Anonymous #2 21h

I don't even know what to fucking do. We've been together for 4 years

225

Anonymous OP 21h

like bisexual or gay gay 😭

303

Anonymous #5 21h

Lmaooo

101

Anonymous #5 21h

Idfk, I asked him if he was serious, and he said no. And I kept pressing but he said it was a hypothetical. We ask a lot of those so he told me not to be close minded

268

Anonymous OP 21h

4 years?? I am so sorry, this is sad

279

Anonymous OP 19h

Talk to him and maybe break up. It sucks to say but knowing what you know now, neither of you would be truly happy in that relationship.

155

Anonymous OP 18h

think it’s time to talk to him and let him know how you feel

182

Anonymous #29 18h

Corny

3

Anonymous #35 18h

Everyone is so gullible in this app lol

11

Anonymous #2 17h

He is gay for real. It is absurd for any straight guy to be asking such a question from his girl, then he said not to have a close mind. Give him the boot now before it is too late. Atlanta GA is number 3 HIV infected. Let him go please. He has already gave you the hint

53

Anonymous #40 17h

Will yall shut up and stop commenting on a fake post, thanks

-11

Anonymous OP 17h

If he is, best you can do is split, take some time, and become besties. If this is the case, don’t feel hurt, think of it this way, you so good that it took him 4 years to realize it.

24

Anonymous #46 17h

^cuz idk him but theres a very small chance this could be him tryna fuck w you to be funny bc the internet makes ppl think playing w peoples emotions is funny and not fucked up

-2

Anonymous #45 17h

Girl bye ts is so hurtful. HE DESTROYED LIVES AND WASTED HER TIME !!! He’s a pos. “hE wAs ScArEd” fuck that. We all have shit we’re scared of being rejected for by society. GROW UP AND BE WITH WHO YOU WANT! He cheated on her, fuck “becoming besties” tf is yall problem? Just bc hes gay dont mean shit. He’s a terrible person.

12

Anonymous OP 17h

hes def fucking with you

77

Anonymous #49 17h

Idk how to tell you this but some people do have such deep rooted internalized homophobia that they self induce psychosis into believing theyre straight. And yes they get into relationships and realize they cant lie to themselves anymore. Its oftentimes not (literally almost never) a reflection of their partner and entirely to do with a persons own concept of self and how that fits in to learned prejudices against particular groups. Until youve had to reevaluate your entire identity to not want

52

Anonymous #46 17h

To not feel like you want to** literally k your s I dont think you can make these snap assumptions about people. This is how homophobia harms people who arent even members of the lgbtq+ community

17

Anonymous #46 17h

I understand that, however I’m sure after a few months these ppl realize “I’m not attracted to this” THEN THEY SHOULD LEAVEEEE

-2

Anonymous OP 17h

There’s a chance he’s messing with you or trying to be funny. I wouldn’t jump straight to the conclusion that he’s lying about his sexuality

76

Anonymous #53 17h

Highly doubt that. Men test the limits by “joking”

101

Anonymous #49 17h

Again, way easier said than done. Its like foot-in-the-dooring yourself. You could know, but that slim possibility that one day you might wake up and everything will be fine and youll be the version/person everyone thinks you are is so tempting. If you feel like your true self is worthless you will not want to give up that false identity even if its hurting you and people around you

20

Anonymous #46 17h

Nothing is normal or okay abt wasting YEARS of someone’s life bc you were too much of a coward to be who you are.

