Anonymous #2 15h

to me it’s like having extremely expensive designer shoes or a $1,000 backpack. just unnecessary and attention-hungry

1

Anonymous OP 15h

i don’t think being a high spender/ostentatious is inherently a feminine thing at all. if anything being boastful and wanting to show off sounds like a masculine thing

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Anonymous OP 15h

so you think femininity is unnecessary and attention seeking?

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Anonymous #2 15h

I think he might associating excessive spending with femininity given that in the US, women drive 3/4 of discretionary household spending and are the primary drivers of American consumerism. However, discretionary spending does not equal ego spending. While both men and women ego spend, I also see ego spending as more traditionally associated with masculinity (or mid-life crisis).

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Anonymous #3 14h

no I just think that attention-seeking behavior is especially unattractive in men. sue me

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Anonymous OP 14h

then if that’s your issue why bring up femininity at all?

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Anonymous #3 14h

because fashion and appearance is a far more prominent element in contemporary womanhood. it’s ingrained into behavioral patterns and environmental inputs in a way that it just isn’t for men. that’s why the cosmetics and makeup market is almost exclusively female-driven.

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Anonymous OP 14h

so… you don’t like femininity? or do you just not like femininity in men? bc if you’re complaining about caring about looks too much you can do that without talking about women lol

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Anonymous #3 14h

I guess I see men choosing to buy cheap cars as an extension of men choosing not to wear makeup, which is essentially an element of female culture. it’s a kind of utilitarianism I respect because it signifies that you truly don’t have any concern for what others think of you. I think that’s a positive element of masculinity. again, just my opinion.

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Anonymous #3 14h

also women generally *have* to care what others think about them to navigate a male-dominated world. for women, being concerned with appearance IS often more utilitarian. so I do think femininity is part of the conversation.

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Anonymous OP 14h

But that just makes it a trait that is optional for men but socially enforced for women by both men and women. The issue is that in some ways, men have the luxury of choice in certain social scenarios that is not extended to women. That doesn’t make it an inherently feminine trait though (especially given the number of male flexors online, and how much male attention flex culture still gets).

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Anonymous #4 14h

“male attention flex culture” is embarrassing and insecurity-driven. also i don’t pay attention to flexors or influencers or whatever, that shit is toxic. it’s incredibly unattractive and lame to me but I get what you’re saying.

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Anonymous OP 14h

I don’t pay attention to them either, but in terms of arguing about the “masculinity” or “femininity” of flex culture, it is still relevant. That being said, I personally don’t think purchasing expensive stuff is an inherently gendered trait beyond the “pink tax” and the fact that women are required by society to spend money on certain aspects of their life to keep up appearances (both figuratively and literally).

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Anonymous #4 14h

However, in either case, past a certain level it just becomes making unwise financial decisions, which is a unisex trait at the end of the day. All of us are, to greater or lesser degrees, susceptible to social pressure. And that’s what fundamentally drives most overspending.

4