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The nonchalance epidemic is the worst thing that’s happened to dating
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Anonymous 1d

bro i don’t think i could ever be nonchalant or be with anyone who’s nonchalant

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Anonymous 1d

It’s detrimental to everything else too…clubbing/partying/etc isn’t fun anymore because too many people are afraid of getting caught being ‘cringe’. Peer pressure is extending beyond high school years and it’s awful! Suchhhh a turn off too, why would anyone want to be with someone that has the emotional depth of a puddle?

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Anonymous 1d

I am a guy and I truly don’t understand it (I assume we’re talking mostly about men, I don’t observe nearly the same in women but i could be wrong). It makes it really hard to just talk and make friends sometimes. I feel like a lot of my recent good friends have been not men because mfs can’t just express themselves or be vulnerable.

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Anonymous 1d

what can i do if im a girl and im just naturally nonchalant and have been that way since childhood? ppl say i come off like i think im “too cool”, but this really is just how i’ve always been… i want to come off as warmer, but it always seems so forced when i try this has me stressed for the longest time, i’d love genuine advice ty

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Anonymous 18h

Everything is recorded. Why don’t people like drinking? Probably because it’s going on the internet if they do something stupid and they can be arrested based on THAT video evidence as well. You can’t just “get away” with anything socially or legally anymore. Society has been forced to dial it back in order to succeed.

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Anonymous 21h

this nonchalant stuff and peer pressure just doesn’t work on me. if I want to do something I’ll do it, or if I don’t want to do something I won’t. Other people’s beliefs of what I should or shouldn’t do or how I should express myself don’t really matter to me. And I avoid anyone who tries to act nonchalant or tries to peer pressure people into acting a certain way, and im much happier.

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 1d

me too, me too. i'm not a girl but me too.

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 21h

Find people who actually enjoy hanging out with you and don’t find you “too cool”.

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 18h

If it’s your genuine self, it isn’t shitty, what’s shitty is, and we can be more clear when we talk about it, is acting nonchalant. Like when that isn’t genuinely how you feel. Pretending not to care when you really do is the soul crushing shit imo If you feel like you’re having a hard time expressing your care though, that’s a different thing too, but not wrong. In a sense, how we present to others is always performative, our outward reaction doesn’t always match what’s inside. It’s a skill

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 16h

yeah makes sense. how do you think i could do a better job “performing” warmth?

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 14h

Idk if it has to be specifically warmth. My first thought was trying actively to make your friends laugh. Sounds kindof random maybe but the attentiveness that is required to try to make someone laugh I think is a certain kind of warmth / chalantness. Goofballpost! Alternatively there are just some good conversational skills you can use. I guess I’d also want to know what you think the root of the issue is? Not interested? Don’t know what to say? Anxiety?

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