Confessions on Sidechat | If you hear a man got sexually assaulted and the first thing you say is “were you hard” YOU ARE A FUCKING WEIRDO

Join communities on Sidechat Download

If you hear a man got sexually assaulted and the first thing you say is “were you hard” YOU ARE A FUCKING WEIRDO

67

2248

Anonymous 9w

“Were you hard” is the same as “what were you wearing”

1004

Anonymous 9w

love the people actively choosing to shit on male victims in the comments and one of them getting upvoted for some reason. you aren't helping ANY victims by pushing the same victim-blaming bullshit on a victim just because he's a guy. you are a piece of shit, support victims.

279

Anonymous 9w

same as “well she was wet so she wanted it” NO IS NO THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS

192

Anonymous 9w

It’s still sexual assault regardless of gender, period. Women are just as capable of rape and sexual assault, a large majority if male sexual assault and rape victims never report the crime because they are blown off and told it cant happen to men.

127

Anonymous 9w

Facts when i finally told my parents about it my mom laughed and my dad said I would have loved to have a girl all over me like that when I was your age

112

Anonymous 9w

WHO IS SAYING THIS STUFF??

44

Anonymous 9w

How heartbreaking and disturbing that someone would say something like that.

44

Anonymous 9w

Ive had to explain to my male friends what rape really was when they told me of their first times and it hurt so much when i saw them realized they were taken advantage of at such a young age by older women

42

Anonymous 9w

“Were you hard” as if that isn’t the automatic biological response whenever the body is handled that way???

35

Anonymous 9w

“Just because I laughed when you tickled me, doesn’t mean I enjoy being tickled.”

32

🍏

Anonymous 9w

This is what I’m doing my undergrad thesis on actually!!

31

Anonymous 9w

Some people are sick in the head

27

Anonymous 9w

As a woman I can’t STAND when people try to argue SA is “not as bad for a man” “doesn’t count if it’s a guy” “it happens to guys less so it’s not as important” “he wanted it” SA IS SA. PERIOD. Genuinely disgusting behavior to say otherwise.

22

Anonymous 9w

i never spoke up about it because of people saying stuff like this. it’s so embarrassing

15

Anonymous 9w

Already happened to me bro nobody cares.

11

Anonymous 9w

#16 is weird

11

Anonymous 9w

Yeah seriously that u disgusting

6

Anonymous 9w

To answer the question tho yes I was

4

Anonymous 9w

They only care if a guy did it cuz then it’s like oh no he fucked you versus them thinking like women can only get fucked, but if a guy fucks you you literally can’t tell anyone that they’re gonna think you’re messed up, but like you have to know that you’re not. Like it’s already so hard not to care what anyone thinks esp as a man

1

Anonymous 9w

Is**

1

Anonymous 9w

Only yes means yes.

1

Anonymous 9w

As someone who was groped by a woman. I’ve only told on here once and some the replies were ‘did you get hard?’, ‘did you like it?’ ‘Would you do it again?’ 😔

0

Anonymous 9w

But were you?

-4

Anonymous 9w

Honestly, if the one asking that is one of the victims homeboys, that just normal for the boys. Not that it’s good that happened to the guy, but that might just be the way that bros show love

-6

Anonymous 9w

If someone is raping you against your will isn’t that an insane turn off? Like how could you still be hard bro??

-21

Anonymous

#10 9w

That one person over there

32

Anonymous

#25 9w

16 deleted all their comments because I recognized them for what they are and that upsets them I suppose 🤷 if larping on the internet to start petty arguments makes them happy then to each their own ig

25

Anonymous

#25 9w

Either that or they got downvoted to hell, which tbh based on the original comment wouldn’t be surprised by that either

23

Anonymous

#5 9w

It’s worse bro it’s like asking “were you wet” it’s not just insinuating that it’s somehow the victims fault but that they should’ve enjoyed it 🤮

438

Anonymous

#26 9w

I am so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t your fault. I hope you get justice and are able to find peace. I promise that lots of people care. Idk if you are a prayer person, but I will pray for you #26 🩵

41

Anonymous

#26 9w

Like many assume victims 💔

13

Anonymous

#6 9w

*assault

6

Anonymous

#32 9w

Omg I am so sorry

76

Anonymous

#32 9w

I’m sorry🫂 it’s not fair for them to invalidate something that must’ve been difficult to say. Praying for you!

