notice your mindset and the way in which you perceive the world has shifted, and continues to do so

Anonymous

#1 1d

i get what this is trying to do but like im js not doing this im religious and rather not think of myself getting sa by another man also can we take this to dms i have more stuff to add but like rather not do it here