Confessions on Sidechat | hot take: I think having kids while being poly is terrible for the kid and selfish. I’m fairly liberal and queer myself but this is the one thing I do not believe in. **I am not saying poly relationships is bad.

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Confessions 1d

hot take: I think having kids while being poly is terrible for the kid and selfish. I’m fairly liberal and queer myself but this is the one thing I do not believe in. **I am not saying poly relationships is bad.

Anonymous 1d

I don’t think it’s bad if it’s done right, the same way that a non-poly couple can be terrible and inattentive parents to their child, so can the poly people But the same is true the other direction, I’d just say the more people the more chance that one could mess things up but that’s not necessarily true for majority of cases

Anonymous 1d

Idc if it’s “polyphonic” it’s weird for a kid to grow up in and they can’t understand it at a young age and creates odd and complex dynamics

Anonymous 1d

Why do you think it’s terrible for the kid? What if the kid grew up to be poly and never got to see first hand experiences of adults doing it well?

Anonymous 1d

Seems polyphobic

-1

Anonymous

#1 1d

i think it’s terrible for the kid because often times it presents as unstable and if not navigated properly can result in a lot of issues. But this is *my* hottake and I know ppl don’t agree with me.

Anonymous

OP 1d

But if you’re doing it right shouldn’t it not present as unstable? Hetero parents run the same risks of appearing poorly and can result in lots of issues too… are hetero parents terrible for the kids? We’re all human who screw up

Anonymous

#1 1d

why do you assume just because I think poly parents can present as more unstable means that hetero parents are the automatic norm? I think gay couples, they them couples, literally any monogamous relationship, and by proxy a nuclear family can present as more stable. There are already a LOT of issues that happen between nuclear families, I believe that adding people to the parental equation will exacerbate those issues.

Anonymous

#2 1d

I think it’s more of a situation where EVERYONE should make sure they are in a stable place monetarily and mentally, and within their relationship before they have kids Like visit a couple’s therapist or something, even if you are doing alright it won’t hurt you to just make sure you’re ready

Anonymous

#2 1d

I don’t necessarily think that it’s automatically horrible but I generally think poly couples having children have a much higher chance of being unstable. In general I don’t really get polyamory (I’m not opposed to it in the least but it is the sector of queerness that I simply do not understand)

Anonymous

#2 1d

Also since my hot take is based on my personal experiences, a lot of polyamorous relationships I have seen first hand (mainly through queer friends) tend to involve an initial monogamous couple turned polyamory or a polyamorous partner and monogamous partner, and they are in general not the most stable kind of poly relationship since those circumstances almost *never* work. Hence I see them as unstable. I do have some poly friends who are 100% happy though, so i get where you’re coming from.

Anonymous

OP 1d

Tbf the only poly couples I know are pretty stable lol, I’m curious on the actual stats on it tho