0

Anonymous #46 17h

Shit is ALWAYS way easier said than done. I’m so tired of these constant excuses for DL gay men. It’s not okay, THEY ARE HURTING PPL! This situation isn’t just abt them. They are making it just abt them and you are helping them do that. Throwing away a woman’s pain for the sake of a man SCREAMS misogyny. But yall don’t wanna hear that

13

Anonymous #49 17h

Im not saying its normal or okay Im saying its explainable. And understanding that line of reasoning is how you navigate something like this without two people getting massively hurt. Not saying its painless, but that pain isnt exclusive to one person

5

Anonymous #46 17h

However it’s being DONE to one person. Take accountability and GROW UP! it’s an explanation NEVER A JUSTIFICATION OR EXCUSE

2

Anonymous #49 17h

Girl bye Im not talking to you about this homophobia extends to women too this isnt about men vs women this is about learned societal treatment of same sex attraction this case its a guy but women do this to men too. Its not ok but theres a lot that goes on under the hood of someones mind its not your place or fair to sum that up with “misogyny”

23

Anonymous #40 16h

jumping to gay instead of bisexual when he’s been with a woman for several years? and I just know HIV wouldn’t have been the first thing on your mind if he was cheating with a woman instead. I don’t believe cheaters deserve sympathy, but what decade are y’all living in?

15

Anonymous #46 16h

Okay in this case it’s abt a man. Which completely changes the context and societal dynamics. Ik women do this too, but that’s not what I’m talking abt. If a woman does this it’s just as bad. However it’s less likely to happen bc ppl are more open to gay women (misogyny) That doesn’t take away from the fact that constantly defending DL gay men and coddling them (misogyny) will never help them grow. They need to take accountability. Period.

4

Anonymous #49 16h

Im not saying coddle. Having a semblance of understanding for another human being can be massively transformative. Im also NOT saying OP isnt entitled to feel upset about this. She absolutely is and deserves better than that. My sole point is painting this to be of some malicious intent on behalf of this man may not be entirely accurate. Youre over here painting dl men like its a slur like dog people go through shit and grow in life thats how it works. People are people. Unfortunately they dont

16

Anonymous #46 16h

Always take the most moral path. Thats a lesson I learned this past year I used to get so upset over stuff like this but sometimes people are trying their best with the hand theyre dealt and they dont always raise or fold at the right time. Its a lesson. Theyre figuring it out

16

Anonymous #46 16h

There’s nothing wrong with feeling for ppl and understanding there situation. However that dosent make this okay. DL men should be ashamed. DL shouldn’t even be a term. They are using ppl to hide and hurting them in the process. I understand they are struggling inside as well. That’s not an excuse.

-7

Anonymous #46 16h

That’s like saying “my insecure friend talked shit abt me for years behind my back, spread rumors, etc. all bc they were jealous of me and weren’t secure in themselves” sure I can feel empathy for that person. However they did wrong and need to be held to the fire for it. (Which rarely happens for men so im not surprised you are up in arms defending them. It’s the ultimate indoctrination).

-4

Anonymous #41 16h

LMAOOOO

0

Anonymous #46 16h

Also the most moral path here would be to defend the person who’s been done wrong. Not the perpetrator. You aren’t as deep as you think you are

-5

less than 15% of gay & bisexual men in the US are HIV positive… some of you aren’t just saying “get a full STI test if he’s cheating on you” but instead “get tested for HIV if he might be fucking men”. because you think of HIV as The Gay Disease, as if you grew up under the Reagan administration, in the year of our lord 2026

28

Anonymous #49 16h

Ugh ew 😭

10

and if you think that sounds high, something like 20% of women in the US have genital herpes

17

https://womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/genital-herpes

14

it’s not a moral failing, I would hope it would be clear that I’m not blaming women for living with HSV (herpes) just the same as I would hope it’d be a given that queer men aren’t to be blamed for HIV. raw sex is common and condoms aren’t perfect. HSV in particular has more to do with skin-to-skin contact rather than fluid exchange, and it often lies dormant in the system for a long time (i.e. no symptoms until a full-blown outbreak occurs)

14

https://dph.illinois.gov/topics-services/diseases-and-conditions/diseases-a-z-list/diseases/genital-herpes.html men’s rates of genital herpes are much lower. if you’re gonna oversimplify human sexual behavior down to “catching an STI is a moral failing” then congratulations, with HSV you are disproportionately blaming women simply because it’s harder for men to contract

