Anonymous #1 5d

It was just taken down. It was like a PSA to people in their 20’s saying that if they’re dating anyone older than 30, they’re being groomed.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Oh lord. I mean if we really want to be technical, you can have an unequal power dynamic at any age. Tbh I’m kind of sick of people victimizing others in adult, consenting relationships like you’re saying. You can’t protect everyone and often times the situation is not as it seems based on one tiny blip of info on the internet

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Anonymous #1 5d

Exactly And my thought is just like, pick a lane. Are these people adults who need to take on adult responsibilities and go out into the workforce and contribute to society, or are they children who can’t make their own decisions and anyone older than them is manipulating their underdeveloped minds. You can’t have both. If we want 18 to be the cutoff for adulthood, then those people are adults now.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Lmfao I can tell OOP is upset with this 😭 But I fully agree. Would I personally get into an age gap relationship? Probably not. But that’s the beauty of this country, you can choose whether you want to do that or not. After a certain point, people need to be adults making adult decisions. Not to be harsh, but if you choose to take a major risk and fuck up your life, then that’s just how life goes. We’re meant to protect people who can’t make that decision for themselves, like literal children.

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Anonymous #1 5d

Personally I think 18 is too young to be considered an adult and we should push it back. But that’s no reality, and you can’t tell someone “you’re an adult now, time to get out there and forge your own path” while also saying “hey you’re too young to be doing that, you’re not thinking this through because your brain hasn’t fully developed” It’s the hypocrisy of it. Are these people adults or not? If they are, then leave them alone.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Yeah, I generally stop worrying about people’s decisions after they graduate college/around that age. If you’re old enough to hold down a career, live on your own, and make those other life decisions I think you’re also old enough to take risks like that without outside interference. I’ll leave it to their family and friends to hold any judgment or concern

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Anonymous OP 5d

I think the issue is really just the naïveté that tends to come with being 18, you just haven’t experienced enough as an adult, and some also have a somewhat sheltered childhood. It just means that they’d be the prime target for someone looking to take advantage of their kindness. It’s not a blanket statement to criticize, but to be aware of what type of situation it COULD be. There are still plenty of age gap relationships that are perfectly respectful and beneficial to both parties.

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Anonymous #3 5d

No I agree with that. But it’s those blanket statements. Or when people see an age gap relationship, especially if a woman is the younger party, they automatically assume that the older party has somehow tricked or groomed the younger party and that it’s a predatory thing. As long as both parties are happy and consenting adults, there shouldn’t be an issue.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Oh yes this. It’s often thinly veiled misogyny. “Oh you’re a WOMAN? No no, YOU can’t make informed decisions, this MAN must be smarter and stronger than you and is thus tricking you. If you think you’re happy you’re WRONG because you’re a WEAK SUBSERVIENT WOMAN being tricked by this SUPER SMART STRONG OLDER MAN” like be so for real, like abuse doesn’t exist in same age relationships

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Anonymous OP 5d

It feels infantilizing to women specifically tbh. You never see these criticisms about age gap relationships where the man is younger. It sends the message that women are dumber and more naive, and can’t make decisions for themselves otherwise they’ll end up in an abusive relationship every time. It’s very frustrating.

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Anonymous #4 5d

EXACTLY what I’m saying. And on a less serious note, I feel like it kills the idea that there is true love out there. I’m in such a healthy relationship that it wouldn’t matter who the breadwinner was, I honestly don’t think I’d ever be at risk of being in a dangerous situation. I think a lot of people pushing that narrative have never experienced real, selfless love from a partner. It’s like they think everyone has an ulterior motive in a relationship.

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Anonymous #1 5d

That’s exactly how it comes across. And look as I stated above, I personally believe we should push back the age for what constitutes as an adult, because I don’t think people fully mature until like their mid twenties. But, if we’re all going to collectively agree as a society that 18 is an adult and treat them as an adult in every other way, then we also need to respect these kinds of decisions and stop infantilizing them.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Yeah… part of it is just not knowing the context. There’s a lot of shit said on the internet solely because there is no/little context. But everyone just wants to chime in with their two cents.

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Anonymous #4 5d

I completely agree. People treat these adult women like they’re just silly little girls who are easily manipulated by highly intelligent, predatory men. If they’re an adult, then their decisions should be respected the same as any other adult’s

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