57

Anonymous

#22 9w

woman can be perpetrators and im not trying to take away from your argument at all but i would also like to point out that studies show that both male and female victims are more likely to get assaulted by men… woman are also assaulted by women and i think it’s somewhat harmful to always assume it’s someone of the other sex

86

☎️

Anonymous

#20 9w

i think they deleted all the comments thatre against the post. oh and hell isn’t real

-16

Anonymous

#16 9w

so glad 16 revealed themself again so i can block them ❤️‍🩹

19

Anonymous

#39 9w

Basically it’s the over dramatic man vs “crazy” women ( whom ppl think deserved it). It’s all bs and doesn’t make their experience any less real

9

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous 9w

that’s not what they’re saying at all, coming from an SA victim. they’re saying that the hardware will react to stimulation even if that stimulation is incredibly violating and invasive, so them being hard isn’t a justification for the act. the biological reaction to something you don’t want is part of why SA is so invasive, since they’re taking away control of your body in multiple ways

44

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous 9w

you’re alright! there isn’t much widespread education on SA and a lot of misinfo, so it’s normal to not know everything. the turned on/off thing also varies from person to person, and it might be different for different genitalia: male victims are less common, so info on their experiences isn’t as well-known

33

Anonymous

#45 9w

Men don’t control boners btw…

44

Anonymous

OP 9w

Emotional regulation

-4

Anonymous

#45 9w

because that’s not how it works. stimulation makes someone hard, and sometimes people get hard randomly just for maintenance reasons. part of why it’s so violating is because they’re making you hard/“ready” for something you don’t want.

30

Anonymous

#6 9w

what

19

Anonymous

#45 9w

do some research

17

Anonymous

#46 9w

that doesn’t make sense tbh. cause it really just comes across as dismissing and almost mocking something bad that happened to them

19

Anonymous

#21 9w

I dunno, it’s kind of hard to explain. I’m a girl so I don’t really get it myself, but I’ve seen it with my brother’s friends. Not the exact situation, but a hard time either way and they said something of the same sort but I know they’d have his back no matter what. The one who said it was just his best-man back in June too

-5

Anonymous

#30 9w

I was just saying it because both are common phrases said when each happens.

67

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous

#46 9w

it depends but 99% of the time that’s an insanely gross thing to say to a victim

11

Anonymous 9w

It makes no sense I’m pretty sure no one wants to be SA’ed like I don’t understand these people’s logic like this is exactly why men have a harder time speaking up

10

Anonymous

#10 9w

A lot of people when a guy has the bravery to come out and tell their story I’ve literally gotten told “she isn’t even cute” telling my ex about what happened

16

Anonymous

#46 9w

I mean i wasn’t there for the convo so maybe it wasn’t that bad, but in general, I think ur brother’s friend probably shouldn’t have said that

8

Anonymous

#6 9w

You sound like someone with experience 🤨

6

Anonymous

#10 9w

it’s only rlly gotta be people who’ve sexually assaulted some1 and dont want to take accountability for their actions. or ragebaiters (psycho/sociopaths in this case)

12

Anonymous

#51 9w

I realized I was SA’d multiple times years after it happened, and saw how much it impacted me only after hearing about my friend’s experience. it really is awful how many people don’t realize how they were hurt :/

19

Anonymous

#37 9w

During an epidemic of male rapists?

-1

🍏

Anonymous

#52 9w

I would personally rather complete research on under researched topics

10

Anonymous

#52 9w

male victims of sexual assault are most often assaulted by other men

9

🍏

Anonymous

#37 9w

And be able to advocate for friends who might not understand what happened to them

12

Anonymous

#37 9w

thank you!! your work helps to contextualize sexual violence as both a women’s issue AND a human issue. it also helps with educating men on the experiences of male victims so they may contextualize their own experiences. this also may bring more attention to trans masc/men victims, which is all to important given the statistics of trans IPT/SA victims

11

Anonymous

#37 9w

So your desire to do something different supersedes your duty to make an impact on the danger women face every day?

-5

Anonymous

#37 9w

Your work is important. Don’t let people make you feel otherwise.

14

🍏

Anonymous

#52 9w

I mean one could argue that one of the reasons men are victimizing women is because men don’t recognize it as a victimization tactic because it happened to them and no one told them it was wrong. But I am a woman and I understand the danger we face, I just also recognize that there are so many people bringing awareness and writing articles that I wouldn’t make as big of a positive impact as I could in a different area.

13

Anonymous

#16 9w

get fucked

1

Anonymous

#55 9w

this happened to me as a kid and other people just went “oh that means she likes you” and now as an adult I still see people my age saying that shit 💀

1

Anonymous

#27 9w

Weird. Yea it’s not as glamorous or awesome as it sounds. Especially as someone who is very introverted and somewhat shy.

1

Anonymous

#30 9w

One case a girl got raped and she organsm. Because of that the judge ruled that she wanted it and dismissed the case. If you tickle someone, they will laugh if they like it or not.

38