8

you really are not “taking that clock” lol, your attitudes about sexual health are clearly primarily based in stereotypes and lack of knowledge, yet you continue to state them with undue confidence. rather than being so eager to determine who to blame, consider that everyone is susceptible to STIs, and no one wants them

9

I linked you the article. if you were interested in learning the facts rather than clinging to cliches (and TYPING IN ALL CAPS), you’d find answers to those questions by actually doing the reading

10

all you’re doing is going out of your way to keep being bigoted & wrong even after you briefly pretended to be willing to listen

12

imagine having your intellectual curiosity be so feeble that you give up when you struggle with a link. take a screenshot, copy the text, make sure there’s no spaces? do a goddamn google for your own self? willful ignorance at this point. gross

11

you know very well what you’re doing, homophobic dimwit. I’m not wasting my time talking in circles with someone who’s noticeably disinterested in taking any initiative to learn things on your own

11

Anonymous OP 15h

he’s probably bi and just realizing or scared of the reaction his friends/family/you would have if he opened up about being bi

63

Anonymous #46 15h

literally this^^^

9

Anonymous #49 15h

okay, bi erasure, not everyone’s only attracted to one sex

13

Anonymous #70 15h

THANK YOU! Ppl swear I was being mean or sth. I understand that they are going through something internally, and that’s HARD! I’m not denying that or invalidating it. I just hate no one is holding them accountable. It reminds me how much society coddles men

-3

Anonymous #70 15h

That’s also true! He should still be honest with her tho.

-1

Anonymous #49 15h

Also my apologies for my ignorance earlier. I’ve read up on the HIV disease and I am truly disgusted and disappointed in myself for believing that propaganda I was fed. You all have a nice day <3 (I deleted the ignorant comments. But I still stand by holding these men accountable. Don’t get me wrong).

48

Anonymous #49 15h

you say that, but until you’ve spent your entire life being told being gay is a choice and the wrong choice, and how one day you’ll have the perfect wedding, and your fed images and stories about being the perfect dad/mom with a white picket fence, dog, kids, and wife/husband, and the ONLY representation you see in the world around you is hetero normative families, you won’t understand

12

Anonymous #70 15h

Girl… I am not homophobic. (I am unlearning the biases I was taught) I don’t believe being gay is a choice. I don’t think it’s the “wrong” choice either. I don’t stand for gender roles, heteronormative shit, or anything like that. I am saying they need to be held accountable.

-2

Anonymous #70 15h

Like wtf are you actually talking abt.

-2

Anonymous #49 15h

whether or not you are homophobic, your comments ARE. they are uniformed, unempathetic, and HOMOPHOBIC. learn what comphet is before commenting on someone else’s journey. you will never understand what it’s like to dissect every little thing about yourself, how you were raised, your beliefs, your sexuality, whether what you think is attraction is even attraction until you actually have to do it. yes, sometimes people hurt others during their journey, and they should reflect and repent if they do

26

Anonymous #70 15h

That’s all I’m saying to do. They shouldn’t hurt ppl on their journey. There’s a such thing as self reflection and figuring out who you are WITHOUT HURTING PPL. They should be held accountable, what I’m saying is not homophobia. Yall just hate when men need to be held accountable (misogyny, indoctrination) goodbye and GROW UP

-3

Anonymous #70 15h

I also think the concept of “coming out” is dumb. Ik what comphet is. Ppl should just bring home who they want. Read my comments. There’s so much shit ppl are afraid of coming out for in society. Either swim or drown. Be happy for suffer in silence while destroying the lives around you. However I’m not gonna coddle the person too cowardly to come out and live in who they are when so many do. It’s 2026! Like a lot of you said to me! I understand in some situations DLs need to stay in the closet

-3

Anonymous #49 15h

(Unsafe situations) however when they are safe, and are just scared of what some rando might think of them for it and so they go on in that lifestyle- THATS NOT OKAY

