Anonymous #1 16h

Well if it was a black person, we’re often asked that maliciously because people believe that black women can’t grow their own hair and always wear wigs

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Anonymous #1 16h

microaggression

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Anonymous #2 11h

Okay but a lot of people aren’t thinking maliciously it if you’re reacting from a bad mental space that makes you malicious toward someone who just admired your hair

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Anonymous #2 11h

There was no malicious intent, not in my tone, not in the way I talked to her, she joined MY conversation cuz she knew who I was talkin to and I complimented her hair literally the sentence before I asked, I genuinely don’t know what I did wrong 🥲 I’m looking for good extensions which is why I asked to begin with

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Anonymous #5 11h

You say a lot of people aren’t thinking maliciously but it clearly happens enough for someone to be defensive about it right off the bat.

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Anonymous #1 11h

I completely believe you and you did nothing wrong. A lot of people react from previous experiences or biases they have in their own head. I’ve experienced this a lot.

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Anonymous #3 11h

Calling someone racist for asking a friendly question is regular aggression

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Anonymous #2 11h

Doesn’t change my point.

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Anonymous #2 11h

If you are defensive and aggressive to someone who is being nice to you, they don’t deserve that

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Anonymous #5 10h

Obviously not. All I did was explain why she acted that way. Also, they call micro aggressions MICRO for a reason. They’re unnoticeable to ppl who don’t experience them/the ppl who don’t experience them can sometimes be unaware of them

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Anonymous #2 10h

Asking about your hair cause we like it isn’t aggressive. Just stop and let people like ur damn hair ffs

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Anonymous #2 10h

Thanks for the all caps on the micro btw maybe if you yell about it will be true? You have a victim mentality and that prevents you from receiving compliments and praise when people genuinely like you.

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Anonymous #5 9h

Okay now ur just ignoring what im saying and trying to argue…how am I being a victim by trying to explain the possible fucking thinking behind her getting upset?? When did I ever say that I myself have been upset when receiving compliments?? I can tell a genuine fucking compliment from an insult. Pretending something doesn’t exist doesn’t mean it isn’t real, and denying it because you will never experience does nobody any favors.

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Anonymous #1 9h

Im sure you didn’t mean it maliciously and it’s unfortunate she acted like that. It’s extra odd if she knew you were a cosmologist. Like I stated above in a different comment, she probably mistook it for a micro aggression. Im sorry if my original comment came off as accusatory, I wasn’t trying to accuse anybody of anything or defend her behavior I just wanted to explain why she mightve acted like that.

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Anonymous #1 9h

I believe you and frankly you didn’t do anything inherently wrong. The way micro-aggressions work is that the individual act may seem minor or even unintentional, but repeated experiences can have a cumulative effect. Another example is being in any field and when a woman does something, saying “wow you’re surprisingly good at this” because no shit it’s her job when in reality it comes from a subtle expectation that women can’t do anything productive. This is a similar situation.

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Anonymous OP 9h

Yes exactly!! That’s all I was trying to get at. Im glad you understood what I was trying to say 😭😭

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Anonymous #2 9h

Holy projection goddamn

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Anonymous OP 9h

Ig what I wonder now is why we couldn’t have a conversation about it instead of just jumping to me being racist…like idk

2

Anonymous #1 9h

Yeah…a simple “wait, what did you mean by that?” Would’ve fixed everything. Idk why she reacted so harshly

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Anonymous #5 9h

What an interesting way to say you didn’t read shit I said.

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