Confessions on Sidechat | My best friend is a girl and my wife doesn’t like that. Her husband doesn’t like that either. But we all got married knowing this info already. Are you allowed to have lasting friendships with people with different genitalia?

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Confessions 14h

My best friend is a girl and my wife doesn’t like that. Her husband doesn’t like that either. But we all got married knowing this info already. Are you allowed to have lasting friendships with people with different genitalia?

Anonymous 14h

yes and don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise

Anonymous 14h

Yes, being able to have normal platonic relationships with the opposite sex is mature and healthy

Anonymous 14h

Yes. Even as someone who doesn't personally like my significant other having a female bestie, it's actually on your wife and your friend's husband. It's on YOU to know what you are and aren't comfortable with, and to navigate that. Like I know I wouldn't want to be with a guy with a female bestie, so why tf would I engage with a guy with a female bestie??

Anonymous 14h

Yeah why wouldn’t you?? !!?

Anonymous 13h

Yes it’s fine! Just don’t let your wife feel like she comes second to your friend though.

Anonymous 11h

She resents me a little bit bc she thinks I put my friend on a pedestal. I understand how she feels but I’ve also known her longer. I don’t try to rush to her aid all the time but if I ever do she feels like I wouldn’t do the same. Again I understand so I’m trying not to dismiss her feelings but it’s hard when I want to tell her that’s not true at all

Anonymous

#2 14h

One of my best friends is a gay guy

Anonymous

#1 14h

my best friend since 5th grade has been a woman and i’d bury a body for her and vice-versa, she’s as close to a sister as i’ve ever had

Anonymous

#3 14h

Literally, if u have a problem ‘keeping control’ that’s a u issue imo

Anonymous

#4 14h

There's nothing wrong with it, it's actually a green flag and awesome when men are able to have deep platonic bonds with women! I just personally get weird about it in relationships, so I know to avoid it! It's as easy as that.

Anonymous

#2 14h

Apparently my wife would only be okay if my bestie was a lesbian.

Anonymous

OP 14h

? No I don’t think that’s what she meant to say

Anonymous

#2 14h

Also there is a lot to read and is tired honestly idc

Anonymous

#2 14h

Wait why am I assuming the wife is me smh

Anonymous

#5 12h

I try but apparently failing

Anonymous

OP 12h

Wdym?

Anonymous

OP 11h

Why do you say that?

Anonymous

OP 10h

Yeah see that’s the tricky thing. You’ve known the friend longer, she’s been a part of your life longer so in that way she probably is one of the most important people to you too. No one wants to feel second best in a partnership though. Help your friend and be there for her but don’t put her needs above your wife’s. Don’t bail on your wife for your friend. Not saying you do that but still. And same goes for your friend with her husband.

Anonymous

#5 10h

Yeah and we’ve talked this over several times. It’s a yearly tradition at this point. Nothing new but you’re right on all your points.

Anonymous

#5 10h

But of course there will be times that maybe the friend is going through a really tough time and you do need to be there more. I think that’s fine! I’d understand that but that’s just me.

Anonymous

OP 10h

Sorry dude, thats a tough spot to be in. Maybe try counseling? It could help you both understand how to make each relationship work out in a way that you both feel good about.

Anonymous

#5 10h

My friend and I are very good at validating each other’s experiences. Sigh…at this point my wife refuses to travel with my bestie and her husband to anymore trips (which are rare btw) so now it can be more awkward as I third-wheel. More therapy I guess