-2

Anonymous #49 15h

i actually LOVE when men are held accountable as woman who daily debates if being bi is comp-het and has to deal with the patriarchy. but i also understand intersectionality, and the fact that sometimes you hurt people with knowing that you’ve done anything to hurt them. this guy^ is clearly trying to have a conversation about it with his gf if he’s serious, and i wouldn’t want to open up if my gf reacted like she was disgusted by the idea and immediately started jumping to conclusions ab HIV

15

Anonymous #70 15h

I understand intersectionality as well. God forbid I have less empathy for the person who is doing wrong. HES ON A DATING APP! Pls for the love of God open your eyes, this is a terrible situation for both parties for sure. However the woman is suffering a hell of a lot more behind this man’s actions and cowardice

3

Anonymous #49 15h

i actually agree with this. i think it sucks having such a difficult identity and sexuality crisis. finding out ur gay is life changing. but why invalidate the girl’s feelings? he should’ve opened up and had that hard conversation. not go behind her back and do god knows what with strangers in a relationship. it’s a principle thing.

21

Anonymous #27 15h

THANK YOU OMG 🙏

3

Anonymous OP 14h

That was a soft launch

27

Anonymous OP 14h

Girl the nihga DL

13

Anonymous OP 14h

My bf asked me if I would still love him if he was gay 😭

13

Anonymous #76 14h

What did you say??

1

Anonymous #78 13h

Exactly.

1

Anonymous #35 13h

Literally

1

Anonymous #49 13h

not all men are complete assholes some are just stupid 😭

5

Anonymous #85 13h

When did I say all men were assholes?

12

Anonymous #72 12h

This is the most brain rotted take I’ve ever fucking heard

16

Anonymous #87 12h

Or he might be bi

4

Anonymous #87 12h

Cheating is still cheating, doesn’t matter guy/guy or girl/girl or girl/ guy

6

Anonymous #72 11h

you’re brain dead

6

Anonymous #45 11h

how????

1

Anonymous #80 11h

right

6

Anonymous OP 11h

He definitely trynna get some dihh get out his way and let him get cracked lmao

1

Anonymous #102 8h

We know, yall love being side bitches. No self worth or integrity. Just nothing.

6

Anonymous white_glow 8h

I said yes but I would be disappointed if he wasn’t attracted to me anymore

5

Anonymous #101 8h

COMPUTAAAA TELL THIS LADY HER MAN IS GAY

1

Anonymous #104 8h

Can yall stop commenting on this now im sorry i deleted my comment and it still notifies me every 3 seconds lol

-2

Anonymous #70 7h

I think the issue #49 has is not with him being gay or bi or being comp het. It is the fact that he is making it about himself when he is the one hurting another person? She doesn’t really have a choice here, he did. He had years to come clean while lying to her face. I believe that is a form of manipulation. It is a sad situation but at the end of the day the person who is hurt here is the woman, not the gay or bi man. We can say that he is scared but that isn’t a great excuse right now.

3

Anonymous #70 7h

To add to my previous point. He had did try to have a conversation…. Four years into a relationship. That is going to sting and feel like a betrayal. And not to mention, he has Grindr active and open. So not only is he lying, but he is cheating. No matter the circumstances, cheating is not ok. Just because he maybe had comp het doesn’t mean he gets to continue to lie, manipulate, cheat on someone who loves him, and doesn’t know what is going on. He is the perpetrator here.

1

Anonymous #70 7h

I would also add we are making our own assumptions and conclusions about this man, making it seem less worse than it may be. He doesn’t have to be comp het, he could also just be a raging jerk who is cheating on his partner.

1

Anonymous #49 6h

Your comments are totally ignorant; don’t assume things about people you know NOTHING about. But y’all don’t wanna hear that.

6

Anonymous #49 6h

Moral people extend sympathy to the people who are hated the most, because these people are the most likely to have less sympathy than they deserve

1

Anonymous #86 1h

Oh no, totally agree, just saying he might go both or one way, either way it’s still VERY much wrong

1