Anonymous #1 3w

I'm bi. I would get up and leave if a man said that to me on a date, any woman okay being objectified needs to get some self respect about herself. Also, this is prob early stage based on being like "on our next date" vs just saying we should go to a water park. if they were actually in a relationship, he probably would have seen her in a bikini before and even more like in underwear which is the same this. Context clues say they don't know each other well enough for that to be appropriate

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Anonymous OP 3w

*even more likely

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Anonymous #1 3w

So yes. It is "a man" whether they're on a date or not, don't be weird and rude lol you don't get a pass just because you're on a date

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Anonymous #1 3w

Also wanting your bf to compliment your outfit is absolutely not the same thing as some guy you've been on a few dates with saying he wants to take you to a waterpark to see you in a bikini like what are you even talking about

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Anonymous OP 3w

Actually, context (perhaps spelled out a little too clearly to count as “clues”) tells us she’d have been cool with it if it was someone compatible with her orientation. And that’s ok because establishing whether you’re into each other and how sexual you like to be are like the number one and two purposes of a date. And i notice you said a man telling you that would scare you off. But not a woman? Not to put words in your mouth, but if that’s the case, doesn’t that kinda support oop’s point?

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Anonymous OP 3w

No not just for being on a date. But you do get a pass if they want to fuck you. That’s the purpose of flirting lol, to gauge that. If you make a suggestive comment and get shut down you know you’re not getting anywhere, and isn’t that objectively a good thing to know? Its not MY style personally, but I certainly see the usefulness. And why is that so absolutely different exactly? The distinction between “your bf” and “some guy you’ve been on a few dates with” can get pretty arbitrary.

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Anonymous #1 3w

No they don't lmao what the fuck you don't get a pass to be rude on a date just because I wanna fuck you, that's actually the fastest way for me to not wanna fuck you. Omg like who are you dealing with and how did your dad raise you for you to think that's okay?? And the difference is not just you're bf and some guy, it's that you said you pick out outfits and give compliments, that is not that same as being gross and rude to someone you barely know in public

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Anonymous #1 3w

I'm bi. If a girl said that to me it would seem more like a joke and light hearted. If a guy said it I would be immediately icked and leave

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Anonymous OP 3w

Tf? My dad?? You think my dad taught me women enjoy suggestive banter more when you’re sleeping together? No you whackadoodle, women I’ve slept with taught me that And apparently also taught YOU that, since you just acknowledged that same double standard as to yourself. You’re allowed to arbitrarily decide who gets to talk that way to you, but it’s very weird to pretend it has or should have absolutely nothing to do with who you’re into. Of course it does, like welcome to earth

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Anonymous OP 3w

The fact it FEELS like a “joke and lighthearted” when it’s a girl is an imaginary distinction since the girl and the guy both a) think they’re being cute and b) both want to fuck you. You just don’t like guys as much, which is why you have them on thinner ice. I mean, I don’t blame you, I’m straight, I don’t like guys at all. But treating oop like she’s weird for listening to herself and reflecting on that is just a very flawed analysis when your double standards ALSO reflect your preferences.

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Anonymous #1 3w

It's not an imaginary distinction, misogyny is a thing that exists

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Anonymous #1 3w

And I didn't say op was weird lol I said not wanting to be objectified by a man on a date is not a distinctly lesbian thing

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Anonymous #1 3w

And no as a grown ass man you shouldn't think you're being cute by saying that, be normal. It's not even "being cute" when a woman says it, it's just not a violation in the same way as it is when a man says it. Remove romance or sexual intent at all, your female friend can tell you you have a great body and it's just a compliment not even sexual, your male friend absolutely fucking cannot because that's weird

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Anonymous #1 3w

No I think your dad didn't raise you to be respectful toward women. And again, it's not arbitrary, men objectifying women is rooted in misogyny and she doesn't know that man well enough to even judge if he's well intended or just gross

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Anonymous OP 3w

Yes misogyny exists, but it’s not the difference between a male & female partner telling you the exact same thing. And ur different reaction to them would seem to reflect misandry not misogyny. Kinda the opposite. And if ur not a misandrist, but are gay, then attributing it to your sexuality, as oop did, made perfect sense, since it kinda had to be one of those things. Her logic isnt flawed, u just arrived at the same behavior for two different reasons bc ur two different people.

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Anonymous OP 3w

If men objectifying women was rooted in misogyny, then women wouldn’t do it. And gay men wouldn’t do it to other men (are they somehow misogynistic towards each other? Not that I’ve seen). People objectifying each other is rooted in something way more universal than that: hornyness. If your dislike of male hornyness is a retaliation against misogyny, that’s one thing. But it’s not their motive for being horny, they’d be horny anyway. Again, hence why everyone does.

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Anonymous OP 3w

And what?? “Remove romance or sexual intent at all” then why would I care what either my male or female friend thinks of my great body? In reality, where I would only care bc I want women to want to fuck me; I’d enjoy that feedback from both male and female friends (admittedly moreso the women) bc that’s a great sign. And even if I employed the same double standard you assume I do, that would definitely and obviously be based on my sexuality, not ignoring it.

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Anonymous #1 3w

You can't possibly have female friends

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Anonymous #1 3w

Gay men can be misogynistic and you're not smart enough for this conversation so let's not continue. It's really gross to be publicly sexualizing women you barely even know, learn some manners and have some couth

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Anonymous OP 3w

Why not? Bc every woman on earth would be offended by my basic awareness that people welcome different behavior from people they’re sleeping with vs people they aren’t? It never comes up bc ur the first person I ever heard dispute it. Like how I never argue the earth is round; I just don’t know anyone who claims otherwise. And yeah I know gay men can be misogynistic. They usually are. But is that why they sexualize other men? Bc otherwise I don’t see why that would be in any way relevant.

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Anonymous #1 3w

No actually, the people I'm fucking aren't gross and inappropriate towards me in public. You're a weirdo stop commenting because I'm done responding

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